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  1. #51
    Freshman Member simulatedworld's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    Human biology also wired us to be social, to need each others company, and not just for mating. To seek comfort in one another, in times of need. Just to feel close to someone. Some are more prone to this need than others, but it's still there. I get why it gets confused with the mating process, as part of it appears in there too. But it shouldn't drive us to make that part only exclusive to the mating process. That just robs us of an incredibly social tool, meant to further our well-being and happiness, and alleviate stress which ultimately is harmfull. We'd be mad not to use this evolutionary tool, imo.
    Many people find sex to be equally stress-relieving if not moreso. I mentioned NFP women specifically because (with the possible exception of SFJs), you are by far the most likely group to take moral issue with sex outside of love and/or be offended when men show sexual interest while not caring about you personally.

    P.S.,

    Human sex drive is much, much, much stronger than human cuddle drive.
    If you could be anything you want, I bet you'd be disappointed--am I right?

  2. #52
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Having a preference as to stress aliviation doesn't mean exclusion of other methods. Or other people's preferences.

    I'm going to ignore your NFP remarks from now on, as I'm a bit tired of hearing them over and over again. You're basing this on your own experiences, and that's fine, but I cannot say they apply to me, so I cannot comment properly on them.
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  3. #53

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    wait, huh? I was about to post and brag about my cuddling partner but there's some kinda argument and I didn't want to seem like an idiot if I didn't acknowledge it

  4. #54
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by warm8 View Post
    wait, huh? I was about to post and brag about my cuddling partner but there's some kinda argument and I didn't want to seem like an idiot if I didn't acknowledge it
    Plz post your story, maybe it'll rerail the convo
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  5. #55
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    I stopped reading the responses after I could tell the thread was going in a certain direction, but I could be wrong cause I stopped reading.

    For those women arguing that they should be able to have non-sexual affection with a man who they are not in a relationship with and the guy shouldn't reasonably expect anything more (SEX) I really find that to be a incredulously naive POV. I think your best bet is to buy a teddy bear.

    Women get more benefits from cuddling (everything from lessening depression to strengthening the heart) than men do, actually it does very little for them. I'm not denying a woman's greater need for non-sexual affection, I just think realistically if you're cuddling up with someone who's not your SO and it's a guy he's going to expect some pony up after awhile because he is being used in a way.

    As CaptainChick so eloquently brought up, does cuddling with other women produce the same effect or is it specifically guys?
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
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  6. #56
    Freshman Member simulatedworld's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    Having a preference as to stress aliviation doesn't mean exclusion of other methods. Or other people's preferences.

    I'm going to ignore your NFP remarks from now on, as I'm a bit tired of hearing them over and over again. You're basing this on your own experiences, and that's fine, but I cannot say they apply to me, so I cannot comment properly on them.
    lol right. Sorry, I meant "NFP women except for amargith."

    You really don't think they apply to you? :yim_rolling_on_the_:yim_rolling_on_the_

    Honestly, virtually all of your responses in this thread are classic NFP female. I'm not telling you to change that; just pointing out an obvious trend.


    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    I stopped reading the responses after I could tell the thread was going in a certain direction, but I could be wrong cause I stopped reading.

    For those women arguing that they should be able to have non-sexual affection with a man who they are not in a relationship with and the guy shouldn't reasonably expect anything more (SEX) I really find that to be a incredulously naive POV. I think your best bet is to buy a teddy bear.

    Women get more benefits from cuddling (everything from lessening depression to strengthening the heart) than men do, actually it does very little for them. I'm not denying a woman's greater need for non-sexual affection, I just think realistically if you're cuddling up with someone who's not your SO and it's a guy he's going to expect some pony up after awhile because he is being used in a way.

    As CaptainChick so eloquently brought up, does cuddling with other women produce the same effect or is it specifically guys?
    For once I completely agree. This is a great example of how much more practical/realistic NFJs can be.
    If you could be anything you want, I bet you'd be disappointed--am I right?

  7. #57

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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    Plz post your story, maybe it'll rerail the convo
    oh, well she was my girlfriend for a while, but we just stressed each other out a lot. now we're basically the closest of friends (you know, minus the stressing out) but with intimate cuddling, i love yous, and beyond that.

  8. #58
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    I stopped reading the responses after I could tell the thread was going in a certain direction, but I could be wrong cause I stopped reading.

    For those women arguing that they should be able to have non-sexual affection with a man who they are not in a relationship with and the guy shouldn't reasonably expect anything more (SEX) I really find that to be a incredulously naive POV. I think your best bet is to buy a teddy bear.

    Women get more benefits from cuddling (everything from lessening depression to strengthening the heart) than men do, actually it does very little for them. I'm not denying a woman's greater need for non-sexual affection, I just think realistically if you're cuddling up with someone who's not your SO and it's a guy he's going to expect some pony up after awhile because he is being used in a way.

    As CaptainChick so eloquently brought up, does cuddling with other women produce the same effect or is it specifically guys?
    I think it's stronger with men. At least it is, ime, with the exception of being comforted when emotionally upset. Think it has something to do with the fact that the presence of a man tend to stabilize our hormones and moodswings. If I remember correctly, they have some pheromone stuff that does that or something. I'd have to look it up.

    As for your other point, I've never had a problem with it. In fact, I've found guys being quite receptive to it and often initiating it themselves while fully well knowing nothing was going to happen.
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  9. #59
    Freshman Member simulatedworld's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    As for your other point, I've never had a problem with it. In fact, I've found guys being quite receptive to it and often initiating it themselves while fully well knowing nothing was going to happen.
    This could be at least partially because you specifically seek out this type of man for friendship, don't you think? Your sample may be biased.
    If you could be anything you want, I bet you'd be disappointed--am I right?

  10. #60
    Nickle Iron Silicone Charmed Justice's Avatar
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    Depends on what type of cuddling. I personally was never one to cuddle up to a man, in a bed, or on a couch, unless I was expecting to take things further.

    I don't think being intimately cuddly would work for me. For one, because being spooned or comfy under the covers with a hot guy friend(and they're all hot), would/would've turned me completely on and my impulse control once the ball gets rolling is essentially nill. And two, most of my guy friends are the same way.
    There is a thinking stuff from which all things are made, and which, in its original state, permeates, penetrates, and fills the interspaces of the universe.

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