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Thread: ISFP and Goals

  1. #51
    Intriguing.... Quinlan's Avatar
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    ISFPs might want to be flexible so when the shit inevitably hits the fan we can glide right past and shrug it off.
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  2. #52

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    Quote Originally Posted by Quinlan View Post
    ISFPs might want to be flexible so when the shit inevitably hits the fan we can glide right past and shrug it off.
    Always an important factor to keep in mind.

  3. #53
    Carerra Lu IZthe411's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sunshinebrighter View Post
    Heck yeah. I had to learn how to be assertive. Most of the time I'm perfectly happy to go along with whatever the people around me want to do. But once in a while I went along with things that I was uncomfortable with. It was unhealthy.

    It is really hard to tell whether your girlfriend is hiding her goals from you or she really has none. Her not being clear on it is a bad sign. It means she is not totally comfortable with you. You may need to drop the subject and build her trust that you will not be imposing your views on how she should go about her life.

    It's hard to crack an ISFP. We are just too sensitive and shy.
    We are a work in progress. We've had a wierd relationship thus far, but I don't think it's based on something that's impossible to address. It's work, and it's a lot of communicating.

    I think with her it's more or the 'since it's clear or a given in my mind, there's no need to rehash it'. I try to tell her as a man, especially an ISTJ type- one who is very literal, that you cannot make assumptions about me or us and expect me to automatically be on the same page. And yes, when we first hooked up she came off as this tough girl, but I have grown to see, especially since now feelings are involved, she's ultra sensitive. It's been hard to accept and work with, especially since in my past I haven't had to deal wtih anyone with this type of sensitivity.

    I see it as a good thing for both of us. For her, it's the first time she's dealt with someone so intense as me. We are balancing each other out.

  4. #54
    Carerra Lu IZthe411's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Quinlan View Post
    ISFPs might want to be flexible so when the shit inevitably hits the fan we can glide right past and shrug it off.

    I think all types have this ability- it depends on how invested you are in what's hitting the fan. I may not be as flexible- being a J, but if I am prepared enough the impact isn't as bad. I'll care but not as much.

  5. #55
    Intriguing.... Quinlan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by IZthe411 View Post
    I think all types have this ability- it depends on how invested you are in what's hitting the fan. I may not be as flexible- being a J, but if I am prepared enough the impact isn't as bad. I'll care but not as much.
    You might be right, but that doesn't seem to have been my experience with Js, they sometimes seem to me less able/willing to adapt or accept changes or less than perfect outcomes.

    For me I think I am more skilled at controlling my reactions to the external world rather than trying to control the external world itself. One of the joys (curses?) of being an internal judger I suppose.
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  6. #56
    Carerra Lu IZthe411's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Quinlan View Post
    You might be right, but that doesn't seem to have been my experience with Js, they sometimes seem to me less able/willing to adapt or accept changes or less than perfect outcomes.

    For me I think I am more skilled at controlling my reactions to the external world rather than trying to control the external world itself.
    From that viewpoint- you are right. My preference is to have someone do things my way over me adapting to their way. It's very subjective, though. I think with SJs, it's a comfort thing. The more familiar you are with the various options, the more flexible you will be.

  7. #57

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    Quote Originally Posted by IZthe411 View Post
    From that viewpoint- you are right. My preference is to have someone do things my way over me adapting to their way. It's very subjective, though. I think with SJs, it's a comfort thing. The more familiar you are with the various options, the more flexible you will be.
    Trying to control the way something is done short circuits an SPs ability to improvise. To come up with tactics, to stamp themselves on the task. Doing something the same way all the time is as comfortable as a straitjacket. SP are more comfortable with a direction, an objective, and a few milestones along the way.

  8. #58
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    It kinda takes the fun out of it if everything is laid out from the beginning. You have to make mistakes and play around and tinker as you go and see what works (thinking about it, that play around part sounds terrible in the case of marriage ).
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  9. #59
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by IZthe411 View Post
    I see it as a good thing for both of us. For her, it's the first time she's dealt with someone so intense as me. We are balancing each other out.
    How this pretty much works is, if she truly wants to be balanced, then things will work out fine. You could help her in this area but she has to want to be helped. The thing is though when people want to be balanced they will state it so I can understand your concern that she hasn't. If she doesn't want to be balanced, then you're just buying time. Same goes for you. I'm sure you need balancing too.

    There is another option to balanced individuals though, and that is two people who compliments each other. It's like, where one person is weak the other is strong, and together, as a team, they have the spectrum covered. You defer to the other in the areas that they are stronger than you. This requires a higher level of trust, dependency, humility and cooperation. My guess is you don't want that though. It seems like you wish for her to be balanced, and you to be balanced and you two go through life together as balanced individuals.

  10. #60
    Carerra Lu IZthe411's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wolfy View Post
    Trying to control the way something is done short circuits an SPs ability to improvise. To come up with tactics, to stamp themselves on the task. Doing something the same way all the time is as comfortable as a straitjacket. SP are more comfortable with a direction, an objective, and a few milestones along the way.
    That's fine, but I get a sick feeling when it seems that people are sitting on their butt and are kicked to action late in the game.

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