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  1. #31
    insert random title here Randomnity's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Maverick View Post
    I think ISTP's are very cool but they sometimes annoy the hell out of me because of their coldness, lack of friendliness and general disdain for theory.
    I often come across as cold because I am annoyed by people whining about something that I wouldn't care about, so it's hard for me to fake sympathy. The problem is most things genuinely don't bother me, so a lot of the time I'm left wondering why the hell everyone is so bloody sensitive....I'm always totally shocked when I've offended someone by bringing up some touchy subject or phrasing things improperly or by debating an idea they raise. I'm trying to learn what offends/hurts people, really I am, but it seems to be an enormous list of totally illogical things, it just doesn't make sense to me.

    I'm still trying to accept that it's me who has to accommodate others if I want to get anywhere, rather than make others stop overreacting/start making sense.

    And I'm very cold and unfriendly if I'm tired or cranky, but that's just the I though, I think. Maybe IxTx.

  2. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    I don't TRY to be cold!!!


    Quote Originally Posted by mcmartinez84 View Post
    Like Whatever said... I don't try to be cold either. I guess what others think requires more warmth/feeling is something I'd tell them to get over and not worry about.

    Most people have to earn my genuine friendliness. I mean, I'm pleasant around people and I'm usually pretty nice, but more often than not...I just don't give a shit on the inside. (I should probably work on that.)

    One thing I've noticed is that it's very hard for me to feel compassionate towards others when they're talking about something I've never been through. My thought process for it is all logical; when I tell them what I think I come of as being totally cold and heartless.
    For instance, take poetry...
    1. The author should come out and tell me what's on their mind. I'm awful at reading between lines and picking up on subtleties.
    2. They're usually referring to something I haven't been through, and even if I have, I'd probably feel entirely different about the whole situation. (i.e. I probably wouldn't care.)

    I told one of my friends this and he was in a sort of shock over how incredibly frigid I sound toward other people. I never thought it was that big a deal. I guess it's built in for me to minimize things. I'm also guessing I'll never get an ulcer :p

    As far as theory goes... I think it's great that other people can do it because I certainly don't understand most of it. It's definitely interesting, but I suck at it and that makes me not want to talk about it or do it. I like practical applications much better. If I like the application enough, I'll go learn some theory.
    Quote Originally Posted by Toby View Post
    That just means you're not friends. You're missing out, too. ISTPs are one of the best kept, most underrated secrets. Probably because they underrate themselves.
    Quote Originally Posted by Randomnity View Post
    I often come across as cold because I am annoyed by people whining about something that I wouldn't care about, so it's hard for me to fake sympathy. The problem is most things genuinely don't bother me, so a lot of the time I'm left wondering why the hell everyone is so bloody sensitive....I'm always totally shocked when I've offended someone by bringing up some touchy subject or phrasing things improperly or by debating an idea they raise. I'm trying to learn what offends/hurts people, really I am, but it seems to be an enormous list of totally illogical things, it just doesn't make sense to me.

    I'm still trying to accept that it's me who has to accommodate others if I want to get anywhere, rather than make others stop overreacting/start making sense.

    And I'm very cold and unfriendly if I'm tired or cranky, but that's just the I though, I think. Maybe IxTx.
    Yeah well, it's a good thing because I already got an ulcer Too much anger I guess!

    I know ISTP's are awesome once you get to know them. A couple of my close friends are. But it takes some time, and they can be very reserved. I really like their laid back attitude. But with every positive comes some negative. And that negative is sometimes an "I don't give a shit" attitude which is irritating when you are trying to get things moving.

    Don't get my wrong, I really respect ISTP's in general and thing their attitude is cool and admirable in general. But they do annoy me sometimes - like every type, no one's perfect.

  3. #33
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    yeah- if I like you I'll be really nice to you, but if you annoy me in any way I'll be a bitch! My friends are treated as nicely as I can treat anyone. I'm neutral (to all of those touchy-feely people this probably translates as cold) to people I don't know well (Jordan on Scrubs- "I don't hate you, I nothing you").

    I agree! no food and no sleep make a very cranky me!

  4. #34
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    But it's true in general that IxTx tend to be the most "unfriendly" type. Like you come in and they go ...

  5. #35
    Senior Member mcmartinez84's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Randomnity View Post
    I often come across as cold because I am annoyed by people whining about something that I wouldn't care about, so it's hard for me to fake sympathy. The problem is most things genuinely don't bother me, so a lot of the time I'm left wondering why the hell everyone is so bloody sensitive....I'm always totally shocked when I've offended someone by bringing up some touchy subject or phrasing things improperly or by debating an idea they raise. I'm trying to learn what offends/hurts people, really I am, but it seems to be an enormous list of totally illogical things, it just doesn't make sense to me.
    Amen!!! In the process of learning what offends/hurts others...I just become more introverted because it seems like I can't say anything without offending. The thing is, when I say stuff, my intention isn't for it to be mean...just take it for what the words say - y'know, literally. And reading into what I say is so NOT what I want people to do. But they do, and I come off as cold and stuff. *shrug*

    I also agree with whatever again - I think I can be one of the best friends on the planet...once we're friends. It's just getting to that friend point that's the problem. A little toot of my own horn - I do almost anything for my friends, even if we drift apart. However, if we drift apart because we have a huge fight...I become the cold heartless bitch I'm usually accused of being (so no major change, right? lol).
    I 65.63% E 34.38%
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  6. #36
    Senior Member ptgatsby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Maverick View Post
    But it's true in general that IxTx tend to be the most "unfriendly" type. Like you come in and they go ...
    Bah, in theory maybe, but I'll have you know that I'm plenty warm with my friends.

    Ok, I lie. But that's besides the point. I just dislike your theory.


  7. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by ptgatsby View Post
    Ok, I lie. But that's besides the point. I just dislike your theory.
    But liking or not does not prove/disprove it

  8. #38
    Senior Member ptgatsby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Maverick View Post
    But liking or not does not prove/disprove it

    It's theory... it's already not proven :p I already don't need to do anything, it disproves itself!



    /me Living the stereotypes, one step at a time.

  9. #39
    insert random title here Randomnity's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mcmartinez84 View Post
    Amen!!! In the process of learning what offends/hurts others...I just become more introverted because it seems like I can't say anything without offending. The thing is, when I say stuff, my intention isn't for it to be mean...just take it for what the words say - y'know, literally. And reading into what I say is so NOT what I want people to do. But they do, and I come off as cold and stuff. *shrug*
    Haha...I had the most interesting debate with my INFJ friend about intentions the other night. My point of view was that intentions should be all that matter, if they know I don't mean harm by something, people shouldn't be offended. I consider intention and actions far more heavily than words...if I think someone is purposely being mean, I'll get annoyed at them even if they're saying something innocuous...and I usually won't be fazed by the most hurtful thing said in jest/without malice. I respond to the tone more than to the words (although I think this applies more with close friends who I can read, rather than acquaintances).

    His counterpoint was in essence that I need to consider how other people are thinking, and that most people are offended by illogical things, and I just have to deal with that. It's more accurate to try to predict/consider how the other person might react than to 'put myself in their shoes' because most people just don't think like me, apparently. I'm supposed to flex around other people instead of getting mad at them for not flexing around me. Ie try to be sensitive instead of calling everyone else oversensitive. Which makes sense, I guess, to a degree.

    This was after me offending another friend by saying something I considered to be an objective, neutral statement, not even thinking about the possibility of it offending, while she considered it an attack/rejection of her carefully-laid plans. I still don't really get it....

    (/tangent)

  10. #40
    Senior Member INTJMom's Avatar
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    One of the most outstanding things about my ISTP husband is that it has always been his habit to think of my needs first before his own. This shows itself in little ways like if he gets up to get something to drink, he asks me if I want some too. He always serves me first. But deeper than that, I just had this deep down sense when we were dating that he would never take advantage of me or do anything that would hurt me, which is why I felt safe to marry him. He puts my best interests first.

    That can kind of sound selfish in a way, but I don't mean it like that. I mean that I can trust him. He doesn't "use" me. I don't know if that's an ISTP thing, but if it is, I think it's one of the most important traits to find in a mate.

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