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[ISFP] ISFP who lacks empathy?

Grungemouse

Widdles in your cream.
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I'm seeing an ISFP. Well, at least I was sure I typed her correctly. She's definitely an ISP, but she lacks the sharp precision in thought that I associate with ITP types. But anyway.

She keeps going on about how she "just doesn't understand people, nor feel like trying to sometimes", or how she finds it easier to feign concern online, because it's so much easier to type than speak; she calls them "shallow words". It seems like she almost brags about how uncaring and unromantic she is. Unimpressed INTP is unimpressed.

I hear about how ISFPs are naturally empathetic people, and she sounds quite the contrary. I'm guessing that it is possible for an ISFP to behave this way, with a highly developed Fi but underdeveloped Se to gather information from people, resulting in a self-centred person. When we're talking, her input is always revolved around herself, rather than asking about me. She loves to talk about herself.

I dunno. This might sound odd, but perhaps she's telling me this as a form of verbal armour? As in, she's actually a soft and caring individual, but because she knows I'm not, she's BSing me in order to save face and avoid getting hurt?

She could be an ISTP, but I'm still confident that she's an ISFP.
 
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I don't know if this is common for ISFPs myself, but I know someone an ISFP who definitely lacks empathy. maybe in a different way than your ISFP, in that she does not show empathy when (from my perspective) it is "required", meaning when I'm obviously sad (crying). she just does not REACT upon it, doesn't do anything to console me.... mh...different from what you described anyways....
 

wolfy

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How much an ISFP empathises is exaggerated in the descriptions. Look at the people who are typed as ISFP, famous people. They are not famous for there empathy, that is the INFP.

For a real world example, I don't really empathise with you and your situation. But it gave me a chance to express something I wanted to on ISFP and their ability to empathise. Thank you.
 

Grungemouse

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I thought as much. Thanks for the input, and glad I could give you the opportunity to post about the matter.
 

BlackCat

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Yeah I can't say that I relate to who you're seeing. I'm empathetic, I use what I have observed of the person and take context into consideration to do this. Maybe you're correct about her trying to "armor herself" verbally to not get hurt.
 

Tyrant

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Sounds like complete and utter disowning of Fi. You've probably more than likely mistyped this person. Mind you, this is only based on the OP, I could be completely off base.
 

wolfy

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I thought as much. Thanks for the input, and glad I could give you the opportunity to post about the matter.

As for the armour part... It's possible she feels a need to make the situation better and she uses techniques to do so. The techniques and mechanics she uses feel duplicitous to her. Then she feels a need to express this feeling, which she hides behind a kind of detached cynicism.
 

BlackCat

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Sounds like complete and utter disowning of Fi. You've probably more than likely mistyped this person. Mind you, this is only based on the OP, I could be completely off base.

Yeah, basically.
 

Grungemouse

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Yeah, basically.

Hmm. So what you're saying is that an ISFP can't become a self-centred vacuum of Fi+Ni in the same way an INTP is prone to the similar Ti+Si?

If that's the case, I probably have mistyped her. Only I wouldn't want to imply that all ISTPs fit her description. I think I'll take a peak at the ISTP female threads.
 

wolfy

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I don't feel ISFP are any more empathic than other types. I don't feel I am that empathic. Rather than empathise I want to solve the situation. Right away.
 

BlackCat

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Hmm. So what you're saying is that an ISFP can't become a self-centred vacuum of Fi+Ni in the same way an INTP is prone to the similar Ti+Si?

Well of course they could... but this sounds a bit extreme. I dunno.

What makes you think she is Fi?
 

Thalassa

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Unhealthy Fi can be very selfish, or like some others have said, she could be using it as protective armor.

I wonder if she has more empathy for characters in movies or books than she does for people she meets in real life. That could totally be a fucked up case of Fi.
 

Quinlan

Intriguing....
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Sounds like Fi disowning Fe more than anything.

I don't know if this is common for ISFPs myself, but I know someone an ISFP who definitely lacks empathy. maybe in a different way than your ISFP, in that she does not show empathy when (from my perspective) it is "required", meaning when I'm obviously sad (crying). she just does not REACT upon it, doesn't do anything to console me.... mh...different from what you described anyways....

Fi does not react or respond according to external requirements or what it's "supposed" to feel.

When someone I know is obviously sad it sets me back, I know how I feel about it but have no idea how to react. Fi is the "weird" part of feeling, it expresses in unconventional ways where it's possible they show great warmth for things you're not "supposed" to and great coldness at inappropriate times.

Remember ISFPs have this:

Introverted Feeling: Valuing; considering importance and worth; reviewing for incongruity; evaluating something based on the truths on which it is based; clarifying values to achieve accord; deciding if something is of significance and worth standing up for. Evaluating whether you like an outfit or not: “This outfit suits me and feels right.”

Not this:

Extraverted Feeling: Connecting; considering others and the group—organizing to meet their needs and honor their values and feelings; maintaining societal, organizational, or group values; adjusting to and accommodating others; deciding if something is appropriate or acceptable to others. Considering what would be appropriate for the situation: “One should or shouldn’t wear…” or “People will think…”

Fi isn't really cuddles and rainbows.
 

Grungemouse

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Well of course they could... but this sounds a bit extreme. I dunno.

What makes you think she is Fi?


I think she is Fi in the sense that she's very in-tune with her own emotions and values them highly. She manages them, but in a raw fashion; rather than intellectualising them (or is that a JiNe thing?) she simply acts on them, "because she felt like it". I'll quote her:

[...]when I get those types of "wtf" feelings (rarely), I get angry. Because they don't make sense. And feelings should make sense. At least in my book they should. Now I am not making sense. I'll stop before I dig a bigger hole XD.
 

Thalassa

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That is a very poor description of Extraverted Feeling.

What would be a better one?

I know an ISFP who can be strangely callous and unsympathetic, and then turn around and have deep sensitivity for certain kinds of suffering and wanting to help others. (And I know he has Fi because he's very in touch with his own anger/sadness/happiness/displeasure what have you, and is extremely proud of his profound sense of "feeling himself.") Fi creates it's own sense of value, and that doesn't always match the "appropriate" times like Wolfy said.

I also know someone who I am convinced is an ExFP, and he can be very emotional and he's kind of a hippie and uses a lot of emoticons in his emails and can be very generous when he wants to be. He can also be a total prick of he doesn't understand why you're upset about a certain thing. He'll sympathize with you if he can see your point of view, but if he can't understand why something hurts you, he'll just be like "get over it" which seems like more of a T thing to do, but I don't think he's a T from his other behavior.
 

BlackCat

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I think she is Fi in the sense that she's very in-tune with her own emotions and values them highly. She manages them, but in a raw fashion; rather than intellectualising them (or is that a JiNe thing?) she simply acts on them, "because she felt like it". I'll quote her:

Lol yeah. I think that maybe she's an odd ISFP.

What do you actually want to know though? Did you just want some clarity?
 

Grungemouse

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Lol yeah. I think that maybe she's an odd ISFP.

What do you actually want to know though? Did you just want some clarity?

Odd but in an adorable way.

I only wanted some clarity on whether I was right in assuming that ISFPs can lack empathy/compassion/etc, yes.
 

wolfy

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She doesn't sound that odd to me.

This sounds very Fi to me

I think she is Fi in the sense that she's very in-tune with her own emotions and values them highly. She manages them, but in a raw fashion; rather than intellectualising them.

If it's going to get all cuddles and rainbows over here then I'm moving to ISTP land.
 
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