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  1. #61
    Senior Member countrygirl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ayoitsStepho View Post
    NO FREAKIN WAY!

    I'm not alone!!!!
    I was actually trying to figure out my husband, ISTP by the way, and decided to read about some other types.

    On test I come out as an ISFJ, but my lifestlye, my everyday life does not reflect this.

    When I read the ISFP profile, it just clicked with me.

  2. #62
    Twerking & Lurking ayoitsStepho's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by countrygirl View Post
    I was actually trying to figure out my husband, ISTP by the way, and decided to read about some other types.

    On test I come out as an ISFJ, but my lifestlye, my everyday life does not reflect this.

    When I read the ISFP profile, it just clicked with me.
    That happened to me too. I tested as an ISFJ, but I really couldnt connect with it. lol I thought I was a loser because of it. Seriously, I almost got upset at the discription xD
    But when I actually looked for myself, i realised I was an ISFP. I looked up all this stuff just to be sure and bam, I got it.

    So welcome to the ISFP circle. Its small, I think smaller than ISFJ on this forum, so I'm converting people
    Quote Originally Posted by MacGuffin View Post
    ayoitsStepho is becoming someone else. Actually her true self, a rite of passage.

  3. #63
    Senior Member compulsiverambler's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wolfy View Post
    I think I empathise more than I sympathise. And that leads me to want to solve the source of discomfort, to alleviate it in some way.

    It really is just me. I'm quite reserved in general. I've sometimes been accused of not caring by the more expressive types.
    I do think this is likely an Fi-dom thing. I have had the same problem. And what Quinlan said rang very true for me as well. As a child I had rogue empathy. I was constantly attributing human experiences to inanimate objects, and I was better at knowing how to not hurt people's feelings than most children, and avoided doing so to my own detriment more than most, yet I did and do get accused of a lack of empathy or caring, mainly by Fe types, because it doesn't come naturally to me to socially express emotion all the time on cue and on demand. I don't like to bring (force) feelings out into the open that aren't leaking out of their own accord.

    It's easier for me to process emotion by capturing and examining it in one place, under a microscope, privately, not when by immediately sharing it and so inviting outside interference. Because it doesn't come naturally I also worry that doing so will only look quite obviously forced and uncomfortable anyway. I'm also very poor at keeping emotions inside when they are pushing their way out, but not necessarily because I don't want to suppress them as much as other people do, as men sometimes think is the case for women. Sometimes, for example at work or school situations, I desperately want to keep them secret, they just overpower my defences anyway.
    Last edited by compulsiverambler; 11-07-2009 at 07:30 AM. Reason: INanimate...

  4. #64
    Senior Member compulsiverambler's Avatar
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    Fe preferrers I think deliberately mine their own emotional reserves when the social situation calls for it. I think Fi users prefer to deal with it as it comes, not to play with any emotion before we understand it. We see feelings as something complicated and potentially destructive that should be respected. What Fe users do (encouraging each other to dig and dig for more shared feeling) seems like poking a lion with a stick to make it roar. At least, that's how I feel. Sometimes I feel it so strongly I want to rebel against Fe expectations, when they start to seem self-indulgent, irresponsible and oppressive. The kind of social game that tabloids encourage. Maybe that's what happened with the person in the OP, and what you're seeing isn't a rejection of Fi, but a protest against Fe.

  5. #65

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    Quote Originally Posted by compulsiverambler View Post
    I do think this is likely an Fi-dom thing. I have had the same problem. And what Quinlan said rang very true for me as well. As a child I had rogue empathy. I was constantly attributing human experiences to animate objects, and I was better at knowing how to not hurt people's feelings than most children, and avoided doing so to my own detriment more than most, yet I did and do get accused of a lack of empathy or caring, mainly by Fe types, because it doesn't come naturally to me to socially express emotion all the time on cue and on demand. I don't like to bring (force) feelings out into the open that aren't leaking out of their own accord.
    I think you are on the right track here. I was reading this thread Empathy and Sympathy

    This quote by Jenocyde cleared it up for me

    " 'Sympathy' and 'empathy' refer to two distinct and complex psychological capacities that have quite distinct meanings. Nevertheless, philosophers and psychologists have had tremendous difficulty keeping the two concepts distinct. Since the classic works by Max Scheler on sympathy and by Edith Stein on empathy, theorists have been trying to define the terms by supposing empathy is merely a type of sympathy... In empathy, the self is the vehicle for understanding, and it never loses its identity. Sympathy, on the other hand, is concerned with communion rather than accuracy, and self-awareness is reduced rather than enhanced. In empathy, one person reaches out for the other person, whereas in sympathy the sympathizer is moved by the other person... To know what something would be like for the other person is empathy. To know what it would be like to be that person is sympathy. In empathy one acts "as if" one were the other person. (Rogers, 1957, p. 3) In sympathy one is the other person. (Macfie, 1959, p. 213). The object of empathy is understanding. The object of sympathy is the other person's well-being. In sum, sympathy is a way of relating."
    Sympathy and empathy
    Irene Switankowsky. Philosophy Today. Celina: Spring 2000. Vol. 44, Iss. 1; pg. 86, 7 pgs
    It seems there is no need to express empathy. It is not that we block empathy, it is just that we experience it and don't always feel the need to express it.

  6. #66
    Senior Member countrygirl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wolfy View Post
    I think you are on the right track here. I was reading this thread Empathy and Sympathy

    This quote by Jenocyde cleared it up for me....It seems there is no need to express empathy. It is not that we block empathy, it is just that we experience it and don't always feel the need to express it.
    That right. Since there is no need to discuss ourselves. But, if sympathy is needed, we show our concern because it is about the other person.

  7. #67
    Senior Member countrygirl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ayoitsStepho View Post
    That happened to me too. I tested as an ISFJ, but I really couldnt connect with it. lol I thought I was a loser because of it. Seriously, I almost got upset at the discription xD
    But when I actually looked for myself, i realised I was an ISFP. I looked up all this stuff just to be sure and bam, I got it.

    So welcome to the ISFP circle. Its small, I think smaller than ISFJ on this forum, so I'm converting people
    LOL. Glad to be converted! It is hard being this different from society with no need to fit in.

  8. #68
    Senior Member Bamboo's Avatar
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    To the OP

    Quote Originally Posted by Grungemouse View Post
    I'm seeing an INFP. Well, at least I was sure I typed her correctly. She's definitely an INP, but she lacks the sharp precision in thought that I associate with ITP types.

    She keeps going on at very great length about how she "just doesn't understand people, nor feel like trying to sometimes", or how she finds it easier to feign concern in a variety of situations, because it's so much easier to fake it instead of saying what she means; she calls them "shallow words". It seems like she almost brags about how uncaring and unromantic she is. Unimpressed ISTP is unimpressed.

    I hear about how INFPs are naturally empathetic people, and she sounds quite the contrary. I'm guessing that it is possible for an IFP to behave this way, with a highly developed Fi but underdeveloped Ne to gather information from people, resulting in a self-centred person. When we're talking, her input is always revolved around herself, rather than asking about me. She loves to talk about herself. All the time, at great length. She turned out to be extremely self centered.

    This doesn't sound odd, but she is telling me this as a form of verbal armour. As in, she's actually a soft and caring individual, but she's overcompensating inorder to save face and avoid getting hurt.

    She could be an INTP, but I'm still confident that she's an INFP.

    Fixed to reflect my own first hand experience. Nearly the same thing.

    INFP, INTP, ISFP, ISTP, whatever, she's more than likely a very self centered, insecure, unhappy person.

    She was fun (beyond all the bad stuff), but ultimately her insecurity and neediness became really uncomfortable. And she made very little effort to meet my needs, maybe 15% to my 65% (it wasn't a long lived situation).

    If you want to go down that road, it's your call, I don't know the details of your situation and she might be only slightly self centered and insecure, making it more bearable. But I'd move on to better things. It stung a little, but a week or so later, I was happy I did.
    Don't know how much it'll bend til it breaks.

  9. #69
    Senior Member Bamboo's Avatar
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    As an aside, my view on ISFPs have changed as a result of this thread.

    I've frequently considered if I'm more ISTP or ISFP. I test strong T (65-70%).

    Of course, I'm probably a little of both. I'm not a conglomeration of four letters.
    Don't know how much it'll bend til it breaks.

  10. #70
    Widdles in your cream.
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    Hm? Oh, she isn't insecure at all. She is in fact more laid back than I am.

    We had a conversation earlier this week, and I couldn't help but dabble into the topic again. I tried to keep it light-hearted, but I think she picked up on my disapproval. She said:

    I am secretly caring. There are a few people who I wouldn't mind snuggling up to and giving some TLC to. [Friend's name] always needs a dose of love. Mama [Her name] can be motherly. Interwebs makes it so easy to like people. All the things I like about them, with none of the embarresing interactions.
    Honestly? She lacks the fluid Ne on Ne conversation I have with other NP types, plus she doesn't speculate half as much as us. She just dives straight in.

    ETA: I'm sorry to hear about your rough experience with an INFP. I think the main problem with IFP/ITP relationships is the dom-Fi/inferior-Fe clashing.
    Um, yeah.

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