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  1. #31
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by simulatedworld View Post
    Even if you didn't mean to, you're the one being misleading by saying you want to cuddle. That tends to imply that you want some kind of sexual relationship...you didn't really think they just wanted to cuddle, did you?
    That's just a female-male misunderstanding. You guys are driven by testosterone= sex. Women by oxytocine= cuddles.

    Yes. Cuddles are more important to us than sex. Sex is optional. So no, we're not misleading you guys anymore than you are misleading us. If we say 'cuddles', we mean 'cuddles'
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  2. #32
    12 and a half weeks BerberElla's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by simulatedworld View Post
    Even if you didn't mean to, you're the one being misleading by saying you want to cuddle. That tends to imply that you want some kind of sexual relationship...you didn't really think they just wanted to cuddle, did you?

    Why not though? I did, and if I can feel one way, isn't there a lottery chance that someone else will feel the same?
    Echo - "So are you trying to say she is Evil"

    DeWitt - "Something far worse, she's an Idealist"

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  3. #33
    Freshman Member simulatedworld's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    That's just a female-male misunderstanding. You guys are driven by testosterone= sex. Women by oxytocine= cuddles.

    Yes. Cuddles are more important to us than sex. Sex is optional. So no, we're not misleading you guys anymore than you are misleading us. If we say 'cuddles', we mean 'cuddles'
    lol maybe to you. I'd be hard pressed to find any of my female friends who would give up sex before giving up cuddling.

    I think it's a uniquely NFP female thing, honestly. You have to understand that most people don't really want to just cuddle, regardless of gender, so you should be able to anticipate that.


    Quote Originally Posted by BerberElla View Post
    Why not though? I did, and if I can feel one way, isn't there a lottery chance that someone else will feel the same?
    Sure, if you're an NFP lesbian.
    If you could be anything you want, I bet you'd be disappointed--am I right?

  4. #34
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by simulatedworld View Post
    lol maybe to you. I'd be hard pressed to find any of my female friends who would give up sex before giving up cuddling.

    I think it's a uniquely NFP female thing, honestly. You have to understand that most people don't really want to just cuddle, regardless of gender, so you should be able to anticipate that.




    Sure, if you're an NFP lesbian.
    Personally, I find it a little tiring that men tend to lie about their intentions of wanting a relationship when they just wanna get into your pants, and all it gets is frustration, frowned upon and a: oh well, that's what men do.

    Whereas, when women act upon their impulses, which is to find safety and security aka oxytocine overdose, they're evil misleading temptresses.

    This has nothing to do with NFP. It's oxytocine. We all have that. Maybe NFPs, because of their 'screw society and it's ridiculous rules' and 'I enjoy being close to someone' attitude shows it more. But it's still a part of being a woman.
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  5. #35
    Freshman Member simulatedworld's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    Personally, I find it a little tiring that men tend to lie about their intentions of wanting a relationship when they just wanna get into your pants, and all it gets is frustration, frowned upon and a: oh well, that's what men do.

    Whereas, when women act upon their impulses, which is to find safety and security aka oxytocine overdose, they're evil misleading temptresses.

    This has nothing to do with NFP. It's oxytocine. We all have that. Maybe NFPs, because of their 'screw society and it's ridiculous rules' and 'I enjoy being close to someone' attitude shows it more. But it's still a part of being a woman.

    That's a false stereotype that I think you continue to perpetuate largely because it's true for you personally. Honestly, it's really not true for most women that I know well enough to talk about sex/relationships; in fact, many are irritated by the fact that the whole "women don't like sex, they just wanna get to know you!" stereotype exists.

    A lot more women are into sex for its own sake than you think. Many don't feel able to be open about this largely because whimsical hopeless romantic-type women will judge them implicitly for it--e.g., the whole OMG YOU ARE LAME AND SHALLOW IF YOU HAVE SEX WITHOUT BEING IN LOVE!!!! idealist crap. (And yes, this has a lot to do with NFP--it's most often NFP women who, based on arbitrary Fi standards, spread the idea that sex in the absence of love is somehow a bad thing.)

    Oh, and men wouldn't have to lie to you if you didn't arbitrarily insist on true love before sex. Most people don't; you're in the minority here.
    If you could be anything you want, I bet you'd be disappointed--am I right?

  6. #36
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by simulatedworld View Post
    That's a false stereotype that I think you continue to perpetuate largely because it's true for you personally. Honestly, it's really not true for most women that I know well enough to talk about sex/relationships; in fact, many are irritated by the fact that the whole "women don't like sex, they just wanna get to know you!" stereotype exists.

    A lot more women are into sex for its own sake than you think.

    Oh, and men wouldn't have to lie to you if you didn't arbitrarily insist on true love before sex. Most people don't; you're in the minority here.
    Judging me before you know me, sweety. I'm all for sex, hell I love sex, and no I don't need the magical connection for it. Stop making it personal.

    It's the general attitude that bugs me. The frigging double standard were we roll our eyes at a man high on his hormones, coz boys will be boys, and the gossiping and sniping at a woman who pretty much just follows her instincts the same way but is duped evil and manipulative etc for it.
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  7. #37
    12 and a half weeks BerberElla's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by simulatedworld View Post
    lol maybe to you. I'd be hard pressed to find any of my female friends who would give up sex before giving up cuddling.

    I think it's a uniquely NFP female thing, honestly. You have to understand that most people don't really want to just cuddle, regardless of gender, so you should be able to anticipate that.




    Sure, if you're an NFP lesbian.
    Wrong, last night my conversation with my ESFP friend was actually about just being able to cuddle minus any sexual follow on, and about friends (male ones) she has that she can do that with.

    She is no NFP lesbian.
    Echo - "So are you trying to say she is Evil"

    DeWitt - "Something far worse, she's an Idealist"

    Berb's Johari Berb's Nohari

  8. #38
    Freshman Member simulatedworld's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BerberElla View Post
    Wrong, last night my conversation with my ESFP friend was actually about just being able to cuddle minus any sexual follow on, and about friends (male ones) she has that she can do that with.

    She is no NFP lesbian.
    That's called a joke. Surely you don't think I believe that NFP lesbians are the only people who feel this way.

    Point being, cuddling is physically intimate so when you engage in it with someone you're (intentionally or not) implying that you want a physically intimate relationship, and that typically implies sex, so don't be surprised when people think that's where you're going with it.


    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    Judging me before you know me, sweety. I'm all for sex, hell I love sex, and no I don't need the magical connection for it. Stop making it personal.

    It's the general attitude that bugs me. The frigging double standard were we roll our eyes at a man high on his hormones, coz boys will be boys, and the gossiping and sniping at a woman who pretty much just follows her instincts the same way but is duped evil and manipulative etc for it.
    I agree that the sexual double standard is silly. I also think it's kind of funny that you don't recognize how these "OMG MEN ARE SUCH PERVS FOR WANTING SEX WITH US WHEN WE JUST WANT TO CUDDLE" threads contribute directly to it--you're pissing in your own bathwater and then complaining that it's yellow.
    If you could be anything you want, I bet you'd be disappointed--am I right?

  9. #39
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BerberElla View Post
    Wrong, last night my conversation with my ESFP friend was actually about just being able to cuddle minus any sexual follow on, and about friends (male ones) she has that she can do that with.

    She is no NFP lesbian.
    I actually had the same experience in college. Guys actually telling me that they were lonely and that they'd just enjoy being cuddled already, sex not even being needed. They'd also ask me if they could with me, as they knew I was kinda affectionate myself and wouldn't take it the wrong way. I always enjoyed that experience
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  10. #40
    12 and a half weeks BerberElla's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by simulatedworld View Post
    That's called a joke. Surely you don't think I believe that NFP lesbians are the only people who feel this way.

    Point being, cuddling is physically intimate so when you engage in it with someone you're (intentionally or not) implying that you want a physically intimate relationship, and that typically implies sex, so don't be surprised when people think that's where you're going with it.
    I'm not, my "misleading bastards" was also a joke.

    It would just be nice to have some male friends where it wasn't an issue, I AM an idealist you know.
    Echo - "So are you trying to say she is Evil"

    DeWitt - "Something far worse, she's an Idealist"

    Berb's Johari Berb's Nohari

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