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  1. #71
    Rainy Day Woman MDP2525's Avatar
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    Now that you mention it. I do see the pressure valve scenario. I also relate to the drunken cry too. I had both at the same time last year and it sucked! My father passed away last November (we were estranged for 15 years until the last 2 months of his life) there was a lot of mixed emotions. (The last time I saw him was 2 days before he passed and we argued). I went out that same night with friends the day I found out. Only one of the friends I went out with that night knew what happened that day. Something I was adamant about her keeping secret to anyone else.

    I remember sitting in the car of an acquaintance. I didn't know this person that well at all but I was drunk and he was talking about him going to church or something. (my dad was a Pentecostal preacher). I just lost it. Broke down and told him everything. I mean...I must have scared the shit out of him. I was a blubbering mess and I held nothing back. I remember hazily thinking that he must think I was crazy. The next day, I felt humiliated. He never mentioned anything about that night (something I was grateful for) and I think I only saw him once or twice after that conversation.

    But yeah. reminds me...I think there was another thread about SP's disclosing information. This is a good example. Only one of my close friends knew about my father even passing away and she didn't even know any of the details, really. This almost perfect stranger got to hear my every worry/fear/thought about things and life and all kinds of stuff. Now that I mention it. Maybe I should exercise more disclosure with my friends than strangers. Eh. Maybe not. Ugh...what a tangent...anyway...back to bacon...lol
    ~luck favors the ready~


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  2. #72
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    Steak bits wit' bacon' n' ranch

  3. #73
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    First line of defense when something that looks remotely like 'Feelings' comes up is: writing.

    I agree pretty much with what everyone else here said.

    There are some people I take to really quickly, and others that take me a while before I can confide in them... sometimes even when I -want- to.
    ^ Yes, this is also my experience. I can open up to, say, ESFPs a bit faster (mature ones, of course. definitely not the ones who are still too young and whee!party for me to tell serious things to). Than compared to, say, an INFJ. Although i can tell the relationship with the INFJ is probably gonna be 'deeper' as in we talk about more weighty things more often. Its like although i can tell you're someone i can/would trust, i just cannot trust you YET. But given time and patience, it'll usually work out. For the ESxP-like people, i'll feel more comfortable around them initially (you know their ability to put people at ease). However, i may not discuss such so-called 'serious' things with them as regularly as with INFxs. For example.

    Agree with the rest of this too:

    ...And it's interesting that you say not face to face... because I usually prefer being face to face. But if it's about feelings... I become very unlike myself and prefer people not looking at me directly, too. I've had ex's that would corner me about something involving feelings and put their hands on my shoulders and try to look me in the eye... I recoil from this. I completely freeze up and want nothing better than to dart out the door. But later when we're about to go to sleep and the lights are out... I don't mind opening up a little more. If it wasn't really weird, I wouldn't mind like... sitting on the couch side by side and not looking at each other while talking. I guess because I have no control of my facial expressions and eyes when I talk about these things, and that makes me feel very vulnerable.

    Anyways, if I'm comfortable enough with someone, and the conversation steers to more personal, serious subject matter, I don't mind being a bit candid with them.... but only about things I've had a lot of time to think about and have sorted out in my brain. Like... anything from pet peeves or trouble I'm having with someone to my parent's divorce. A few years ago, I would have avoided talking about my parent's divorce, and there's no way ANYONE would have gotten much out of me (not even my ENFP sister whom I'm close with). But now I can talk about it quite matter-of-factly. So I'd even say I need time with the person AND the topic. All I needed was to write things down, like people said.

  4. #74

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    Reading this sheds SO much light on my husband (an ISTP)!!
    Being an INFJ myself, I'm always completely BAFFLED by things like, "How can you see that so simply? Do you not -care- about anything? Why aren't you empathetic?"

    This "duh" factor is finally registering with me - it's just HOW he IS.

    This is amazing!

    He never really shows intense emotions (I tend to bring them out of him :blushing. And so, would it be accurate that maybe he isn't really in tune with some of his more complex ones?

    For example. I remember a couple months ago, we had a conversation and he was -insisting- that I really reach out and try to be friends with his (former) friend's girlfriend.
    "WHY do you want me to do this so badly?" I asked.
    "Because I think it would be good for you!" He insisted.
    "It's not because you think it would make your friendship better with [so and so]?"
    "No! It would be good for you!"
    "So... you want me to try and become close friends with a person that I do NOT get along with... for my own personal -enrichment-?"
    "Kind of."

    [pause...] then I said:
    "You realize that even if she and I become BFFs with matching necklaces that fit together and are completely inseparable, having sleepovers and singing Motown into our hairbrushes, [his friend] still does not care about you, me, or any of his former friends right? It won't change anything."

    ...then he burst into tears and said something along the lines of, "I guess I was really hoping this would fix my friendship with so-and-so, I didn't realize it, though."
    "When once you have tasted flight, you will forever walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you will always long to return."
    - Leonardo da Vinci

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  5. #75
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    weakshadeofblue

    Cracks me up to think many ISTP's are percieved to be like old school Clint Eastwood/Charles Bronson types. Reading some of these threads, the commonality of bursting into tears as awareness of emotion/feelings move into the forefront.



    Definately not a cry baby, but damn...

  6. #76
    Senior Member Heinel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sLiPpY View Post
    weakshadeofblue

    Cracks me up to think many ISTP's are percieved to be like old school Clint Eastwood/Charles Bronson types. Reading some of these threads, the commonality of bursting into tears as awareness of emotion/feelings move into the forefront.



    Definately not a cry baby, but damn...
    Haha yeah, and it's quite funny too since in most "empathetic situations" where people tend to shed tears we act all jolly-no-care and then in other calmer situations we suddenly burst into tears. I bet it baffles others.
    Check out my blog: http://OrnateRitual.com

  7. #77

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    It is kind of weird, because I'm all like, "OMG, Walter Cronkite died! That is so sad! He was so sweet!"
    And he's like, "Hm."

    Then - this happens at unpredictable intervals and I'm convinced he can't possibly be so simple emotionally as he seems... is that true?
    "When once you have tasted flight, you will forever walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you will always long to return."
    - Leonardo da Vinci

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  8. #78
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    ISTP emotions = sleeping, eating, drinking, sex, score! and cake!

  9. #79
    Controlled Mischief StephMC's Avatar
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    ^ Those are pretty much all we need to stay happy too. :P
    I have an inner monologue that sounds strikingly similar to something off Animal Planet.

  10. #80
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    Quote Originally Posted by Heinel View Post
    Haha yeah, and it's quite funny too since in most "empathetic situations" where people tend to shed tears we act all jolly-no-care and then in other calmer situations we suddenly burst into tears. I bet it baffles others.
    Yes its kinda sad the things we care about and what we dont. Hit a sore spot and I will tear up, but I couldnt tell you the last time I actually full out cried. Hit that spot a second time and you will probably get nothing.

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