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[SP] Competitiveness

wolfy

awsm
Joined
Jun 30, 2008
Messages
12,251
There is one more thing I'd like to hear from people about. Competitiveness. How does it play out in your life. All SP are competitive, cocky and confident, some hide it better than others.

I am enjoying reading your thoughts and ideas. We are similar enough to understand and different enough to learn from.
 

sLiPpY

New member
Joined
Oct 14, 2009
Messages
2,003
MBTI Type
ISTP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I'm not really all that competative. I typically compete with myself to see if I can do something a little better next time.

I don't base anything on what someone else is doing to measure myself.
 

millerm277

New member
Joined
Feb 1, 2008
Messages
978
MBTI Type
ISTP
I am competitive only with myself, really. I don't especially care what other people are doing, or if they're better than I am. I compete with myself to do better at things, even basic everyday things can become mental competitions. For example, since I have to leave for school at 6:40AM, and that I like to sleep, I've managed to reliably be able to eat a bowl of cereal, change, gather up my stuff, clean up, and be in my car, in about 20 minutes.
 

Halla74

Artisan Conquerer
Joined
Jan 20, 2009
Messages
6,898
MBTI Type
ESTP
Enneagram
7w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I exert my best in all that I do. When I was 8 my Dad took an entire afternoon one Saturday with me and we washed, vaccuumed, waxed and detailed his Volvo 240 DL Turbo (light metallic blue, navy interior, allow mags, nice car for 1982). It took us alllll day. When I was done waxing and he inspected it, he found some spots I needed to touch up, then he opened the gas cap. He said "Ax, you didn't wax inside the gas cap. Do you want the car to rust there?" I said "Nope, but I didn't think about it." He said "That's OK, just do it now, and remember it next time." When we were done he said "If you are going to do anything, do it right." Then we went out and got huge cheeseburgers. :cheese:

That's my attitude. I give my best effort. I learn from my mistakes and experience gained along the way. I constantly try to improve that which I do. I give my customer's their money's worth, and they come back for more.

Regarding competition, I am very competitive with myself. I am competitive with other people where need be, but these situations are rare. It is better for me to establish rapport with my peers and entice them to give their best work to me in the process of what we are doing, knowing that if they realize I am in the whole deal for the sake of the project, and not just to make me look good, or them look bad, then everything works out much better. Both parties can shine or burn depending on their individual efforts.

If it comes to conflict, I take the high road, but if excessively provoked I will engage and I will not show mercy. I'm one to end things very quickly and make it very clear that type of thing is not acceptable. I'm a lover, not a fighter, but I will kick me some ass if I need to, and I won't feel bad about. I hate seeing others picked on. That irritates me more than anyone trying to mess with me.
 

Biaxident

Charting a course
Joined
Jan 10, 2009
Messages
3,617
MBTI Type
INFP
I exert my best in all that I do. When I was 8 my Dad took an entire afternoon one Saturday with me and we washed, vaccuumed, waxed and detailed his Volvo 240 DL Turbo (light metallic blue, navy interior, allow mags, nice car for 1982). It took us alllll day. When I was done waxing and he inspected it, he found some spots I needed to touch up, then he opened the gas cap. He said "Ax, you didn't wax inside the gas cap. Do you want the car to rust there?" I said "Nope, but I didn't think about it." He said "That's OK, just do it now, and remember it next time." When we were done he said "If you are going to do anything, do it right." Then we went out and got huge cheeseburgers. :cheese:

That's my attitude. I give my best effort. I learn from my mistakes and experience gained along the way. I constantly try to improve that which I do. I give my customer's their money's worth, and they come back for more.

Regarding competition, I am very competitive with myself. I am competitive with other people where need be, but these situations are rare. It is better for me to establish rapport with my peers and entice them to give their best work to me in the process of what we are doing, knowing that if they realize I am in the whole deal for the sake of the project, and not just to make me look good, or them look bad, then everything works out much better. Both parties can shine or burn depending on their individual efforts.

If it comes to conflict, I take the high road, but if excessively provoked I will engage and I will not show mercy. I'm one to end things very quickly and make it very clear that type of thing is not acceptable. I'm a lover, not a fighter, but I will kick me some ass if I need to, and I won't feel bad about. I hate seeing others picked on. That irritates me more than anyone trying to mess with me.

Exactly.

 

Bamboo

New member
Joined
Jan 28, 2009
Messages
2,689
MBTI Type
XXFP
In high school I ran XC (cross country) and track. XC was really more my thing.

Freshman year, I was good enough to be varsity, but I wasn't that great. Varsity was about 8 guys. Throughout the season, I was number 4, 5, or 6 on the team. I wasn't very competitive. I did my workouts, ran my races, but never really paid too much attention to my times or placement, at least compared to the other guys on the team, who knew all the competitors on the field and their normal times and their stategies etc etc.

However, something strange happened right when the season winded down to counties, regionals, and the state competition. Counties and regionals, I don't remember really how I did, maybe 5th on the team or something. It felt different though. For states, it was 'the real deal'. I wasn't competing against my teammates, or really against anyone else on the course. I was just competing. I just ran my race. I came in 2nd on the team, narrowly behind the top guy on the team. (I don't think the other senior year guys on the team were very happy with this...sorry guys.) I don't remember my time or overall placement, but it was much better than usual.

I continued this trend all the years I ran - not all that serious most of the season and then as things came around toward regionals and states I'd really start pushing more.

Not sure what the moral of my story here is, but that's it. I guess, try to recognize when it is most important to perform.

If y'all can draw any conclusions from this that I'm not picking up on, do tell.
 

mcmartinez84

New member
Joined
Oct 25, 2007
Messages
650
MBTI Type
ISTP
Maybe it's an ISTP thing to just not be very competitive. I'm like slippy and millerm277, just competitive with myself... I don't really care what other people can do relative to me. Honestly, it turns me off from doing something. For instance one of my friends programs a LOT on the side. I was trying to code a fractal-something-or-other picture. And of course I picked that as one of my first non-work programs, which isn't the easiest to grasp, but I did. And he thought it would be fun to do it too. He completed that in about an hour while I was still trying to understand the examples I'd found online... I stopped trying after that.

When someone else's talent is obviously much better than mine, I don't bother. It's not fun for me to play to lose. I like playing against people who are on about my level.

Also, I don't like playing games where I have to exploit the other person's weaknesses - I suppose that could be every game ever, but I'm thinking of games like Connect Four where it's almost impossible to just play to win. You have to play to beat the other player and screw up the board for their next play. I don't know if that makes sense the way I have it worded. I like playing Rummikub a LOT. You play with the tiles you have, whatever is on the board and try to get rid of them before the others. You use the board to your advantage, not manipulate it so other players lose (altho that's a nice side-effect). Spades is pretty fun too. I know a bunch of people play to set the other team, but I play to make my number of hands.

It's been said other places, but we make games out of chores to get them done - totally true for me. Even stuff like brushing my teeth! I have an electric toothbrush with a 30-second timer on it so I know when to switch quadrants of my mouth. I pretend I'm in a toothbrushing competition (on ESPN with commentators!) and whoever does the most thorough job with the least wasted toothbrushing during switches wins. Of course all I win is clean teeth, lol. :D (And I would probably never tell this to anyone in person :p )
 

Pancreas

New member
Joined
Nov 8, 2008
Messages
176
MBTI Type
ISTP
I think I can seem really competitive at times because I work hard and am good at what I do. I like winning, but I don’t really like beating people.

I don't really care what other people can do relative to me. Honestly, it turns me off from doing something. ... When someone else's talent is obviously much better than mine, I don't bother. It's not fun for me to play to lose. I like playing against people who are on about my level.

I’ve got friends who seem to be a lot more about the ‘me versus you’ kind of thing. They’re always creating these ridiculous little competitions where the main prize is generally bragging rights and I just don’t care. I don’t want to compete against them, I want to compete against me.

Also, I don't like playing games where I have to exploit the other person's weaknesses - I suppose that could be every game ever, but I'm thinking of games like Connect Four where it's almost impossible to just play to win. You have to play to beat the other player and screw up the board for their next play. I don't know if that makes sense the way I have it worded. I like playing Rummikub a LOT. You play with the tiles you have, whatever is on the board and try to get rid of them before the others. You use the board to your advantage, not manipulate it so other players lose (altho that's a nice side-effect).

I’m just going to steal this paragraph.

Looking back, and using sport as an example, the games that have held my interest tend to have a focus other than beating people. Athletics and swimming lost me at a young age. The sports that held my interest and attention tended to have a focus other than be better than the other person or team (or at least something else that could be my focus). Scoring that goal, winning that next point. It was about being in the moment and adjusting to achieve the target. And once I achieved it, I kept going and tried to do it again, under a different set of conditions. With athletics every race was the same. The only thing that changed was my placing. ‘How many people did I beat?’ or ‘how many people beat me?’

I can and have spent hours practicing a sport. Because I enjoy it. It could be repetitive to others, but not to me, because I mix things up, tweak things, see what I can get away with and what I can’t, and the whole time I’m improving.
 

wolfy

awsm
Joined
Jun 30, 2008
Messages
12,251
Also, I don't like playing games where I have to exploit the other person's weaknesses - I suppose that could be every game ever, but I'm thinking of games like Connect Four where it's almost impossible to just play to win. You have to play to beat the other player and screw up the board for their next play.

That's interesting. I prefer snooker over pool because it does have that element to it. I enjoy screwing with the other persons play in games.

There is a positive to competitiveness I think. When you compete you learn. I remember learning in martial arts that both the winner and loser get a good lesson. Both people win, if they have the right mindset.

There is another aspect to being competitive. If you are not competitive then you will have no influence. I don't mean you need to compete but you need to be competitive, I think. To have that ability.

I like to have something to feed off, I like to have something/somebody to work from. It helps to motivate me, I know that and I like that.
 

jixmixfix

Permabanned
Joined
Jun 21, 2009
Messages
4,278
I'm competitive at mixed martial arts, but I look at in the perspective of my own self improvement. Also sometimes i feel it a bit when i get tapped alot but i try not to let my ego get in the way. I know I can win and lose cuz that's how it is, you win, you lose.
 

ayoitsStepho

Twerking & Lurking
Joined
Sep 20, 2009
Messages
4,838
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
Actually, I hate competition. Its not fun at all to me. If anything I'm tough on myself but I usually know I cant beat anyone xD
 

Kingfisher

full of love
Joined
May 24, 2009
Messages
1,685
MBTI Type
ESFP
Enneagram
9w8
i am pretty competitive, i really enjoy it, i get a lot of satisfaction and energy from competition with somebody.

but i get very upset when people try to compete with someone who is not interested or not competitive. it annoys me a lot.
so i only like competition with someone who is very actively competitive.

There is a positive to competitiveness I think. When you compete you learn. I remember learning in martial arts that both the winner and loser get a good lesson. Both people win, if they have the right mindset.

i agree.
competition also leaves me with a unique sensation of acomplishment, even if i loose. it's a unique kind of experience and acomplishment that you can't feel just on your own. it takes the involvement of another person.
i like to match myself up against another person, because it takes a lot of control out of the equation, it pits you against something entirely outside of your self. something you can't control or influence the way you can control yourself.
i really enjoy having to adapt to things outside of my control.
 

ChocolateMoose123

New member
Joined
Oct 4, 2008
Messages
5,278
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Everyone has such spot on posts. I agree with most of them. I will do my best to win and if I do that then I don't really care if I lose.
 
Joined
Jun 6, 2007
Messages
7,312
MBTI Type
INTJ
I'm very competitive. I like winning, but I hate losing even more. I don't understand when people say "I don't care who wins, I just want to have fun." It's fun to win, and it's not fun to lose. Besides, the very point of most games is to win. I especially enjoy trying to prove people wrong who underestimate me.

This doesn't mean that I'm a killjoy, or one of those people who turn into dicks and aren't any fun to play with. I just don't have any shame about trying to win and don't understand why there is a social stigma about appearing to care too much.
 

Heinel

New member
Joined
Sep 13, 2009
Messages
337
MBTI Type
TiSe
Enneagram
5w4
When someone else's talent is obviously much better than mine, I don't bother. It's not fun for me to play to lose. I like playing against people who are on about my level.

Actually, if that is the reason you don't like competing, aren't you really just trying to not lose? That is actually very competitive, even more competitive than people who try to win, as they do see the possibility of losing as an acceptable outcome.

For me personally I used to hate competing with others as well. It's only later when I understood that losing is okay then I started competing with others.
 

Mitzy

brat
Joined
Oct 2, 2008
Messages
687
MBTI Type
ENTP
i dont care about it. when i find myself tricked into a competition, i usually just walk away once i realize whats going on. seriously, who cares? what a waste of time.

its mostly women who do this to me. women are always trying to compete against each other and "one up" each other to fill their own ego and self esteem. its so annoying.
 

mcmartinez84

New member
Joined
Oct 25, 2007
Messages
650
MBTI Type
ISTP
Actually, if that is the reason you don't like competing, aren't you really just trying to not lose? That is actually very competitive, even more competitive than people who try to win, as they do see the possibility of losing as an acceptable outcome.

For me personally I used to hate competing with others as well. It's only later when I understood that losing is okay then I started competing with others.

I'm trying to have fun. Playing to lose (because they have much greater talent than mine) against competitive people isn't fun for me. Playing against talented people just for fun...that's fun. It's a time when I can improve on my skill-set, it all remains light hearted... There's a time and place for being competitive and a lot of competitive people are *always* competitive. I just don't care that much.

Maybe that explains how I'm not competitive better...idk.
 

Charmed Justice

Nickle Iron Silicone
Joined
Jul 22, 2009
Messages
2,805
MBTI Type
INFJ
I'm very competitive when I intentionally set out to be and when everyone involved is aware that there's actually a competition-and have agreed to participate. I don't like being unexpectedly pitted against other people, and in most instances, prefer cooperation to competition. I like competing with myself more than anything.

When I was younger, I was socially competitive and then later became very career ambitious. At the same time, I always felt that academic competition cheapened the learning experience. I just wanted to learn for the sake of it.
 

Stanton Moore

morose bourgeoisie
Joined
Mar 4, 2009
Messages
3,900
MBTI Type
INFP
It depends for me. In music, I'm not competitive at all. In cycling, I'm very.
 

Poki

New member
Joined
Dec 4, 2008
Messages
10,436
MBTI Type
STP
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I have never been competitive. Even when I was in martial arts I was more about pushing my body to my limits each and every time instead of competing against someone else. The sparing wasnt about winning but improving my reflexes, responses, etc. I was more about pushing myself till I was about to pass out. Still push myself this hard just because I enjoy it. The past couple of years I started to weeze if I push myself to hard so I have had to back off slightly.
 
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