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  1. #191
    Artisan Conquerer Halla74's Avatar
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    QUESTIONS ANYONE???
    --------------------
    Type Stats:
    MBTI -> (E) 77.14% | (i) 22.86% ; (S) 60% | (n) 40% ; (T) 72.22% | (f) 27.78% ; (P) 51.43% | (j) 48.57%
    BIG 5 -> Extroversion 77% ; Accommodation 60% ; Orderliness 62% ; Emotional Stability 64% ; Open Mindedness 74%

    Quotes:
    "If somebody asks your MBTI type on a first date, run". -Donna Cecilia
    "Enneagram is psychological underpinnings. Cognitive Functions are mental reasoning and perceptional processes. -Sanjuro

  2. #192
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    Ok, got one for ya

    This is kinda general, but is probably of interest to a few of us.

    Rumour has it that "men like bitches". I believe there is a book rejoicing under this title (or "why men like bitches.") It kind of makes my heart sink, to be honest. But I suspect that in some respects this saying is rubbish, and in some respects there is more than a grain of truth to it. What are your thoughts?
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  3. #193
    Artisan Conquerer Halla74's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    Ok, got one for ya
    Yay!

    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    This is kinda general, but is probably of interest to a few of us.
    The perfect type of question...

    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    Rumour has it that "men like bitches".
    I see where this is going; I'm with you I think it's rubbish.

    DEFINE PLEASE:
    Men= ???
    Bitches= ???
    Guys= ???
    Chicks= ???
    Players= ???
    Sluts= ???

    There's alot of subjectivity in WHO is being asked this question, and WHO is answering it.
    Know what I mean?

    I think the root of your question comes down to "Men like women who play hard to get."
    Obviously this couold be logically inverted to say "Women like men who play hard to get."

    To this I say have to say I have seen it happen, but that it has never been part of anything I have ever considered romance, or romantic, or a means to initiate any healthy type of potentially romantic interaction. Maybe I'm too old school. Everytime in my life that I have met pretty young girl who was also not committed I would walk over to her and literally start some type of conversation with "Hi!" If that conversation went well, then the next time I saw her I would usually have a red rose in hand, go speak with her again, whether she was by herself or with friends, I didn't care, I'm not bashful, and give her the flower and ask her out. And you know what? I got accepted more times than rejected. "Those were different times" some will say, to that I say: BULLSHIT. There is ROMANCE and there are HEADGAMES. Nice girls, women, and ladies are interested in ROMANCE. Bitches, sluts, and whores are interested in HEAD GAMES.

    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    I believe there is a book rejoicing under this title (or "why men like bitches.") It kind of makes my heart sink, to be honest. But I suspect that in some respects this saying is rubbish, and in some respects there is more than a grain of truth to it. What are your thoughts?
    I have ALWAYS detested headgames, and have NEVER tolerated them in any relationships of my life, whether platonic OR romantic.
    I'd burn that book for kindling to start a nice fire and have a glass of Cabernet next to it.

    In my world, real men, and real women, have the maturity, self esteem, and courage to go out on a limb and find someone they just might fall in love with.
    If it were up to me both sexes would approach this aspect of life with grace and dignity.
    BUT - as a species we breed quickly, and unfortunately, there are quite a few bad parental role models out there, who do not instill in their children what the elements of a good and decent romantic relationship, courtship, and ultimately marriage are, and how they might be initiated when suitable candidates are encountered.

    How's that for an answer?



    -Alex
    --------------------
    Type Stats:
    MBTI -> (E) 77.14% | (i) 22.86% ; (S) 60% | (n) 40% ; (T) 72.22% | (f) 27.78% ; (P) 51.43% | (j) 48.57%
    BIG 5 -> Extroversion 77% ; Accommodation 60% ; Orderliness 62% ; Emotional Stability 64% ; Open Mindedness 74%

    Quotes:
    "If somebody asks your MBTI type on a first date, run". -Donna Cecilia
    "Enneagram is psychological underpinnings. Cognitive Functions are mental reasoning and perceptional processes. -Sanjuro

  4. #194
    Senior Member SRT's Avatar
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    I have one.

    Ahem: my friend got out of a three year relationship (his first serious one, I think) about two months ago, and he's been having a rough time trying to get back into the singles game. He's really cynical about women in general, and he used to be a really big "player" before this last girl. Right now I think he's trying to revert back to that mentality, but he's expressed to me before some remorse he's had about how he has treated women in the past. So I'm trying to be as supportive as I can, but I don't know how much I should encourage some of his older behavior. He's asked me for some advice/support, but the only advice I have is to tell him that I think he should spend some time alone and figure out what he wants, and he is really resistant to doing that.

    So, what should I do? Also, what advice would you give/have given a friend like this? Any other advice?

    Oh yeah, we're early twenties, in college. And thank you in advance.

  5. #195
    Artisan Conquerer Halla74's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SRT View Post
    I have one.
    Let's rock it!

    Quote Originally Posted by SRT View Post
    Ahem: my friend got out of a three year relationship (his first serious one, I think) about two months ago, and he's been having a rough time trying to get back into the singles game.
    The best strategy is not to approach it as a game. There is nothing more serious in this world than matters of the heart, and anyone who attempts to feign sincerity for instant romantic gratification will pay the heavier price in the end when our lives are all said and done. Be straight up. Be sincere. Be man enough to rejection. Be man enough to handle things not going exactly as you thought they would. How you deal with things after each "bomb" goes off is the ultimate measure of what your level of devotion is. If you're out to get laid then find a F.O.B. But if you are loooking for life, you had better not be on anythnig else than your bery best at all times, or else the one chance you have to approach Mrs. Right will be blown on your own short sighted and juvenile attitude. Don't fuck up. Be yourself, and go out there and find thegirl of your dreams. Whether it's you or your friend. DO IT. NOW.

    Quote Originally Posted by SRT View Post
    He's really cynical about women in general, and he used to be a really big "player" before this last girl. Right now I think he's trying to revert back to that mentality, but he's expressed to me before some remorse he's had about how he has treated women in the past.
    There is one path before all of us and that is forward progress. Tell your friend if you re-visits old territiories, old behaviors, he is styming his future and ultimate development.

    Quote Originally Posted by SRT View Post
    So I'm trying to be as supportive as I can, but I don't know how much I should encourage some of his older behavior.
    You are a good friend for not supportiong him on this. Hold your ground. Make him rise to the occasion and make himself a better man to move forward. And don't sacrifice your own well being for his temporary state of confusion/dysfunction.
    He is old enough to know that he is entitled to make choices with free will, but he also better understand that he must accept the consequences (be accountable) of the choices he makes, once the dust settles that is. Capice?

    Quote Originally Posted by SRT View Post
    He's asked me for some advice/support, but the only advice I have is to tell him that I think he should spend some time alone and figure out what he wants, and he is really resistant to doing that.
    You've spoken your mind, and he has not heeded your advice, that is his folly.
    He needs to see a counselor and get some things figured out before dating again, IMHO.

    Quote Originally Posted by SRT View Post
    So, what should I do?
    IMHO,you've done very well. I can't say I would have done much differently, except chew him out sternly here and there.

    Quote Originally Posted by SRT View Post
    Also, what advice would you give/have given a friend like this?
    Treat the ladies' you are intersted in with the same honesty, decency, respect, and romantic protocol that you wish to be treated with.
    Relationships are a two way street, and must remain in balance over the long run if they are to survive.

    Also - The #1 Tool Used by All People in Happy LTR's: COMMUNNICATION - None of us will ever perfect it, but we can (and must!) practice it to get better at it. And, as such, when we practice communication, there will be times that we screw up, fuck it man, it's just like soccer, get up off the ground and recover the play! Keep trying! I

    Another big determinant of people in happy LTR's is their ability to, when offended or taken abck, or just react negatively to what their partner said while TRYING to COMMUNNICATE, it is best to learn to make QUICK RECOVERIES, give them the look, tell them what part of whatever they said pissed you off, but then tell them you still wish to hear them out...otherwise you have just made it less likely that they will continue to try and COMMUNNICATE with you, because when they did MESS UP because they are HUMAN you chose to SCOLD them instead of ASSERT YOURSELF, and then RAISE THEM UP.

    AND - Be Honest. From Day One. Be honest.

    Quote Originally Posted by SRT View Post
    Any other advice?
    When in doubt opt for the more formal means of expressing romantic interest in a woman.
    Giving a woman a bouquet in front of her friends and saying a few entertaining words before you ask her to join you for lunch that day, or sometime soon, is ALOT more effective than texting a girl and asking her out. That type of shit grosses me out. Get off the fucking phones!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by SRT View Post
    Oh yeah, we're early twenties, in college. And thank you in advance.
    My advice applies to you, and those ten years older, and ten years younger. Thank you for that clarification though.



    Good luck!

    Keep me posted!

    -Alex
    Last edited by Halla74; 04-25-2011 at 08:43 PM.
    --------------------
    Type Stats:
    MBTI -> (E) 77.14% | (i) 22.86% ; (S) 60% | (n) 40% ; (T) 72.22% | (f) 27.78% ; (P) 51.43% | (j) 48.57%
    BIG 5 -> Extroversion 77% ; Accommodation 60% ; Orderliness 62% ; Emotional Stability 64% ; Open Mindedness 74%

    Quotes:
    "If somebody asks your MBTI type on a first date, run". -Donna Cecilia
    "Enneagram is psychological underpinnings. Cognitive Functions are mental reasoning and perceptional processes. -Sanjuro

  6. #196
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    Halla, how do magnets work? If I don't find out, my earlobes will cry.

  7. #197
    Artisan Conquerer Halla74's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mystic Tater View Post
    Halla, how do magnets work? If I don't find out, my earlobes will cry.
    They are attracted to the iron in your blood.
    Eat a few steaks and you will be fine.
    --------------------
    Type Stats:
    MBTI -> (E) 77.14% | (i) 22.86% ; (S) 60% | (n) 40% ; (T) 72.22% | (f) 27.78% ; (P) 51.43% | (j) 48.57%
    BIG 5 -> Extroversion 77% ; Accommodation 60% ; Orderliness 62% ; Emotional Stability 64% ; Open Mindedness 74%

    Quotes:
    "If somebody asks your MBTI type on a first date, run". -Donna Cecilia
    "Enneagram is psychological underpinnings. Cognitive Functions are mental reasoning and perceptional processes. -Sanjuro

  8. #198
    Senior Member SRT's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Halla74 View Post
    Keep me posted!

    -Alex
    I absolutely will. Thanks. It'll probably be later this week, with classes gearing down and all.

    By the way, I think your enthusiasm has worn off on me. I really feel better about dealing with these type of things now.

  9. #199
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Halla74 View Post
    There is ROMANCE and there are HEADGAMES. Nice girls, women, and ladies are interested in ROMANCE. Bitches, sluts, and whores are interested in HEAD GAMES.



    I have ALWAYS detested headgames, and have NEVER tolerated them in any relationships of my life, whether platonic OR romantic.
    I'd burn that book for kindling to start a nice fire and have a glass of Cabernet next to it.

    In my world, real men, and real women, have the maturity, self esteem, and courage to go out on a limb and find someone they just might fall in love with.
    If it were up to me both sexes would approach this aspect of life with grace and dignity.
    Hehe. Good answer. I think there are a lot of people who are amused by headgames or are just plain confused. However, I'm sure that there are also a few old fashioned, noble romantics out there. Yay for chivalry and straightforwardness.
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  10. #200
    Artisan Conquerer Halla74's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SRT View Post
    I absolutely will. Thanks. It'll probably be later this week, with classes gearing down and all.
    Good luck! I look forward to hearing frmo you!

    Quote Originally Posted by SRT View Post
    By the way, I think your enthusiasm has worn off on me. I really feel better about dealing with these type of things now.
    That makes me fell glad, thank you for that. It's stuff I can't tell you how many times I messed up in life myself, and then learned how to deal with things correctly, and if I can condense a myriad of those experiences into a few paragraphs to help you and your friend, then that is awesome news to me. Keep truckin' Bro!

    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    Hehe. Good answer. I think there are a lot of people who are amused by headgames or are just plain confused.
    If you learn what to look for, then they are easy to pick out, and save yourless much trouble.

    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    However, I'm sure that there are also a few old fashioned, noble romantics out there. [/quote

    I hope so!

    Yay for chivalry and straightforwardness.
    Amen to that!

    Always good to hear from you!



    -Halla
    --------------------
    Type Stats:
    MBTI -> (E) 77.14% | (i) 22.86% ; (S) 60% | (n) 40% ; (T) 72.22% | (f) 27.78% ; (P) 51.43% | (j) 48.57%
    BIG 5 -> Extroversion 77% ; Accommodation 60% ; Orderliness 62% ; Emotional Stability 64% ; Open Mindedness 74%

    Quotes:
    "If somebody asks your MBTI type on a first date, run". -Donna Cecilia
    "Enneagram is psychological underpinnings. Cognitive Functions are mental reasoning and perceptional processes. -Sanjuro

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