^Really? Ok. In that case, I cuddle all the time. I mean, I ride on my really tall guy friend's backs still. Sometimes I'll sit on one of their knees. When I think of cuddling though..cuddle buddying...I'm thinking of spooning. I'm thinking of being under the covers with them, in a full embrace, with jammies on, stroking their hair. That's how I define cuddling.
To me thats more playful. I really dont see a problem with cuddling. Its a nice feeling on its own. Your example of cuddling buddy to me fits what I say, except not as full of an embrace. To me I see no difference other than more parts of the body touch.
I am a skin to skin person and would probably take a little longer to get used to skin to skin. But once you get past that initial awkwardness it all goes away. I honestly dont see why things always have to have some predefined end point.
Maybe I am simplifying cuddling to much. I can cuddle with my 5 year old son. I simply put my arm around him as we lay on the couch. The difference is all in your head.
Picture that your laying in front of the couch and a friend of the opposite sex comes up and lays in front of you. You put your arm around her and watch TV together. That is cuddling, nothing more nothings less. So are you saying that anytime someone of the opposite sex lays next to you you think that something has to happen?
Well I personally wouldn't put my arm around her. I would to a son though.
And exactly, the difference IS all in your head. In my head a certain kind of physical intimacy is reserved to those whom I love. And I mean really love...not the friend kind of love.
I am not saying something has to happen when two people cuddle with each other. But I choose to take intimacy somewhat seriously. If you kissed every friend of the opposite sex on the mouth that didn't necessarily mean you'd ever have sex with them would it? But by reserving that honor to only one person (or a couple of people if you happen to kiss your kids on the lips like some people do) you are saying "you are special to me". It's about communication really.
Maybe it's my Ti but I see everything intertwined. There is a reason why some people think fucking can be just fucking, and some that say fucking => love and some that love <=> fucking ...etc For some, there doesn't have to be some grand meaning behind certain things and that is ok. I can respect that. But coherence is key, for me. If I'm not coherent I can't expect other people to know what I mean when I mean them.
Kinda like the cheating husband trying to explain to his wife "it didn't mean anything". Sure...it might not have meant anything. But if you are not coherent how can you expect other people to know the difference?
I'm using an exaggeration to convey my point. Don't shoot me lol
Oh and I was thinking spooning and the like were part of what people meant by cuddling yes.
And men make women out to be the ones who read into everything...sheesh. Men can be just as bad about reading into things, oh wait, for them its just wishful thinking
It's funny you use the expression "reading into things" because relationships are all about communication right? And love relationships even more so I'd say. It's about writing into things too.
This reminds me of the threads on flirting. You can be flirting or cuddling or whatever and not be thinking of anything special in your mind...but maybe the other person is. Imagine the other person never advances in any sort of direction though but thinks that means something it didn't on your end? Wouldn't that knowledge make things uncomfortable for you? Wouldn't that defeat the whole purpose of the intimate moment? The two people not getting what the other meant?
Things are getting way to complicated with so many points of view. Love, friendship, etc are all getting intermingled and everyone has different definitions of love towards a friend and different depths. As an ISTP everything is context dependent so how things progress and play out in real life cant be hashed out to a tee.
In my personal opinion these types of things are best left to be hashed out between 2 people as to whats comfortable and yes communication plays a huge part which is what I thought my original post had said. Get the intentions out first.
Now it has spanned into 50 million directions with so many different contexts that contexts start getting mixed together.