Just post all witty stories you have. I will start out.
Last night we were transoprting a small(2 gallon) fishtank that I drained half the water out of. I went around a turn and hit a bump and my wife made a comment about it splashing onto her leg as it was between her feet. I responded "I'm not licking your legs tonight" my other thought was "Im not sucking on your toes tonight" but my son was in the car and that would not go over well if he said that at school.