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[ESTP] ESTP Relationships - What do ESTPs look for in romantic relationships?

Athenian200

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I don't think ESTPs consciously look for romantic relationships. I think they look for short-term partners and try to vary things up, and then somehow accidentally end up in a relationship they like when they stumble across the right person.

That's what I've gathered, at least. I've often heard people I would type as ESTPs saying things like, "I don't know, it just... happened. It was like lightning."
 
R

Riva

Guest
I don't think ESTPs consciously look for romantic relationships. I think they look for short-term partners and try to vary things up, and then somehow accidentally end up in a relationship they like when they stumble across the right person.

That's what I've gathered, at least. I've often heard people I would type as ESTPs saying things like, "I don't know, it just... happened. It was like lightning."

I agree with Athenian.

This is exactly what my ESTP sister does. And i could imagine other ESTPs doing the same thing.

She cannot without experience understand ANYONE. If she has a bad experience with someone she would kick them good bye. but until/unless that happens she is all friendly with them. (not in a ESFP way).

^ is her friends.

When she chooses dates -
pretty much what Athenian 200 said.
 

Grungemouse

Widdles in your cream.
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I don't think ESTPs consciously look for romantic relationships. I think they look for short-term partners and try to vary things up, and then somehow accidentally end up in a relationship they like when they stumble across the right person.

That's what I've gathered, at least. I've often heard people I would type as ESTPs saying things like, "I don't know, it just... happened. It was like lightning."


Perhaps this is a general TP thing? This happens to me a lot. In fact, it's happened again. I started university with a sense of, "I'm only here to learn; I have no interest in pursuing a romantic relationship for the time being". Fast forward a couple of weeks, and I'm now going out with an ISFP. I can honestly not figure out what happened. It happened in a flash.

Hmm. Until I can put my finger on it, maybe I'll just call it "The Artisan Effect". :D
 

Twixt

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Hmm okay thank you :) But what characteristics would make the ESTP stop and go - hang on, this girl/guy might be the one for me...!
 

Halla74

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I don't think ESTPs consciously look for romantic relationships. I think they look for short-term partners and try to vary things up, and then somehow accidentally end up in a relationship they like when they stumble across the right person.

That's what I've gathered, at least. I've often heard people I would type as ESTPs saying things like, "I don't know, it just... happened. It was like lightning."

AND...

I agree with Athenian.

This is exactly what my ESTP sister does. And i could imagine other ESTPs doing the same thing.

She cannot without experience understand ANYONE. If she has a bad experience with someone she would kick them good bye. but until/unless that happens she is all friendly with them. (not in a ESFP way).

^ is her friends.

When she chooses dates -
pretty much what Athenian 200 said.

You are both wrong.

What do ESTPs look for in romantic relationships? I'd say we look for the same things that any other human being does: Love, sex, companionship, friendship, etc.

Regarding the notion of "consciously looking for a romantic relationship", I think that sounds a little strange, if not creepy. It's one thing to love yourself and be at peace with yourself and have an open heart that is available to giving and receiving love. It's quite another to "consciously look for a romantic relationship." That sounds like stalking, and that is not very ESTP at all.

We meet so many people due to our highly developed social skills that we probably have an easier time than most other types of finding someone that arouses all the right attraction/curiousity/feelings/interest/etc. So, if we are available, odds are we will find someone to date, and if things work out then maybe it will turn into a LTR, or marriage.

Athenian, I never, ever in my life "looked for short term partners." I have very high standards when it comes to dating/overall attraction (physical, intellectual, spiritual, etc.) and I never cared for pursuing the life of a "player." Any girl I dated I asked her out and she had a full shot at the title. If things didn't work out that way then no harm no foul. I don't know where you get your assumptions of ESTPs.

Over time it's become clear that you distrust them and think they are of low moral fiber. That's interesting coming from a person that said they would only call the police if they saw a person bering brutually late/assaulted so long as iti didn't make you late for work, actually only if the person being assaulted called you the day before to notify you so that you could write it into your schedule. Remeber that remark?

http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/896210-post105.html

Who are you to judge anyone? :dont:

I for one knew from a very early age that I wanted a wife, someone all my own, and I knew I wanted to be a father at some point in my life. I did not rush into trying to find Mrs. Hall. We met at school, and she blew my mind, and I devoted all resources to pursuing her, and things worked out, and here we are 15 years later happily married and with two beautiful kids. :D

Did I shit can my ex-girlfriend from high school (4 year relationship) when she screwed our relationship up? Yup. And I did not look back. But that is not just an ESTP phenomenon, many extroverts do the same thing. When we are done, we are done.

I'll give you the "Big 5" that I think any ESTP male would be very happy with in a LTR, marriage or not:

1. Love/Sex
2. Companionship
3. Quality Time (Fun)
4. Respect
5. Peace and Quiet

-Halla
 

Athenian200

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Athenian, I never, ever in my life "looked for short term partners." I have very high standards when it comes to dating/overall attraction (physical, intellectual, spiritual, etc.) and I never cared for pursuing the life of a "player." Any girl I dated I asked her out and she had a full shot at the title. If things didn't work out that way then no harm no foul. I don't know where you get your assumptions of ESTPs.

You aren't very familiar with the archetypes and stereotypes, I see.

I never said that people who look for short-term relationships are somehow lacking in morals. Where did you get that assumption? :shock: I know ENP friends who do the same thing, and I think they're wonderful people.

But fine, point conceded. They weren't ESTPs.

That's interesting coming from a person that said they would only call the police if they saw a person bering brutually late/assaulted so long as iti didn't make you late for work, actually only if the person being assaulted called you the day before to notify you so that you could write it into your schedule. Remeber that remark?

http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/896210-post105.html

Who are you to judge anyone? :dont:

You know, I'm getting pretty sick and tired of you dredging up the past and throwing it in my face just because you don't happen to agree with my perspective. It's such a boring way to insult someone, I would have thought an ESTP could be halfway creative and actually get to me. Look, just don't talk to me, or about me from now on, okay?
 

Halla74

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You aren't very familiar with the archetypes and stereotypes, I see.

Archetypes are a relevant part of theory.
Stereotypes are constructs that ignorant people cast upon others.

I never said that people who look for short-term relationships are somehow lacking in morals. Where did you get that assumption? :shock: I know ENP friends who do the same thing, and I think they're wonderful people.

But fine, point conceded. They weren't ESTPs.

I never stated anything about morality. I simply answered the OP with details from my life that I deemed relevant.

You know, I'm getting pretty sick and tired of you dredging up the past and throwing it in my face just because you don't happen to agree with my perspective. It's such a boring way to insult someone, I would have thought an ESTP could be halfway creative and actually get to me. Look, just don't talk to me, or about me from now on, okay?

You'd know if I were insulting you. You are not worth my time or effort. I just thought it amusing that someone with views as self centered as your own is comfortable preaching about the romantic inclincations of others. The point is that you can dish it out, but you can't take it. Grow up.
 

ChocolateMoose123

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People who say they are or are not looking for a relationship baffle me. How is this something you can control??? :thinking: Yet I hear these phrases a lot!
 

Halla74

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People who say they are or are not looking for a relationship baffle me. How is this something you can control??? :thinking:

Exactly.

"Live is what happens while you're making other plans."

-John Lennon
 

Jaguar

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Over time it's become clear that you distrust them and think they are of low moral fiber. That's interesting coming from a person that said they would only call the police if they saw a person bering brutually late/assaulted so long as iti didn't make you late for work, actually only if the person being assaulted called you the day before to notify you so that you could write it into your schedule. Remeber that remark?

http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/896210-post105.html

Who are you to judge anyone? :dont:

I hear you, brother. That post you linked to was pathetic.
As if that wasn't bad enough, Athenian judged Night for his personal spiritual beliefs in the God thread.

Post is here:
http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/philosophy-spirituality/23434-i-believe-god-2.html#post891113
I don't know what's gotten into Athenian lately, but this holier-than-thou judging is getting ridiculous.

As far as judging ESTPs in such an unfair manner, this is not the first time Athenian has done this.
This is like instant replay, all over again.
Obviously Athenian must have some terrible insecurities which are triggered by an ESTP stereotype.

I wish he would just get over it, already.
 

Halla74

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^Wow.
I was not aware of the scope of Athenian's judgemental tendencies.
Thank you for pointing that information out.
Both comments are shameful as far as I'm concerned.
Totally rude and without base or cause.
 
D

Dali

Guest
I don't know what's gotten into Athenian lately, but this holier-than-thou judging is getting ridiculous.

What do you mean lately? The sensor hate, ESTP hate, INTJ hate, Fi hate and... well, hate... is all over her history. :coffee:

Which is sad because, sometimes, her posts can be incredibly insightful and intelligent.
 

Jaguar

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What do you mean lately? The sensor hate, ESTP hate, INTJ hate, Fi hate and... well, hate... is all over her history. :coffee:

I'm aware of Athenian's history of hatred for ESTPs and that ridiculous "sensor" hate, in general.
(How anyone can hate a "sensor" when we all use our senses, is illogical.)

There's an old thread in this forum where Halla and I got into it with Athenian about it.
It just seems that in the last week, every post of Athenian's is some over-the-top judgmental nonsense. More than usual.

By the way, Athenian is a guy.
 
D

Dali

Guest
I know that. He's still a guy.

Address Athenian how you please and I'll address her as she would like.

Lets not get into a debate about gender identity on this thread. Feel free to PM/profile message me if you'd like to. Or start another thread. Not here though.
 

mwv6r

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What do ESTPs look for in romantic relationships? Why they look for INFJs of course! :wubbie: Or at least I like to think so since I'm married to an ESTP!

I've found the negative stereotypes about ESTPs having trouble settling down, playing the field, etc., etc., to be untrue with my ESTP. My partner is devoted and relationship-oriented and was that way not just with me but in prior relationships as well. I read on a typology website once that ESTPs enjoy spending time with and "just being with" their mate, and I do think that is particularly true of my ESTP. We have a lot of playful, goofy downtime, which I enjoy because it helps me live in the moment more (something INFJs tend to struggle with).

Not that my husband is representative of all ESTPs, but we just happened to have a conversation the other day about what attracted us to each other and he said what made him want to date me was:

- physical chemistry
- me "getting" his sense of humor
- good conversation
- intelligence
 
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