[SP] Friends With Cuddling Benefits?

[Salomé]

SPs and SFJs seem to like cuddling the most, regardless of gender . The only women I've ever known who don't like non-sexual physical affection are NT women, and a few ST women (especially STJ).

I wonder if T brains/nervous systems have a differently calibrated reward system? Seems feasible.

That said, cuddling should not be expected to lead to sex. Men need to be upfront if they want more than cuddling, and women should be clear when cuddling is all there will be. Nobody can read minds. Funny how much can be cleared up when people communicate.

Agreed, but that's much more easily said than done.

Plus the ambiguity / unresolved sexual tension is half the fun, if people are honest.

 

[man]

Cuddling is lame. Making out at minimum or GTFO.

 

[Charmed Justice]

It's up there somewhere.

Asked an INTJ, and they sent me this. I'm not seeing that small area of the brain you're talking about though.

And a few more, on the house!

Ha! Thanks.And speaking of drinks on the house. How does drinking and cuddling work out for you?

So what do you do thats within your power?

Avoid to avert. It was always the best way for me. There's really no stopping me once the ball is rolling.

That said, cuddling should not be expected to lead to sex. Men need to be upfront if they want more than cuddling, and women should be clear when cuddling is all there will be. Nobody can read minds. Funny how much can be cleared up when people communicate.

All of this.

Cuddling is essentially going through steps 1-8/12 in establishing a sexual relationship. I assume you could keep going through the steps with one person without going beyond step 8, but I think it would be hard for most men and women. Communication, in that case, is def important.

 

[Quinlan]

...I'm so not down with this! Now I love physical touch, I love cuddling, I love that physical closeness with another...but I 100% associate this with someone I'm romantically interested in. It's totally, irrevocably connected. I touch/cuddle *because* I have feelings for someone and am involved with them. It's an extension of my feelings.

+1 this ^.

 

[Poki]

Avoid to avert. It was always the best way for me. There's really no stopping me once the ball is rolling.

 

[EffEmDoubleyou]

It just sounds like playing with fire to me. It's another of the many examples that our reasoned notions of what is "fair" do not trump biology. You can't win a debate against glands.

 

[Poki]

It just sounds like playing with fire to me. It's another of the many examples that our reasoned notions of what is "fair" do not trump biology. You can't win a debate against glands.

Try me :SaiyanSmilie_anim: No but you can play with them:yim_rolling_on_the_

 

[redacted]

Yeah I had a cuddle buddy once for a few months. We finally hooked up once and I got weirded out and withdrew from the friendship. Then she decided to hate me and tried to get all of our mutual friends to hate me, because supposedly, it was more my fault than hers.

 

[Pristinegirl]

Aww cuddling

I cuddle with basically all of my friends

 

[Metamorphosis]

Wow. Fuck cuddling without getting anything else. Do guys actually do this without wanting to sleep with her or is it just a getting the best you can arrangement?

 

[Poki]

Try me :SaiyanSmilie_anim: No but you can play with them:yim_rolling_on_the_

I think Stellar is rubbing off on me

 

[redacted]

Wow. Fuck cuddling without getting anything else. Do guys actually do this without wanting to sleep with her or is it just a getting the best you can arrangement?

When I did this, it was because I wanted to sleep with her but didn't want to ruin the friendship (she felt the same). So it was an awful halfway zone that eventually led to hooking up and the friendship ending.

The only thing is that once you're in a situation where you can cuddle (the precedent has already been set), you're always going to rather cuddle than not cuddle if you're sleeping in the same room. It's torturous, but the short term usually trumps the long term anyways.

But yeah, I doubt it will ever be a stable relationship for anyone unless neither person is attracted to the other (but then the motivation for cuddling in the first place is greatly reduced).

 

[Poki]

Cuddling is essentially going through steps 1-8/12 in establishing a sexual relationship. I assume you could keep going through the steps with one person without going beyond step 8, but I think it would be hard for most men and women. Communication, in that case, is def important.

So what are the steps?

 

[ayoitsStepho]

mmm actually my cuddling wants over power my sexual wants....and my sexual wants are high to begin with. So I DO want to cuddle, but I'm always thinking of he consequences of that, so I've never cuddled anyone. If I'm desperate, I cuddle my pillow.
As for being able to control those wants and/or needs I'm pretty good and shutting them off. I've done it plenty of times. If I know its not going to lead anywhere good, I shut down the want and back up. So its possible to control it and to be back to 'normal'

 

[Charmed Justice]

So what are the steps?

The Twelve Steps of Bonding

1. Eye to Body.
2. Eye to Eye.
3. Voice to Voice
4. Hand to Hand.
5. Hand to Shoulder.
6. Hand to Waist.
7. Face to Face.
8. Hand to Head.

9-12.
* (9) Hand to Body,
* (10) Mouth to Breast,
* (11) Touching Below the Waist, and
* (12) Intercourse.

 

[Metamorphosis]

I would suspect that blue balls would be unbearable.

 

[proteanmix]

Oh yeah I forgot to add.

Ladies an easy way to cuddle without expectation of more is to do it with your gay husband. In that respect, I am a polyandrist.

 

[A Schnitzel]

I've never heard of this idea before I read the OP.
I don't quite understand it, but if others are happy with it why not?

 

[Salomé]

Yeah I had a cuddle buddy once for a few months. We finally hooked up once and I got weirded out and withdrew from the friendship. Then she decided to hate me and tried to get all of our mutual friends to hate me, because supposedly, it was more my fault than hers.

How could you being weirded out and withdrawing be anyone else's fault?

 

[Gewitter27]

I don't really have any female friends (The fairer sex is fairly frightened of me), and only 1 or 2 (Depends on what you count) male friends. Me not being homosexual, I would not like this, or like to do this.