User Tag List

First 2345 Last

Results 31 to 40 of 50

  1. #31
    Senior Member syckkz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    MBTI
    ISTP
    Enneagram
    5w6
    Socionics
    ILI
    Posts
    135

    Default

    I made a relationship with an ISFJ/INFJ work for 4 yrs.. which is a HUGE accomplishment for me! So I'm gonna give this a shot.

    In private, I am very close to my girlfriend.. I enjoy lots of space, but I enjoy being close just as much. I like more light hearted convo and serious convo about things outside of us (news, thoughts, debates..)... conversations being too emotionally heavy can be VERY draining for me.. but I stick it through for her when it's needed because she needs that from me sometimes.

    I enjoy relaxing and hanging out at home with her more than anything. I tell her I love her on a daily basis because I know that she likes to know that and she gets upset when I don't.. and I don't want to have to get the "you don't care no more" talk. I've learned to bend for her because I love her, in turn she tries to not be too emotional with me and gives me my freedom to do things outside of us.

    In public.. around other people.. I become very quiet.. I don't usually have much to say to people I don't know very well. I let her go on and do her own thing I prefer to stay in one area and kind of blend into the background.. she thinks I get cold or upset because I don't like to get in there with her and talk a whole lot with her in front of people.
    I just enjoy being in my own space with my own thoughts, if someone talks to me I will be more than happy to try to keep up a conversation.. but that's my idea of enjoying it.
    “Always be sincere, whether you mean it or not.”

  2. #32
    Permabanned
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    4,338

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Kingfisher View Post
    a few people have told me that.
    Have you ever taken a cognitive functions test? I can picture you with someone who has high Fi. My Ti and Fi are equally high.Some ISTPs don't have high Fi at all and some do.

  3. #33
    Permabanned
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    4,338

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by mcmartinez84 View Post
    +1...altho make that "boyfriend" instead of "girlfriend"
    hahahha I can't see how guys bring their girlfriends on stage at strip joints I wouldn't want 100 guys seing my girlfriend naked and running around like a little skank.

  4. #34
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Posts
    4,226

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by seamaid View Post
    I don't know if this is a weird question, but here goes anyway:

    How does a good/healthy/happy ISTP boyfriend/husband behave toward his girlfriend/wife? In private? In public? I'm very interested in the 'in public' behavior.

    I don't think an answer like, 'we'd be just like any other 'good' boyfriend' would work, because
    well, ISTPs don't think like NFs. For example, a good ENFP boyfriend might write tons of gushy emails, but I don't think an ISTP would even if he was 'in love'. But then I might be wrong. Let me know.

    Just honest and real answers please. Thanks.

    From the ENFP perspective?
    In public-not much physical contact and tons of freedom and alone time for the ISTP. I never made him do stuff like christmas parties or hang out my friends as he was very uncomfortable and unhappy. We didnt go shopping together or have dates or exhibit much PDA. Maybe twice a year we would go out for dinner. It was like he had two lives-the hobby life-on his own pushing the limits of the hobby- and the home life-with me and the kids. Sometimes we would hold hands in public.

    At home-he liked to cuddle, was even a spooner at night, not averse to physical proximity. Not very talkative. Spending time together was enough-we didnt have long drawn out conversations. Could be quite cuddly and sweet as long as he wasnt busy with a project. Very sincere in his love.

  5. #35
    Senior Member mcmartinez84's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    MBTI
    ISTP
    Posts
    719

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by jixmixfix View Post
    hahahha I can't see how guys bring their girlfriends on stage at strip joints I wouldn't want 100 guys seing my girlfriend naked and running around like a little skank.
    For real!!! I'm pretty generous about a lot of things, but my naked boyfriend is just not one of those things I share. And I'd rather die than be naked in front of a bunch of pervs...even if they aren't pervs, I ain't a fan of being naked around too many people!
    I 65.63% E 34.38%
    S 68.75% N 31.25%
    T 87.1% F 12.9%
    P 66.67% J 33.33%

  6. #36
    Senior Member toast's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    MBTI
    ENFJ
    Enneagram
    2w3
    Posts
    249

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by seamaid View Post
    So, dilemma: I'm with an ISTP and he wants us to stay together. We're fine when it's just us two, but when I'm put in a social situation with him, I've noticed that other than occasionally checking to see what the other is up to, he doesn't act much like we are a couple, or a "team".

    Until I saw the answers on this thread, I didn't know what to make of this. I thought this meant he just didn't care about me when given the opportunity to be in the company of other females. He's my first ISTP, and this very non-coupley behavior is not what I'm used to. I'm used to openly affectionate and reassuring SF behavior personally.
    I had this for a while but his jealousy actually helped me to see it for what it really was. My ISTP would disappear at parties & just check on me every once in a while. Not what I was used to. I would probably have come to all sorts of assumptions but I never really had time to be bothered by it because he displayed jealousy at parties early on. If he came to check up on me & there was someone getting too close, he'd stick on me & get very obviously "coupley." This helped me to realize he wasn't thinking about not being with me all night. He just figured (as mcmartinez84 pointed out) that we were there to hang out with other people... so why stick together?

    As for PDA. He is much better with that but I don't think he'll ever initiate. He seems pretty comfortable letting me hug/kiss him in public as long as he isn't in a terrible mood. He will hold my hand a lot. I used to have A LOT of problems with PDA when he was uncomfortable with it. It really gave me the "are we really a couple?" complex I am still trying to recover from.

    Quote Originally Posted by seamaid View Post
    The trouble is I am constantly thinking I am not good enough compared to this or that. This really hampers my ability to let go, have fun, and just be "me", which would be the best thing for the health of our relationship.
    And I completely relate to this though I think about it less now. I used to think of ways to be fun & exciting when I was around him because it was the only time he seemed to be responsive to me. It was easy at first but then I started to get bitter / hopeless when I started to feel like he expected it of me. Eventually he opened up a lot more & made me realize he liked when I was happy but didn't want me to be all the time. He likes to MAKE me happy sometimes, it seems. I still think about it when I am actually upset about something for too long, because I still feel like he likes me more when I'm happy (perhaps because it implies independence). I don't think about it much though. He really helped me with that.

  7. #37
    Member KarliJoanne's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    MBTI
    ISFP
    Posts
    36

    Default

    I've been dating my ISTP boyfriend for almost 4 years now. We don't actually go to a lot of parties, we prefer to hang out just the two of us, just got back from a fishing trip actually. But when we do go to parties we stick together usually at the beginning, but often get to talking to other people. I think it's pretty obvious that we're a couple though. The better we know everyone the less time we spend attached, and the less we know people, the more we stick together.

    I think that you should talk to your boyfriend about how you feel when you go to parties with him. He may just have no idea how you're feeling, ISTPs don't always pick up on feelings, so you have to try to be open and honest about them. It's good to realize that it's his personality to enjoy personal space and not to cling, but if it leaves you feeling neglected perhaps you can explain it to him. He might be sensitive to that

  8. #38
    Senior Member millerm277's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    MBTI
    ISTP
    Posts
    978

    Default

    That's me as well, I think I would be pissed of if my girlfriend started stripping at a party.
    I think I'd probably be leaving her after that night....

    I had this for a while but his jealousy actually helped me to see it for what it really was. My ISTP would disappear at parties & just check on me every once in a while. Not what I was used to. I would probably have come to all sorts of assumptions but I never really had time to be bothered by it because he displayed jealousy at parties early on. If he came to check up on me & there was someone getting too close, he'd stick on me & get very obviously "coupley." This helped me to realize he wasn't thinking about not being with me all night. He just figured (as mcmartinez84 pointed out) that we were there to hang out with other people... so why stick together?
    This is about right. If we're with mostly good friends, I might not see her for an hour or two even, going off and doing something or whatever. If we're not, we stick together. And yeah, the territorial thing kicks in if it seems like someone is getting "too friendly" and I'll act extra "coupley"

    As for PDA. He is much better with that but I don't think he'll ever initiate. He seems pretty comfortable letting me hug/kiss him in public as long as he isn't in a terrible mood. He will hold my hand a lot. I used to have A LOT of problems with PDA when he was uncomfortable with it. It really gave me the "are we really a couple?" complex I am still trying to recover from.
    I pretty much never initiate kissing in public, hugs sure. It's just that to me, displays of affection are more of a private thing, and I don't really like such things to be for "the world to see".
    I-95%, S-84%, T-89%, P-84%

  9. #39
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    4w5
    Posts
    9,849

    Default

    A good ISTP will give you plenty of space to breathe and explore but appreciates your proximity, (in a social environment).

    In public it is plenty clear that you are a couple, as evidenced via pda, level and type of communication, and body language.
    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

    Ride si sapis

    Intelligentle sparkles

  10. #40
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    4w5
    Posts
    9,849

    Default

    Hahahahahaa, an ISTP writing a love letter.



    I made the horrible mistake of writing an ISTP a love letter poem when I was 19.

    His reaction?



    Yeah, mortifying, we live and learn.
    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

    Ride si sapis

    Intelligentle sparkles

Similar Threads

  1. [ISTP] Allure of the ISTP
    By Betty Blue in forum The SP Arthouse (ESFP, ISFP, ESTP, ISTP)
    Replies: 142
    Last Post: 05-13-2017, 07:32 PM
  2. [ISTP] The Mating Ritual of the ISTP
    By Lamia in forum The SP Arthouse (ESFP, ISFP, ESTP, ISTP)
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: 10-03-2016, 02:17 PM
  3. [MBTItm] hello guys ! :) I have a question for all of u ISTPs and people who know ISTPs :)
    By nataliecarmen in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 01-29-2011, 01:06 AM
  4. Two friends of mine and their boyfriend/husband
    By Halfjillhalfjack in forum What's my Type?
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 01-28-2010, 09:04 AM
  5. [ISTP] In the mind of an ISTP
    By jixmixfix in forum The SP Arthouse (ESFP, ISFP, ESTP, ISTP)
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: 08-19-2009, 07:32 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO