Me: *cooking soup and measuring out the bouillon powder to add to the water* I hope I mix this right. There's no measurement directions on the jar.
Dad: Well, if you don't add enough you can put more in, and if you add too much you can take some out.
Dad: *wolfish grin* Just seeing if you're paying attention.
Dad just reminded me of something he had done years and years ago. I had completely forgotten until tonight.
My grandfather was an abusive alcoholic. He'd hide his booze all around the house, pretty typical alcoholic behavior.
My grandparents lived with us for a little while back when I was a kid because they had lost their house and were looking for an apartment. Dad told my grandfather that under no circumstances will he allow alcohol in his house. If he has to get drunk, do it elsewhere and be sober by time he gets home cuz he's not stepping foot through his door if he's drunk.
Grandpa completely ignored what he said and thought he'd be sneaky by sneaking alcohol into the house. (People, don't try to fool an ISTP. They notice. )
Dad went around and collected all of the alcohol bottles.
Then, he bought several tubes of super glue.
He glued the caps to all the bottles.
He glued the bottles to each other.
Then he glued the bottles to the counter.
It was one huge lump of alcohol and glass.
Grandpa came home from work and the ensuing battle was EPIC.
I can still see the faint outline of where the bottles were glued down on the counter top.
A fellow student was changing a tire in class and having difficulty. He enlisted the help of another student but to no use. This caught the attention of the teacher and as I walked by he motioned me to come over and take a look, "Why can't he get this tire on?" he says. I look at the tire and reply to the student, "You need lube." After a few seconds of silence and all of us looking at the tire I go, "....or you can just spit on it."
The students busted out laughing and my teacher turned red, shook his head and started laughing.
at a friend's house hanging out with some chums.
my friend's ESFP roommate (who has quite an ego) comes home a while later, covered in face paint and smiling.
we all looked at her, and of course had to ask what she had been up to.
she acts as though it's no big thing to come home covered in face paint, and replies along the lines of, "oooh, nothing. just the usual crazy stuff."
i replied, "ah, just another day in the life of _____."
she glanced at me suspectfully after that and scuffled off to her room.
"I don't know a perfect person.
I only know flawed people who are still worth loving."
Setting: large dinner-party at friend's house.
Situation: I released my friend's beautiful, large Persian cat from his enclosure (he gets freaked out by visitors) for a few minutes in order to pet him. He bolted into the night. I jumped walls and whatnot to try and get him but... heh, try catching a cat that doesn't want to be caught. So I morosely go and explain what's happened to the friend. She says he'll turn up the next morning as usual but mock-seriously chides me in front of everyone going "I just had him professionally groomed yesterday. Cost me quite a bit of money and he'll now come back all dirty and bedraggled. Dali, how could you?" I pause for two seconds then respond "I'll groom him myself". *everyone falls about laughing*