[ESTP] Quiet ESTP's

[Benny]

Are there quiet/reserved ESTPs or does that just mean they're ISTPs?

I know a couple of definite STPs who are charming, very confident, like to go out every night, are always chasing girls, and very good at promoting themselves.

However, they are not usually very outgoing or friendly at all unless they have been drinking. Usually they're described as quiet and reserved while still being all the things I listed above.

 

[Halla74]

Are there quiet/reserved ESTPs or does that just mean they're ISTPs?

I know a couple of definite STPs who are charming, very confident, like to go out every night, are always chasing girls, and very good at promoting themselves.

However, they are not usually very outgoing or friendly at all unless they have been drinking. Usually they're described as quiet and reserved while still being all the things I listed above.

I can't imagine an ESTP being quiet. If I am just entering into a situation, I will sit back and listen in order to assess who's who and what's going on, but after that I'm barreling ahead at full speed. I'm sure there is alot of variance in the ESTP type, as in all others, but would be surprised if the "quiet" ones were more in number than an outlier.

I know some damn lively introverts. Not all are silent wallflowers, some are truly hilarious and vocal but at times of their choosing, as opposed to by default, like their extrovert cousins...

 

[sLiPpY]

Most people don't recognize me as being an introvert. A quiet ESTP?

 

[Halla74]

Most people don't recognize me as being an introvert. A quiet ESTP?

Exactly. It just SOUNDS strange! :horor:

 

[TickTock]

I can't imagine an ESTP being quiet. If I am just entering into a situation, I will sit back and listen in order to assess who's who and what's going on, but after that I'm barreling ahead.

I've noticed this with ESTPs. Could you explain more, about what you're reading and what you look for?

 

[Sinmara]

If I am just entering into a situation, I will sit back and listen in order to assess who's who and what's going on, but after that I'm barreling ahead at full speed.

I went through the bother of registering an account and blahbitty blah blah to say that I am the same way. A direct quote from a biography I wrote for a dating site:

"Upon first meeting me, people typically say I'm pretty quiet, closed off and generally unreadable, but that's only because I'm observing and getting a feel for you. Once I decide that I like you, you're going to be shocked all to hell with the personality flip-flop because I am loud, I am crude, and as much as you might wish I would, I absolutely will not shut up."

And also!

"People always think that I'm shy, quiet, reserved, even stuck up when they first meet me. If appear to be acting this way, more often than not, it's only because a) I'm in a setting or situation that is making me uncomfortable or b) I'm unsure about you and I'm hanging back to learn more about you before I decide if I like you or not."

What I forgot to include (and will probably edit to add) is that if I appear to be quiet, it's because I have my Tact Filter on. (Come to think of it, this actually falls under "uncomfortable situation.") I will blurt out the most amazingly inappropriate things (that I think are hilarious, but what can you do) and have learned that if I'm not sure whether what I'm about to say is going to go over well with present company, and more importantly, I actually care about whether or not I offend said company, it's easier just to just keep my trap shut. I'm being quiet because I'm deciding whether the person or people I'm talking to can handle me or not. I'm trying to be considerate, see?

 

[Halla74]

I've noticed this with ESTPs. Could you explain more, about what you're reading and what you look for?

LOOK BELOW...

I went through the bother of registering an account and blahbitty blah blah to say that I am the same way. A direct quote from a biography I wrote for a dating site:

"Upon first meeting me, people typically say I'm pretty quiet, closed off and generally unreadable, but that's only because I'm observing and getting a feel for you. Once I decide that I like you, you're going to be shocked all to hell with the personality flip-flop because I am loud, I am crude, and as much as you might wish I would, I absolutely will not shut up."

And also!

"People always think that I'm shy, quiet, reserved, even stuck up when they first meet me. If appear to be acting this way, more often than not, it's only because a) I'm in a setting or situation that is making me uncomfortable or b) I'm unsure about you and I'm hanging back to learn more about you before I decide if I like you or not."

What I forgot to include (and will probably edit to add) is that if I appear to be quiet, it's because I have my Tact Filter on. (Come to think of it, this actually falls under "uncomfortable situation.") I will blurt out the most amazingly inappropriate things (that I think are hilarious, but what can you do) and have learned that if I'm not sure whether what I'm about to say is going to go over well with present company, and more importantly, I actually care about whether or not I offend said company, it's easier just to just keep my trap shut. I'm being quiet because I'm deciding whether the person or people I'm talking to can handle me or not. I'm trying to be considerate, see?

^THIS!!! +1!

 

[entropie]

Man and I thought I have issues

 

[Halla74]

Man and I thought I have issues

You do. There will be a self-help workbook out for it next week,. Inside its cover a small hammer will be imbedded in the text. Pull it out and beat yourself over the head with it, and your current problems will subside as new pain manifests.

I really hope they come out with an ESTP workbook soon. Haaa!!!

 

[entropie]

Main Theme: "There is no cure for petting"

 

[Sinmara]

^THIS!!! +1!

Haha glad I could help!

Main Theme: "There is no cure for petting"

Oh but petting cures so many things!

 

[une_autre]

I wouldn't exactly call myself quiet and reserved.
Halla phrased it very well, I need to evaluate the situation first and the amount of tine needed for that will vary.
People have told me that I have a very strong personality after seeing me two times.
Other have said that I seem shy after the same amount of time.

Eventually, most of them get to the conclusion that I am not shy at all, that is, if I they are given the chance to meet me more than twice.
However, I can be quite withdrawn and cold with people I don't like, regardless of how much time I spend with them.

 

[Halla74]

Eventually, most of them get to the conclusion that I am not shy at all, that is, if I they are given the chance to meet me more than twice.

Exactly. Part of being a good socializer is knowing when to jump into a conversation. If I let the totality of my personality out at once, it would most likely scare many away unecessarily. I don't hold back, as in filter myself, I would never, but I do know wait for the right time to become "active," and once that starts it never ends.

However, I can be quite withdrawn and cold with people I don't like, regardless of how much time I spend with them.

Very nicely put! Oh my. I am SO guilty of this one. I do not fake liking people that I dislike well at all, so I've never done it. The most humane thing for me to do around those I don't favor is to remain silent. If I do choose to speak it will most likely be impolite.

 

[Sinmara]

I do not fake liking people that I dislike well at all, so I've never done it. The most humane thing for me to do around those I don't favor is to remain silent. If I do choose to speak it will most likely be impolite.

Yes!

When I decide that I don't like someone, I stop talking to them. Simple enough, doesn't cause further issues as long as I keep my snarky mouth shut.

If I have a falling out and someone does wrong by me, I absolutely do not put up with it. I have zero tolerance for people who screw with me. I slam the relationship door in their face and they pretty much cease to exist to me. I can be in the same room with them and never so much as glance at them. Even when I look at them, I look through them. I'm told the feeling of stone cold ice bitch I radiate in these situations is chilling and my friends tell me they are SO VERY HAPPY that they are not on my bad side, lol.

But then I love my friends ridiculously and shower them with attention and buy them random Just Because gifts and have snuggly cuddle piles with them.

No wonder I confuse people.

 

[TickTock]

LOOK BELOW...



^THIS!!! +1!

Cool. What I expected. I wondered if there was some mystery behind the cogs. It's a very controlled assesment from what Ive seen.

 

[Mort Belfry]

However, they are not usually very outgoing or friendly at all unless they have been drinking.

Given that it's ESTPs we're talking about I'm assuming they're drunk all the time - which isn't totally out of character.

 

[Halla74]

Yes!

When I decide that I don't like someone, I stop talking to them. Simple enough, doesn't cause further issues as long as I keep my snarky mouth shut.

If I have a falling out and someone does wrong by me, I absolutely do not put up with it. I have zero tolerance for people who screw with me. I slam the relationship door in their face and they pretty much cease to exist to me. I can be in the same room with them and never so much as glance at them. Even when I look at them, I look through them. I'm told the feeling of stone cold ice bitch I radiate in these situations is chilling and my friends tell me they are SO VERY HAPPY that they are not on my bad side, lol.

But then I love my friends ridiculously and shower them with attention and buy them random Just Because gifts and have snuggly cuddle piles with them.

No wonder I confuse people.

Muhaaaa. The counseling term for shutting people out of your existence (even if they are right in front of you) is "STONEWALLING." It is not nice, but it works reeeeally well. Cease to exist is a great way to put it, I can turn people off the instant they prove worthy of being considered ilk by my standards.

Cool. What I expected. I wondered if there was some mystery behind the cogs. It's a very controlled assesment from what Ive seen.

Yes, very controlled, very rational, and very consistent. We have nerves of steel and are thinking of 500 things to solve your reaction to what is currently coming out of our mouths 2 seconds before we say anything. We want one of three things generally: (1) The upper hand, (2) To do whatever it is we're doing and move on to something fun, or (3) To entertain everyone around us and start a party.

Given that it's ESTPs we're talking about I'm assuming they're drunk all the time - which isn't totally out of character.

WRONG, Sir. We are drunk MOST of the time. I rise each morning with a double of chilled Grey Goose, but quickly move on to crushing up about 4 Adderall and snorting them, then I have a cup of coffee (decaf., do you think I'm some kind of idiot?), and a sip or two of orange juice. Once the OJ hits my belly I then usually break out my gravity bong and take about 4-5 hits of chronic. On my way out the door while chugging down chilled water from my Brita I eat half a Xanax and 2 Vicodin with 2 Sudafed so my sinuses stay clear and open.

Get it straight, Mort!

Meanwhile the INTPs wake up and do a quick rectal douche with some Massengill, take 2 Midol, 3 Pamprin, and a couple of Valerian root capsules to take the edge off...

 

[une_autre]

Yes!

When I decide that I don't like someone, I stop talking to them. Simple enough, doesn't cause further issues as long as I keep my snarky mouth shut.

If I have a falling out and someone does wrong by me, I absolutely do not put up with it. I have zero tolerance for people who screw with me. I slam the relationship door in their face and they pretty much cease to exist to me. I can be in the same room with them and never so much as glance at them. Even when I look at them, I look through them. I'm told the feeling of stone cold ice bitch I radiate in these situations is chilling and my friends tell me they are SO VERY HAPPY that they are not on my bad side, lol.

But then I love my friends ridiculously and shower them with attention and buy them random Just Because gifts and have snuggly cuddle piles with them.

No wonder I confuse people.

I had an experience of this sort very recently. After having to put up with some guys (one of them being the protagonist of a recent thread of mine) I ended up having my behaviour labeled as "strange", probably because I didn't fall for their crap. After a couple of disputes regarding this, which culminated with an utter lack of respect from their side, I turned my back on them and left them in the middle of the street, literally.
Next time we had a conversation, I couldn't refrain myself from being a bitch and ignored them ever since.
That's what happens if you get on my nerves.
But most of the time, I'd rather save my neurons (I don't want to consume them on getting mad uselessly) and be about as communicative as a stone when it comes to people like that.

 

[Argus]

I have an ESTP friend that as very quite and reserved.
He doesn't party at all. In fact my friends and I all decided that he has the least amount of party animal instinct of us all.

He's just a nice, easy-going guy. But still an ESTP, maybe in ISFP, but probably an ESTP.

 

[phinny5608]

I've noticed this in ESTPs. Some of them are non-stop talkers, but some seem to have developed a suaveness where they know when to talk and when not to talk. Sometimes this seems to mean they don't talk much at all, but are still definitely extraverts.

It's also so weird to see the odd contrast between how they nonchalantly deal with the constant circus that can sometimes surround an ESTP and then the quiet secluded moments where they hate even hearing their cell phone go off. You'd almost think they prefered to be alone, but then they're right back at it.