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  1. #1
    Junior Member browneyes94's Avatar
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    Red face ESTP and ISTJ Relationship

    I've tried searching for posts like this, but they're old ones so i've decided to create a new one Heh.

    Any of you experienced this?
    If yes, please describe as much as you can
    If not, try and predict how it'd be like?


  2. #2
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    Estp girl, istj male = DON'T DO IT, MAN!!!!

    Nightmare. He never listened to me and hurt my feelings constantly (yes I had feelings, maybe it's his fault I'm a T, J/K)

    I always felt unsatisfied because he never wanted to go out or do anything out of fear because there were no plans.

    He interested me because he was mysterious and challenging for me but eventually I was just exhausted and unfulfilled because he was not nearly as active as me.

    Nice guy but... not compatible in the least. Makes a GREAT friend, though

    ETA: I see you're the ISTJ and you're a girl. He is going to drive you insane and things will be quite frustrating unless you work through those things up front. The beginning is fun though.

  3. #3
    Senior Member simpleamazement's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by browneyes94 View Post

    Any of you experienced this?
    If yes, please describe as much as you can
    If not, try and predict how it'd be like?
    I haven't been in a long-term relationship with a ESTP female, but I've dated a few. They are really good for making you feel comfortable and at ease. I'd much rather be with a ESTP than a SJ, but of course it depends on other things like how healthy they are, etc.

    I have a cousin in his mid-30's. He's a ISTJ married to a ESTP. They seem happy. They've been married for quite awhile 10+ years.

    I had a ESTP chasing me like whoa, but I had to turn her down due to many reasons which I'm not going to list here...but you can imagine troublesome ESTPs.


    Quote Originally Posted by ESTPgirl View Post
    Estp girl, istj male = DON'T DO IT, MAN!!!!

    Nightmare. He never listened to me and hurt my feelings constantly (yes I had feelings, maybe it's his fault I'm a T, J/K)

    I always felt unsatisfied because he never wanted to go out or do anything out of fear because there were no plans.

    He interested me because he was mysterious and challenging for me but eventually I was just exhausted and unfulfilled because he was not nearly as active as me.

    Nice guy but... not compatible in the least. Makes a GREAT friend, though

    ETA: I see you're the ISTJ and you're a girl. He is going to drive you insane and things will be quite frustrating unless you work through those things up front. The beginning is fun though.
    No, wrong wrong. At least for me. That's sad he never wanted to go out and do anything, well I go out all the time, I don't always plan things...as a matter of fact it's a Friday night and I'd love to have someone (like maybe an ESTP?) to go out on an adventure with...I'm tired of going to bars or wherever by myself.

  4. #4
    Artisan Conquerer Halla74's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ESTPgirl View Post
    Estp girl, istj male = DON'T DO IT, MAN!!!!

    Nightmare. He never listened to me and hurt my feelings constantly (yes I had feelings, maybe it's his fault I'm a T, J/K)

    I always felt unsatisfied because he never wanted to go out or do anything out of fear because there were no plans.

    He interested me because he was mysterious and challenging for me but eventually I was just exhausted and unfulfilled because he was not nearly as active as me.

    Nice guy but... not compatible in the least. Makes a GREAT friend, though

    ETA: I see you're the ISTJ and you're a girl. He is going to drive you insane and things will be quite frustrating unless you work through those things up front. The beginning is fun though.
    E/I differences are either (1) a huge problem, or (2) no problem at all. THere doesn't appear to be a middle ground.

    For me, communicating with Feelers is like cutting off my big toes with cereal spoons.

  5. #5
    PEST that STEPs on PETS stellar renegade's Avatar
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    hah, PEST! So clever, Halla! And yet so true.

    Hm, can't tell you about it from a dating standpoint, but I can tell you about it from a friendship standpoint. I had a coworker who was an ISTJ. We slightly got on each others' nerves but only in some respects. I was basically careless and liked to make work a big party. He liked to have fun but was serious about getting the work done as soon as possible. That's where we annoyed each other just a bit - I obviously annoyed him by being apathetic about the job and he annoyed me just a bit by acting somewhat like I was being childish. It's strange, though, he was less assuming about it while others showed some kind of resentment. He could care less what I was actually like as long as I worked enough so that we wouldn't have too much pressure at the end of the day.

    Other than that, though, we got along well. He had a very dry sense of humor, lots of irrelevant puns and came off kinda nerdy but I usually ignore stuff like that to let the good times roll. We laughed alot about the stupid actions of others, including ourselves.

    But it's so true, he didn't do much. If he had to do very much more than what he had been planning he seemed to feel very put out. He would say he had to be somewhere in two hours so he couldn't give me a ride to my apartment five minutes away.

    I think one of my other coworkers was an ESTP, and he'd give me a ride even if he had to be somewhere fifteen minutes ago. hahaha! It was crazy because most people aren't like that, but in another way it seemed normal to me because that's what I'd do. Meseri (INFJ) would often ask if I needed a ride sometimes I think because he wanted to talk or have me listen to a cd he liked, etc and because he likes doing things for people. If there was somewhere he had to be, though, he would decline.
    -stellar renegade
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  6. #6
    Mud and rain and chaos... TickTock's Avatar
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    I know an ESTP male and an ISTJ female couple that have been together for a long time. It seems to work that she values his social abilities and he values her pragmatic organisation. In those respects they both lack what the other has. I've always thought it would have ended without that to be honest, but Im not the one in the relationship so I don't know, they obviously care about each other.
    ~ Truth ~ Freedom ~ Health ~ Love ~ Communication ~ Humor ~ Respect ~

  7. #7
    Senior Member defragmybrain's Avatar
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    i'm an ESFP with an ISTJ boyfriend. working great so far. his structure is attractive and my openmindedness is attractive to him. he's got some stiff habits that i can handle, so far.
    - From your fun-loving ESFP.
    Se/Fi/Te/Ni, 44% E / 88% S / 62% F / 67% P

    http://badges.mypersonality.info/badge/0/18/182571.png

  8. #8
    Lallygag Moderator Geoff's Avatar
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    Type isnt a good basis on which to determine a relationship, but finding a balance between the SP rebelliousness and the SJ need for order and structure will be... fun. Might be novel for both, or a big headache.

  9. #9
    PEST that STEPs on PETS stellar renegade's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by defragmybrain View Post
    i'm an ESFP with an ISTJ boyfriend. working great so far. his structure is attractive and my openmindedness is attractive to him. he's got some stiff habits that i can handle, so far.
    Hey, that's your perfect mate according to Keirsey Theory.

    But if you ever need anything on the side, well...
    -stellar renegade
    coo-oo-ooool this madness down,
    stop it right on tiiiiime!


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  10. #10
    Pumpernickel
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    I think its a great match.

    My sister (ESTP) has an ISTJ husband, and I also know another couple with these types.

    From what I've observed in these two couples, the ESTP woman tends to bring the ISTJ man out of his shell and he generally admires her socialibility and her carefree attitude while also appreciating her intelligence. She, on the other hand, tends to think he's incredibly smart and very manly in his structured ways and has a ton of respect for him.

    She (my sister) has someone take over the organizational shit and the stuff that needs to get done, like taxes, while he has someone who maintains their relationships with their friends and who helps him relax generally.

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