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  1. #1
    Riva
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    Default Is the only way to make an ISFP talk 'is' to strangle them?

    I love to talk. 'We Cardassians love to talk'. But when it comes to ISFPs..... Arghhhhh!

    Is it just me or is it all of us?

    I have an ISFP friend. And every time anyone talks to him he just loses his tongue.

    This is an example as to how annoying it is to talk to my ISFP friend.

    He - (Enthusiastically) i saw a girl at my bio lecture.
    I - yeah is she cute?
    He - yes, but.........
    I - but what?
    He- she is, you know, she is............... she went
    I - (PISSED OFF) she WHAT???????
    He -i was.... when she got.....
    I -(EXTREMELY ANNOYED) you were what????? about to squeeze her butt???
    He - Noooooooooooooooooooooo. i went..... then .... the lecturer
    I -ohhhh you went to talk to her?
    He -YESSSSS!!!
    I - but then the lecturer came???
    He -yes, yes, yes
    I - so you couldn't talk to her?
    He -yes.. and she was wearing green and you know, you know.... and ... you
    I - (completely lost and infuriated) what the???
    He - stares at me and smiles
    I -ohhh you were gonna comment about what she was wearing because it was beautiful?.
    but when you were going to say hi, the lecturer came so you went and sat?
    after the lecture she quickly left, so you couldn't talk to her?
    He - happily nods as if he nailed the girl.
    3 years later he still hasn't spoken to her.

    Gosh I get so annoyed when talking to ISFPs.

    Ps: we have been friends for about 5 years.

    so yes. the answer to your question is yes.

  2. #2
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    It sounds like you keep interrupting him. If someone was annoyed and pressuring me in a conversation I wouldn't talk either. What's would be the point? To help that person not feel annoyed? It would take a saint to care that much.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

    I want to be just like my mother, even if she is bat-shit crazy.

  3. #3
    Riva
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    Quote Originally Posted by toonia View Post
    It sounds like you keep interrupting him. If someone was annoyed and pressuring me in a conversation I wouldn't talk either. What's would be the point? To help that person not feel annoyed? It would take a saint to care that much.
    Oh believ me when i say this, i am extremely patient when i talk to him.
    I keep about a 10 second gap before talking back.
    And mind you a 10 second gap in the middle of any conversation (unless it is a teenage romantic one) is extremely long (long enough).

  4. #4
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Curzon View Post
    Oh believ me when i say this, i am extremely patient when i talk to him.
    I keep about a 10 second gap before talking back.
    And mind you a 10 second gap in the middle of any conversation (unless it is a teenage romantic one) is extremely long (long enough).
    Why do you talk to him? If someone has a particular way of talking, and you have a desire to communicate, then if a 10 second gap is not long enough, wait 20 seconds or 30. You can say 10 seconds is long enough, but that doesn't make it true for him. If your goal is to communicate the only option is to adapt in a realistic way. Maybe he won't ever communicate the way you like. You can't force it.

    I do know for people who are extremely introverted and who take a long time to think through and formulate their words, external pressure and distraction will slow down that process, not speed it up.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

    I want to be just like my mother, even if she is bat-shit crazy.

  5. #5
    Riva
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    Quote Originally Posted by toonia View Post
    Why do you talk to him? If someone has a particular way of talking, and you have a desire to communicate, then if a 10 second gap is not long enough, wait 20 seconds or 30. You can say 10 seconds is long enough, but that doesn't make it true for him. If your goal is to communicate the only option is to adapt in a realistic way. Maybe he won't ever communicate the way you like. You can't force it.

    I do know for people who are extremely introverted and who take a long time to think through and formulate their words, external pressure and distraction will slow down that process, not speed it up.
    okay let me give you another example.

    *Me, While driving him home*
    I : From where do I turn.
    He : *Looks blank and stupid* you just passed it.

    ^ actually this happened to one of my friends while he was driving. He, I and the ISFP guy was in the car. I just wrote it that way for convenience.

  6. #6
    Twerking & Lurking ayoitsStepho's Avatar
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    If anything, its possible he just doesnt know how to get his thoughts out onto words. I can have that problem and it irritates me so bad. I feel like I'm an idiot because I simply cant get things from my head to my mouth. Of coarse I'm learning how to express myself in spoken words better and I'm doing much better. But still, I have those moments where my brain freezes and I cannot display what I wanted to.
    Its a real pain in the butt.
    Quote Originally Posted by MacGuffin View Post
    ayoitsStepho is becoming someone else. Actually her true self, a rite of passage.

  7. #7
    Riva
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    Quote Originally Posted by ayoitsStepho View Post
    If anything, its possible he just doesnt know how to get his thoughts out onto words. I can have that problem and it irritates me so bad. I feel like I'm an idiot because I simply cant get things from my head to my mouth. Of coarse I'm learning how to express myself in spoken words better and I'm doing much better. But still, I have those moments where my brain freezes and I cannot display what I wanted to.
    Its a real pain in the butt.
    You just proved that I was correct. *kicks toonia's posts*

    I am sorry to hear that. I used to be like that when i was much much younger. I still have it a bit, where my words just stop. Then I use Metaphors and examples. Helps a lot.

    I am not quite sure this would work for everyone tho.

  8. #8
    Twerking & Lurking ayoitsStepho's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Curzon View Post
    You just proved that I was correct. *kicks toonia's posts*

    I am sorry to hear that. I used to be like that when i was much much younger. I still have it a bit, where my words just stop. Then I use Metaphors and examples. Helps a lot.

    I am not quite sure this would work for everyone tho.
    Well I'm not sure if this is just a ME problem, or if it pertains to other ISFPs. I'm alot better at expressing myself through works. Like art, music, writting and dance. Speaking on the other hand...not so good. I guess it doesn't help that whenever I talk at home, everybody ignores me. So I think I've just stopped communicating verbally to people because nobody really listens. And thats a fact, not something I've made up. Like, yesterday I only said one sentence the whole day. "I'd like a steak please." Other than I just don't speak too often.

    Metaphors do help at times, but for some bizarre reason the people I know aren't into abstract thinking in that way. Its very, just tell me the facts and leave me be. So you can imagine someone like myself isn't too understood at home in that way.
    Quote Originally Posted by MacGuffin View Post
    ayoitsStepho is becoming someone else. Actually her true self, a rite of passage.

  9. #9
    Riva
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    Quote Originally Posted by ayoitsStepho View Post
    Metaphors do help at times, but for some bizarre reason the people I know aren't into abstract thinking in that way. Its very, just tell me the facts and leave me be. So you can imagine someone like myself isn't too understood at home in that way.
    Use examples, Don't use complicated abstract psycho babble.

  10. #10
    Twerking & Lurking ayoitsStepho's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Curzon View Post
    Use examples, Don't use complicated abstract psycho babble.
    Lol, if only I was that wise to use that babble xD Maybe when I talk it sends off a single to everyone to shut their ears off. *shrugs* who knows. I am working on it though. So obviously its working some how.
    I'm pretty sure confidence plays a key in it. Is your friend very confident at all?
    Quote Originally Posted by MacGuffin View Post
    ayoitsStepho is becoming someone else. Actually her true self, a rite of passage.

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