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  1. #131
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Halla74 View Post
    In the words of TypC's very own Domino: "You wish to increase your mightyness!"
    Hai!

    QUESTION: Do you wish to increase your ARM strength or your OVERALL strength?
    Overall strength, but I feel I am particularly weak in my arms.. I also like working them out the least what a coincidence!

    (1) Pull-ups (lats, shoulders)
    (2) Chin-ups (Biceps, lats)
    (3) Walking lunges (quads, hamstrings, glutes)
    (4) Dips (Between two chairs, or other stable and stationary furniture)
    (5) Pliometric jump squats (Jump up onto a bench, step down, left, right, repeat until legz are dead. )
    (6) Calf raises (Find a staircase, hold onto the rail, using one leg at a time raise yourself up and down while only your toes are on the edge od the step, 25 reps each leg, and the n50 with both feet together.)
    Sounds like a plan to me! <scribbles notes.>

    OK, regarding the dumbbells. Could you please tell me what your current use of them is?
    I do a workout DVD that requires them. Some of them are hard "Like where I spend a minute and a half doing shoulder raises - i dunno what they're called.. but. You have the dumbells in hand, and pull your arms straight up with your arms srtaight infront of you, and lower them again - with side lunges)

    (1) Backpack/Rucksack:
    This sounds like something off of Rocky. I think I have an old backpack...

    (2) Boxes of Books!
    I run a family business where we ship things Boxes are not a problem to obtain. This is an awesome idea.. at the delivery girl section!!

    FUN WITH TIRES:
    I have a spare tire for my car.. and a giant monster-truck tire in storage. I guess I'll just need something a bit more my-size!

    This totally makes me excited for summer. I think I shall spend some time collecting these things and break up this into routines come spring/warmer weather Thank you! I'll totally let you know how it goes for me

    Quote Originally Posted by Halla74 View Post
    Do the following:

    (1) Write down your list of priorities.
    (2) Execute them.
    (3) If you cannot, then punish yourself.
    I find myself frequently being productive in areas unrelated to the area I actually want to get done. Need homework done? Suddenly my room is clean. Got a pile of things to do? I pick the thing with the due date the furthest out.

    I find one thing that helps a lot is finding out WHY I'm avoiding it. If I realize I'm avoiding it because it's daunting, for example, then I split it up into sections. "Just clean this small corner, and then tomorrow I'll do another small corner.." Or if I'm avoiding it because I can't STAND the kind of work it is, I'll blitz through it to get it over with, or pick the hardest part and just do that first. Finding out why I'm avoiding it usually helps me get through it.

    NOTE: Beefy man not included in Iron Gym box, he is sold separately.
    Damn.
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  2. #132
    Senior Member countrygirl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Halla74 View Post
    Ask, and ye shall receive:

    Here is a high quality pull up bar that is versatile, and effortless to attach to a doorframe WITHOUT screwing in holes to damage the door frame: Enter the "Iron Gym." (~$30)

    Total Upper Body Workout Bar - As Seen on TV | Walgreens







    NOTE: Beefy man not included in Iron Gym box, he is sold separately.

    TIP: If you cannot do a pull-up or chin-up from a free hanging position all the ay up and all the way down, then use either of the two following methods t ocheat:

    (1) Bend your knees slightly, locking your feet together at the ankles to create a "handle" for your friend. Have your friend hold onto your "foot handle" (his/her palms up and cupped together) and request that they lift up on your feet when you need help with a positive portion (pulling yourself up) of a repetition. Then, for maximum effect, lower yourself down with no help, but do it as SLOWLY as you can.

    (2) Get a stepping stool and place it under the pull up bar. Step up and grab the bar so you are almost at the top of the rep. Once you're up, hold it for a good 2-5 seconds, and then lower yourself as SLOWLY as you can. This is a great trick if you don't have a spotter.

    (3) ADVANCED: Attach ankle weights, or wear the backpack with sand in it (described in kyuuei's response above) and then do pullups. The extra weight will make it harder, and you'll get more reps. BUT- if you do this for 3-4 weeks, and then do regular pull-ups, the regular pull-ups will be much easier, and you'll get more reps than you did before.



    Is that a little better?

    -Halla

    P.S. I added three new exercises "FUN WITH TIRES" to my response to kyuuei, as I forgot them earlier. Check'em out above...oh yeeeeah.
    The Iron gym looks great. However, where would I place my hands for the chin-up? Wouldn't my hands be in front of my shoulders or closer in?

  3. #133
    Self sustaining supernova Zoom's Avatar
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    *whistles innocently whilst poking Halla with a stick*


  4. #134
    Artisan Conquerer Halla74's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zoom View Post
    *whistles innocently whilst poking Halla with a stick*

    Zzzzt! Sorry! About to drive home for dinner, will reply after pizza is in belly.

    Cheers!



    -Halla
    --------------------
    Type Stats:
    MBTI -> (E) 77.14% | (i) 22.86% ; (S) 60% | (n) 40% ; (T) 72.22% | (f) 27.78% ; (P) 51.43% | (j) 48.57%
    BIG 5 -> Extroversion 77% ; Accommodation 60% ; Orderliness 62% ; Emotional Stability 64% ; Open Mindedness 74%

    Quotes:
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    "Enneagram is psychological underpinnings. Cognitive Functions are mental reasoning and perceptional processes. -Sanjuro

  5. #135
    Self sustaining supernova Zoom's Avatar
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    Ha! No worries, mate. Just pokin' you to remind your busy, hyperactive self.

  6. #136
    Senior Member simpleamazement's Avatar
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    Can you tell me why ESTP females respond to me so much more positively when they are in bars than in real life? Like in class, work, normal daytime stuff - then they act weird?

  7. #137
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zoom View Post
    *whistles innocently whilst poking Halla with a stick*

    *Does the same*

    Just think if Halla were Ann Landers, though...only a very small percentage of people would ever get a response...
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    I DOORSLAMMING

  8. #138
    Artisan Conquerer Halla74's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by simpleamazement View Post
    Can you tell me why ESTP females respond to me so much more positively when they are in bars than in real life? Like in class, work, normal daytime stuff - then they act weird?
    In vino veritas.

    "Truth in wine."

    Alcohol lowers inhibitions.

    People typically drink in bars, and not so much during normal daytime stuff.

    My tip for you. If a female (regardless of type, how do you reaslly know thier MBTI type in a bar?) reacts positively towards you in a bar, ask her out to do something some other time, after that evening out in the bar is done.

    She's in a positive mood, so ask her a question that you want to hear a "yes" answer to.

    If you mess up and don't ask her at that time, then when you see her next, be perky, smile, remind her of the good time you had talking at the bar, and ask her out to do something then. Make it fun. Go canoeing, biking, or something active. Get the adrenaline up and feel good together. That's the way to create a positive foundation with a woman and not come off like a creep.
    --------------------
    Type Stats:
    MBTI -> (E) 77.14% | (i) 22.86% ; (S) 60% | (n) 40% ; (T) 72.22% | (f) 27.78% ; (P) 51.43% | (j) 48.57%
    BIG 5 -> Extroversion 77% ; Accommodation 60% ; Orderliness 62% ; Emotional Stability 64% ; Open Mindedness 74%

    Quotes:
    "If somebody asks your MBTI type on a first date, run". -Donna Cecilia
    "Enneagram is psychological underpinnings. Cognitive Functions are mental reasoning and perceptional processes. -Sanjuro

  9. #139
    Artisan Conquerer Halla74's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    Ok Halla, I need some ESTP wisdom for a situation, please…
    Long overdue, sorry for the delay, here I am...

    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    A couple of months ago, I managed to piss off an ESTP (or maybe ESFP but haven’t figured it out. I think he is ESxP with a close T/F split but a bit stronger T.)
    Got it.

    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    Let’s be honest – this is the guy who I have posted a couple of threads about before, along the lines of “mixed messages/does he or doesn’t he like me” etc. Partly I was trying to figure out whether or not I should tell him about my feelings before he went away for six months, or possibly permanently, which he has now done.
    Got it again.

    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    Before taking this longer trip, he was away for about six weeks visiting family. During that time, a situation arose. Basically, he had confided in me (or gossiped to me) previously about some information that I wasn’t really entitled to but that someone else (who didn’t have the information at that point) was. I made the mistake of passing on that information to another mutual friend – who then passed it to the people who were entitled to it. Messy, messy, messy. Basically, this placed Mr ESxP in a very awkward position because he became known to have been in possession of this information and to have kept it from the people involved. (sorry for being so vague about this, but trying to explain it properly would be too difficult.)
    That's enough for me to comprehend what I need to, understood.

    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    I decided it was best to tell ESxP about this before he returned because he was definitely going to be confronted with the situation in some way, shape or form. I wanted to be honest with him. He was angry with me and accused me of betraying a confidence, more or less. Which was true, but he had kind of done a similar thing in passing on the info to me. It was a bit of a moral dilemma all around.
    You were right to tell him upfront upon his return.

    He was rude in how he responded to you, as he was the pot calling the kettle black.

    He believes in double standards, in dissonace, do as I say not as ido. Control freak 101.

    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    I was VERY careful to not take the high moral ground, or to accuse him, or whatever – I apologised for the way things had unfolded, but I also said I thought that perhaps it was for the best. He didn’t acknowledge my apology or the “for the best” aspect at all – he just said things which I found self-centered, accusatory and cruel. I got very upset, it didn’t really come out in my messages to him but after a few exchanges I stopped writing to him. I was extremely stressed and upset about the whole thing.
    He is an immature ass at this point. Flush him down the toilet like the turd he is.

    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    He was back for only about ten days before setting off on his current trip. He didn’t contact me at all for almost a week and then texted and asked if I was coming to his leaving drinks. I didn’t respond and wasn’t sure what to do, but eventually I went. I thought I would just show up and be polite, but he actually brought the matter up with me. He said “everything is ok, [ie. he had been confronted with the situation but it hadn’t gone too badly] but I’m still a bit annoyed.”
    He impicity forgave you. Once you forgive someone, the incident is over, and is not to be brought up in their face again, especially 2 seconds after they have been forgiven. His score is FAIL.

    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    That kind of raised my hackles particularly because I had already apologized more than once, perhaps more than I even should, in a way...did he want me to grovel? I said “do you realise I was very upset about your reaction and the whole situation?” and he said “well, if that’s the case, I apologise, but I don’t really know what you had to be upset about.” Then he said again “I’m still a bit annoyed” and I said “Likewise…” Then he said “I guess like you said, I shouldn’t have told you about it in the first place…let’s just forget about it.”
    Again, dissonance. He has a "I can do no wrong attitude" apparently and is fucking with your head with all this "I don't know what I did wrong" bullshit. He's immature. He might be suave, but he's immature, and selfish too.

    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    That was the last I saw of him. We did exchange a couple of goodbye texts but that was it. I am still upset because I didn’t get a chance to discuss the matter properly with him and I felt like he blamed the whole thing on me when he certainly had a measure of blame too, failed to see the bigger picture, and didn’t take my feelings about the matter and the way he’d dragged me into it into account at all. I also found it hard to believe that he didn’t realise I was upset or couldn’t see what I had to be upset about. I think it should have been pretty obvious.
    When an ox is walking through a salty marsh, and he steps on a mussel, and shatters its shell, and explodes its visceral organs out onto the grass, it feels nothing.

    Also, if he is an ESTP, he is emotionally retarded. I can say that without prejudice, as I am an ESTP, and I was emotionally retarded for many years, basically most of my adult life. Some of us are just "detached" and "aloof" without being hurtful, but others interpret our emotional flatness for being blunt. It seems this is his way, but he has a manipulative streak, and he obviously thnks he is hot shit, which makes him anything but. There is nothing like an ego to make an otherwise appealing person not appealing at all.

    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    I haven’t heard from him since he went away. I have heard from mutual friends that he is having a wonderful time travelling, etc and as much as this makes me the smaller person, all that does is irritate me and upset me. It seems typical that he would have left me feeling upset and he is off having a wonderful time. I know that’s my bad and I’m working on it, but I still feel resentful and upset.
    His agenda is: Me, me, me, me, me!

    You are not the smaller person for feeling irritated that he is off gallavanting about on his travels after leaving you hurt. You are hurt, you made all efforts necessary that a normal, good person would have to obtain closure about this simple and unfortunate occurrence of bad communication and simple acts of bad judgement between you and him.

    When I've tried to make my peace with people and it has not been possible I used to get really pissed about it. Now I chalk it up to their lack of character. Unfortunately, it seems you are internalizing it. I ask you to let it go. I ask you to forgive yourself, and to release your grip on this baggage, and move forward. You did everything you can, girl. You exercised due diligence. You did no wrong.

    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    I guess I’d like your input as to: a) whether or not you think he’s still mad at me or whether he really did “forget about it” and still considers me a friend;
    You are his friend so long as you interact with him on terms that are convenient for him. Got it? He is a manipulator and a punk.

    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    b) whether he is likely to realise that I am still upset; and
    Honestly, I think he does, and I think he has left as such as a means of leaving a hook in you, to have a way to set you off balance if he ever returns, so he can keep fucking with your head.

    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    c) any comments on what you think my next move should be. Your own opinion is fine, I am collecting opinions on this situation from a few people to get a bigger picture…that’s part of my way of working through this.
    Let it go. Learn from the experience. Don't release confidential information even if it was delivered by accident. If someone comes gossiping to you, let it end at your ears, do not relay it. People get fired for that, and friendships are burned that way. I am not saying this to be harsh, I am telling you the truth.

    Forgive yourself, please. Recognize him for the imperfect, self centered person that he is. he might be alot of fun, he might be good looking even, but there is only room in that man's heart for himself. His interactions with others are shallow from what I know of him.

    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    Part of me thinks I should write to him and explain the situation and my feelings about it and see how he responds. But another part thinks I should just let this go and do my best to forget about it.
    That's up to you!

    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    The thing is, I have always been vulnerable to this guy because of my feelings for him. I think we have established conclusively that we’d make a lousy couple and that he’s probably not interested anyway. So in a way, that’s no longer an issue, but my residual feelings make it an issue.
    You are bitter because you didn't get what you wanted. That's normal. That's human. Don't beat yourself up over it. Unfortunately we do not always have power of who our heart offers its allegiance to. Events like this allow us to fine tune it though. And if you had feelings for him for some time, then they will take some time to dissolve. Simple attraction theory. A one week realtionship is easy to get over. A one year relationship takes longer to walk away from.

    Outside of moving on, the best thing you can do is to change your patterns of behavior. Change the route you take t owork. Change what you do during your lunch hour. Change the folks you talk to, and get yourself into some new places to do new things. Hell, register for a class at a local college, even if its not for credit. Guess waht? You'll be changing your routine, you'll be keeping your mind busy, you'll be talking with new people, oh my...what's that...is it...Mr. Right? So this is where he's been hiding out...

    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    In a way, my dilemma is this: If I never try to discuss this with him, it may remain festering within me as unfinished business for quite a while, despite my efforts to just let it go. But if I do try to discuss it with him, I am afraid I’ll get another hurtful reaction which will wound me more. And also, trying to discuss it with him suggests that I want to keep the friendship alive – which I’m not even sure is a good idea at this point.
    (1) Make your final attempt at closure with him if YOU need to. Don't do it for him, do it if YOU need to. But don't have any expectations as to how he should handle it, or if you will hear back from him.

    (2) IMO, keeping your "friendship" alive with him is a bad idea. It's a one-sided friendship, that's whi I put it in quotes, its a friendship that is convenient for him, and hurtful to you. I am not friends with people that make me feel bad when I have done no wrong. No one is allowed to treat me that way. Do you see the utility in that?

    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    What do you think? Thanks in advance for your input!
    (1) I think you are a sweetheart.

    (2) I think he is an asshole.

    (3) I think you need to listen to Nancy Sinatra's "These Boots are Made for Walking", and imagine his skull underneath your nice new pair of black high heeled Italian boots.

    YouTube - NANCY SINATRA - THESE BOOTS ARE MADE FOR WALKING (Estas Botas Son Para Caminar)

    Good luck!



    -Halla
    --------------------
    Type Stats:
    MBTI -> (E) 77.14% | (i) 22.86% ; (S) 60% | (n) 40% ; (T) 72.22% | (f) 27.78% ; (P) 51.43% | (j) 48.57%
    BIG 5 -> Extroversion 77% ; Accommodation 60% ; Orderliness 62% ; Emotional Stability 64% ; Open Mindedness 74%

    Quotes:
    "If somebody asks your MBTI type on a first date, run". -Donna Cecilia
    "Enneagram is psychological underpinnings. Cognitive Functions are mental reasoning and perceptional processes. -Sanjuro

  10. #140
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    Quote Originally Posted by Halla74 View Post
    bad communication
    Quite honestly, I don't know what the fuck you really said in your post, but I do know that until you start saying just exactly what you mean in absolute black and white wording, others here (like me) will not communicate with you!

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