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Thread: ISFP and Goals

  1. #21
    brainheart
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    Again, as I said, we with inferior Te have a rough time beginning and maintaining our tasks. Our brains don't work like yours does. So why not help her- I mean guiding vs. telling. You don't expect her to be just like you, do you?

  2. #22
    Member KarliJoanne's Avatar
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    I'm sorry, but when I read your question the first thing I thought was, this is all about you and not her. Do you love this girl? It seems like if you love her, you should be most concerned if her lack of goals keep her from being happy and feeling good about herself and how you can help and encourage her, instead of thinking she may not be a suitable marriage partner for you. Maybe I just don't understand TJs but it just seems like such a cold question.

  3. #23
    Intriguing.... Quinlan's Avatar
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    I don't really have goals, they're more like guidelines really.
    Act your age not your enneagram number.

    Quinlan's Creations

  4. #24
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KarliJoanne View Post
    I'm sorry, but when I read your question the first thing I thought was, this is all about you and not her. Do you love this girl? It seems like if you love her, you should be most concerned if her lack of goals keep her from being happy and feeling good about herself and how you can help and encourage her, instead of thinking she may not be a suitable marriage partner for you. Maybe I just don't understand TJs but it just seems like such a cold question.
    I second this post. This sounds like it's more about you than her, what you're thinking about. If your girlfriend has accomplished everything that she wants to in life and she's happy, then why bother her with it? If she gets bored then I'm sure she will find something to do.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

  5. #25
    Senior Member nynesneg's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KarliJoanne View Post
    I'm sorry, but when I read your question the first thing I thought was, this is all about you and not her. Do you love this girl? It seems like if you love her, you should be most concerned if her lack of goals keep her from being happy and feeling good about herself and how you can help and encourage her, instead of thinking she may not be a suitable marriage partner for you. Maybe I just don't understand TJs but it just seems like such a cold question.
    Well I'm not a TJ, but I can completely relate to his concern. I'm a very goal oriented J, so my passion/desire for growth is a huge part of who I am. This is why it could be an issue for some. Although it's something I would have considered before dating the person in the first place.

    I am very intrigued with your perspectives. It seems so foreign to me to not care at all about goals, but obviously everybody's different. Part of what I enjoy about this forum.
    3w2


    Those who are content being normal lack the depth and passion to rise above mediocracy.
    To push beyond their natural abilities and create a reality from their dreams.

  6. #26
    Senior Member Ruthie's Avatar
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    I could understand needing to know another person's goals before marriage to make sure both of you are on the same page. For instance, if one of you wants children and the other doesn't - that's pretty important to know up front. Or if one of you wants to move to New Zealand and raise sheep, while the other has dreamed about a Madison Avenue job since childhood - yeah, important to know.

    But as long as one person's goals don't interfere with the other's, what difference does it make?

  7. #27
    Senior Member nynesneg's Avatar
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    Just the fact that they have goals, any goals, even if contrary to your own... It's the action of working towards them that need. You could describe it as the verb is the thing you desire in common with that person, as opposed to a noun thing.
    3w2


    Those who are content being normal lack the depth and passion to rise above mediocracy.
    To push beyond their natural abilities and create a reality from their dreams.

  8. #28
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    Classic J vs P conflict right there.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

  9. #29
    Senior Member nynesneg's Avatar
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    Blackcat, you genius... gosh stop making fun of me because you figured me out so fast. :P jk

    The weird thing is, I don't see that as much of a conflict in my own life. ISFP bf has a general plan for where he wants to be kinda, ENFP friend has accomplished lots, ESTP guy is very successful in business and wants to be more...
    3w2


    Those who are content being normal lack the depth and passion to rise above mediocracy.
    To push beyond their natural abilities and create a reality from their dreams.

  10. #30
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nynesneg View Post
    Blackcat, you genius... gosh stop making fun of me because you figured me out so fast. :P jk

    The weird thing is, I don't see that as much of a conflict in my own life. ISFP bf has a general plan for where he wants to be kinda, ENFP friend has accomplished lots, ESTP guy is very successful in business and wants to be more...
    You're fine because your P friends have goals/have accomplished things. My ENFJ mom used to go crazy in trying to get me to do ANYTHING, she wanted me to do clubs in school, do extra curricular activities, etc, but I just didn't care. Would drive her totally crazy. She got better when I discussed what I wanted to do with myself though.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

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