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  1. #11
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by spamtar View Post
    Don't do it. Its called being a "cuddle bitch". Its fun at the beginning but it will soon give you blue balls from hell. The women who lead you on this way are heartless ningas.
    PLEASE TELL ME YOU ARE JOKING!!!!
    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

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  2. #12
    The Architect Alwar's Avatar
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    I've had two of these. One was completely addicted to cuddling and insisted constantly that I hold her. The other led to a relationship.

  3. #13
    The Architect Alwar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by spamtar View Post
    Don't do it! Its called being a "cuddle bitch".
    Interesting theory, this seems related to the "emotional tampon" hypothesis.

  4. #14
    Ghost Monkey Soul Vizconde's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CaptainChick View Post
    PLEASE TELL ME YOU ARE JOKING!!!!
    Nuh uh only when you are on XTC or mushrooms. I was recently a "cuddle bitch" myself and had to cut off the girl cold until she called and I could tell her buying tempature was high enough to let her come over for sex. It was a close call at losing a FWB forever. See below:

    "Cuddle Bitches
    cuddle bitch(n) - a guy who never gets to sleep with a girl but gets to have intimate moments with her like cuddling, spooning, or otherwise being affectionate. Usually this will occur in private. She probably considers him a really sweet guy, which is the kiss of death.

    First off, cuddle bitches are bad, bad things to be. Maybe the worst thing to be. I mean, being an Intellectual Whore is bad, but being an Intellectual Whore who has to endure blue-balls is bordering on criminal.

    As to how it fits into the framework of the ladder.

    Basically this is just a guy who has a very high position on the friends ladder. So far up the friends ladder that he gets the dubious honor of getting to provide all the intimacy that a girl is missing when she's off fucking guys who basically don't care about her like outlaw bikers and band members. So he gets to be the proxy father/confessor/friend/teddy bear for her, depending on what she is missing at the time. Perhaps the only consolation of this is a ladder jump to the real ladder seems statistically a little more likely to succeed. Of course, when one is that high up the fall is dreadful indeed...


    How do we know this? Well, if a woman had a nice loving boyfriend then he would be doing all the cuddling and whatnot and likely wouldn't stand for a woman maintaining a stable of cuddle bitches. Unless he's completelty pussified, in which case she's likely fucking some other people anyway.

    For guys unacquainted with Ladder Theory, it is even worse. The cuddle bitch often thinks he is on the good ladder as opposed to the real ladder. So he gets all excited about his position instead of realizing he is being completely used. So this poor tool is really setting himself up for a fall at that point.

    Note: This does not apply if cuddling under the influence of mushrooms, for the express purposes of avoiding hypothermia, or if the woman is a whore that you've recently paid for sex. Cuddling is perfectly acceptable and probably non-sexual in these circumstances."
    I redact everything I have written or will write on this forum prior to, subsequent with and or after the fact of its writing. For entertainment purposes only and not to be taken seriously nor literally.

    Quote Originally Posted by Edgar View Post
    Spamtar - a strange combination of boorish drunkeness and erudite discussions, or what I call "an Irish academic"

  5. #15
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    Oy Vey!
    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

    Ride si sapis

    Intelligentle sparkles

  6. #16
    The Architect Alwar's Avatar
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    According to neurobiologist Louann Brizendine, cuddling releases oxytocin and endorphins in the female brain. To end the cycle just replace cuddles with chocolate, which have the same effect.

  7. #17
    Twerking & Lurking ayoitsStepho's Avatar
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    but i want to cuddle....
    screw chocolate.
    Quote Originally Posted by MacGuffin View Post
    ayoitsStepho is becoming someone else. Actually her true self, a rite of passage.

  8. #18
    Allergic to Mornings ergophobe's Avatar
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    Good in theory, bad in practice. I don't like confusing relationships...

  9. #19
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quoting the ladder theory automatically puts you on the friend ladder. Scratch that - it puts you on the creep ladder.

    Quote Originally Posted by Alwar View Post
    According to neurobiologist Louann Brizendine, cuddling releases oxytocin and endorphins in the female brain. To end the cycle just replace cuddles with chocolate, which have the same effect.
    But cuddling doesn't make you fat.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  10. #20
    The Architect Alwar's Avatar
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    I made the last part up. It was either chocolate or some cheesy shoe store comment. There is no way to thwart cuddle requests from the human female. There are techniques to get around it but I am obligated by manlaw not to reveal the knowledge of the brotherhood in public.

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