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  1. #1
    Member KarliJoanne's Avatar
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    Default ISTPs and their feelings...

    Just wondering, what sorts of things can others do that help you to talk about how you feel about things? Or even to help you understand your own feelings better, even if you don't talk about them?

  2. #2
    Senior Member Heinel's Avatar
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    I write. There is no need to tell anyone about anything. :P
    Check out my blog: http://OrnateRitual.com

  3. #3
    Senior Member syckkz's Avatar
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    I agree.. writing usually helps out.. But wouldn't want anyone else seeing what I put down. I ain't real good with feelings, especially my own
    “Always be sincere, whether you mean it or not.”

  4. #4
    Member ViCyniC's Avatar
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    Time and trust. It depends on the nature of the person as observed by me.

    Also, conversation while focused on something else or being active. Not face to face.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by ViCyniC View Post
    Time and trust. It depends on the nature of the person as observed by me.

    Also, conversation while focused on something else or being active. Not face to face.
    This is extremely important.

  6. #6
    Controlled Mischief StephMC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ViCyniC View Post
    Time and trust. It depends on the nature of the person as observed by me.

    Also, conversation while focused on something else or being active. Not face to face.
    +1. So true. There are some people I take to really quickly, and others that take me a while before I can confide in them... sometimes even when I -want- to. And it's interesting that you say not face to face... because I usually prefer being face to face. But if it's about feelings... I become very unlike myself and prefer people not looking at me directly, too. I've had ex's that would corner me about something involving feelings and put their hands on my shoulders and try to look me in the eye... I recoil from this. I completely freeze up and want nothing better than to dart out the door. But later when we're about to go to sleep and the lights are out... I don't mind opening up a little more. If it wasn't really weird, I wouldn't mind like... sitting on the couch side by side and not looking at each other while talking. I guess because I have no control of my facial expressions and eyes when I talk about these things, and that makes me feel very vulnerable.

    Anyways, if I'm comfortable enough with someone, and the conversation steers to more personal, serious subject matter, I don't mind being a bit candid with them.... but only about things I've had a lot of time to think about and have sorted out in my brain. Like... anything from pet peeves or trouble I'm having with someone to my parent's divorce. A few years ago, I would have avoided talking about my parent's divorce, and there's no way ANYONE would have gotten much out of me (not even my ENFP sister whom I'm close with). But now I can talk about it quite matter-of-factly. So I'd even say I need time with the person AND the topic. All I needed was to write things down, like people said.
    I have an inner monologue that sounds strikingly similar to something off Animal Planet.

  7. #7
    Reptilian Snuggletron's Avatar
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    ISTPs have feelings?

  8. #8
    Senior Member mcmartinez84's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ViCyniC View Post
    Time and trust. It depends on the nature of the person as observed by me.

    Also, conversation while focused on something else or being active. Not face to face.
    And another +1 from me.

    I'm better at this via instant messenger or email... It gives me time to think about the subject matter and sort it all out. I can backspace and change wording so it's more accurate. My first thoughts on how I feel are usually very elementary like "good or bad" which is generally enough for me, so doing this in person (with someone who wants and expects me to "explain") would be an awful conversation 'cause I'd have to think about this stuff faster which just doesn't work. I'd shut down and change the topic by making a funny face or going to the kitchen and finding something to eat...I'm so weird

    Of course it depends on the topic. Steph put it well - if it's something I've had plenty of time to think about and I'm fairly at peace with it, then I don't mind talking about it...even if it would have been painful at the time that it happened.

    Just reading the original post made me shut down a bit. Clearly writing about this helps, lol. I thought "AAAAAAH! EW FEELINGS! Get them away from meeeeeeee!" I saw the post before any replies were made...went to a meeting, saw some replies and then I started piecing together a reply of my own. It's a lengthy process
    I 65.63% E 34.38%
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    T 87.1% F 12.9%
    P 66.67% J 33.33%

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by mcmartinez84 View Post
    And another +1 from me.

    I'm better at this via instant messenger or email... It gives me time to think about the subject matter and sort it all out. I can backspace and change wording so it's more accurate. My first thoughts on how I feel are usually very elementary like "good or bad" which is generally enough for me, so doing this in person (with someone who wants and expects me to "explain") would be an awful conversation 'cause I'd have to think about this stuff faster which just doesn't work. I'd shut down and change the topic by making a funny face or going to the kitchen and finding something to eat...I'm so weird

    Of course it depends on the topic. Steph put it well - if it's something I've had plenty of time to think about and I'm fairly at peace with it, then I don't mind talking about it...even if it would have been painful at the time that it happened.

    Just reading the original post made me shut down a bit. Clearly writing about this helps, lol. I thought "AAAAAAH! EW FEELINGS! Get them away from meeeeeeee!" I saw the post before any replies were made...went to a meeting, saw some replies and then I started piecing together a reply of my own. It's a lengthy process
    I can talk about something that was emotional easily without any emotion after I have had enough time to process it. Thats usually when I easily open up when the emotion is gone.

    Its like at that point I can talk and rationalize it without my emotions getting in the way.

  10. #10
    Controlled Mischief StephMC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by poki View Post
    Its like at that point I can talk and rationalize it without my emotions getting in the way.
    Yeesss.... It's like... I can talk about it when Ti trumps Fi again.
    I have an inner monologue that sounds strikingly similar to something off Animal Planet.

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