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  1. #71
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    *looks both ways* *ducks out the side door*

  2. #72
    Senior Member Bamboo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    that's easy... I frequently do hideously klutzy things, like shut my own head in the car door by accident, and then have the good sense to be amused by it instead of crying and needing reassurance

    or figuring out a new way to slice potatoes thinnly, running into the livingroom, and enthusiastically announcing the new discovery with enthusiasm usually reserved for things like Christmas morning- this was good probably because it led to fried potatoes

    yeah- he has no shortage of things to make fun of me for...
    Definetly entp.

    also, try not to get off on some mental tangent about politics or whatever and cut off your index finger slicing potatoes. or back up into my car listening to talk radio. please.

    i worry about you guys.
    Quote Originally Posted by countrygirl View Post
    Why not ask? My husband and I have talked about our past. I see it as open communication and honesty.
    I'll second this. I don't really mind talking about my past. And for her case, I know I'm not the first guy, why pretend? I can probably learn something about how I fit into her life but finding out why the other guys no longer are.

    I'll know how not to screw up. This won't necessarily preclude me from screwing up, but at least I won't be clueless.
    Don't know how much it'll bend til it breaks.

  3. #73
    Rainy Day Woman MDP2525's Avatar
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    If someone wants to tell me something about their past or exes. Fine by me. I don't judge...but I will remember...

    I don't like someone asking me about my past. I'll decide when or if or what I disclose. It can be a turn off if someone is asking these questions too soon. Often it depends on if I feel like the person asking me these questions can handle the answers.

    The worst thing is dating someone who uses what I have disclosed as ammo for arguments. I absolutely hate that and it's a surefire way to have me leave yo' ass stat!
    ~luck favors the ready~


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  4. #74
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    I actually enjoy 'using things against them', or at least, I do something that could be misinterpreted that way. Because I enjoy understanding and making sense out of people, I'll point out things that you seem to do in an inconsistent way, in the hopes that you can enlighten me as to why the dichotomy exists, or to point out to you that your actions might not be in line with your values/reasoning/previous actions. I don't mean that badly, but it can certainly sometimes not be appreciated by people.

    I...take it that's a no-no with ISTPs then?
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  5. #75
    Senior Member Trepidation's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    I actually enjoy 'using things against them', or at least, I do something that could be misinterpreted that way. Because I enjoy understanding and making sense out of people, I'll point out things that you seem to do in an inconsistent way, in the hopes that you can enlighten me as to why the dichotomy exists, or to point out to you that your actions might not be in line with your values/reasoning/previous actions. I don't mean that badly, but it can certainly sometimes not be appreciated by people.

    I...take it that's a no-no with ISTPs then?
    It's in the difference between making an observation and making a judgement. It would probably be fine if you say "I don't get this, you did X last time because you value this, that and the other. But this time you did Y, which seems to contradict that." But if you say "What the hell? Why do you always have to have double standards about everything?" then I doubt that you'll get a positive reaction. I don't think it's really specific to ISTPs, but that's how I've always thought about it.
    Let us not rail about justice as long as we have arms and the freedom to use them.
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  6. #76
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    ^No, though I do that too. I'm talking about pointing out discrepancies in their behavior, or like things where I feel I haven't gotten all the pieces of the puzzle yet to interpret them correctly. The second instance I'm talking about is where I've got a pretty clear picture and something doesn't add up and smells of hypocrisy..Could be hypocrisy they're not aware of and don't mean that way, they've just never realised it was hypocrisy. So I'll point it out carefully by questionning it innocently, to see if I've made an interpretation mistake, or if they just don't realize it's hypocritical. Those I see being deliberate hypocrits and asses at the same time get it full throttle though
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  7. #77
    Rainy Day Woman MDP2525's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    I...take it that's a no-no with ISTPs then?
    When you explain your reasoning it's more understandable why you are curious and why you would ask but I can't speak for other ISTP's. Only myself and I would definitely not like that. I wouldn't be offended but more than likely I would just shut that line of questioning down. Nicely. Here's why:

    Every situation is different. Every person I have been involved with is different. Which means that my actions in that relationship was particular and unique because that individual is particular and unique as well. If I did something in one relationship that could be considered "out of character" (i.e. what you judge my character to be) it's because I was responding to something at that moment in that time that felt right.

    Therefore, I don't feel like there's much of a need to disclose the past because it is not indicative of any current or future behavior on my part while involved with you. I would respond only to you. I don't take the past with me other than the lessons learned. So talking about it is pointless.

    It's natural for you to do what you said you like to do with that information. People are human.

    For example. If someone tells me they cheated on the last three lovers they had. Guess what? I'm not gonna judge you but I'm gonna keep that in mind. If you tell me something about your past I figure you're telling me because it's important for me to know. So. I won't forget it.

    If it's not important and you're just disclosing your past to do so. Eh. Okay. But why give someone cause to get distracted from the here and now and what is going on with YOUR relationship with THAT person? Make sense?
    ~luck favors the ready~


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  8. #78
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    I see your reasoning, but I don't completely agree. I do think that the past is valid and it has a lot more impact than we often realize. At least, I find it to be true for most people. And...most of them don't even know that they're bringing it into the equation. Often it also gets them stuck in a pattern that can be unhealthy or an explanation as to why they do something typically, or why someone else triggers that pattern in them.

    I don't judge. Everyone has their reasons, has been formed by their past, by their emotional bagage and they're all human and have their flaws, as well as their strengths. I won't ever hold that against someone. But I do wanna know where it comes from. Much like NTs like solving problems, I enjoy solving the puzzle that is a person. So..yeah, I'm going to be curious about your past, coz I wanna see you as an entire person. I wanna see the patterns emerge, the journey you've made, I want you to share with me how you experienced those things, how it formed your look on life, your perspective on the world, which I in turn can learn from as well. It's all relevant to me. Not to judge you. But to understand you completely

    I do respect it though when people rather not talk. Though..I might try several times to get to that topic as several roads do lead to Rome..and several streaks of curiosity can end me up at that same roadblock again and again
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  9. #79
    Rainy Day Woman MDP2525's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    I see your reasoning, but I don't completely agree. I do think that the past is valid and it has a lot more impact than we often realize. At least, I find it to be true for most people. And...most of them don't even know that they're bringing it into the equation. Often it also gets them stuck in a pattern that can be unhealthy or an explanation as to why they do something typically, or why someone else triggers that pattern in them.
    I think this is especially true for people who don't know themselves very well. Then the past creeps in and can sabotage relationships.

    I don't judge. Everyone has their reasons, has been formed by their past, by their emotional bagage and they're all human and have their flaws, as well as their strengths. I won't ever hold that against someone. But I do wanna know where it comes from. Much like NTs like solving problems, I enjoy solving the puzzle that is a person. So..yeah, I'm going to be curious about your past, coz I wanna see you as an entire person. I wanna see the patterns emerge, the journey you've made, I want you to share with me how you experienced those things, how it formed your look on life, your perspective on the world, which I in turn can learn from as well. It's all relevant to me. Not to judge you. But to understand you completely
    Very understandable. One of my very best friends is ENFP. I know how you guys work. She knows everything about me and is one of the most open-minded individuals I know. Keep in mind my previous post was geared towards the general population and not just curious ENFP's.

    I do respect it though when people rather not talk. Though..I might try several times to get to that topic as several roads do lead to Rome..and several streaks of curiosity can end me up at that same roadblock again and again
    Ultimately this is how you guys open people up. I may not disclose what you are asking the first few times but in time, when I know and trust you, that third or fourth time you ask may do the trick.

    Or just get us drunk. Much easier.
    ~luck favors the ready~


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  10. #80
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    What is it with ISTPs and being drunk?
    It's like the button 'Open' suddenly appears out of no where
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