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  1. #91
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    Quote Originally Posted by stellar renegade View Post
    hah, and you said butt, too!

    Um, it's not always spooning, alot of times we're either facing each other or I hug her from the side sometimes. But as for that, yes, I do prefer to be in the back, but it wouldn't even make sense the other way since she's so incredibly short compared to me, haha. It would be like a grape hugging a banana. :yim_rolling_on_the_


    Well I did have the very slightest hint of arousal down in a certain area at first... but not anymore. haha. She just doesn't really arouse me. I'm sure if you narrowed it down scientifically you'd find a place in my brain like any other that holds affection for a person without any sexual stimulation.

    Yes, I am very much a hedonist and feel like I need sex sometimes more than I can handle. But definitely not with her.
    Once the thought of the possibility is gone certain things stop happening in the nether regions. Basically the idea goes out the window and everything tied to that goes with it. Unlike an ESTP, I think Ti doms can bring it back if we want to. I think its our tertiary Ni as opposed to inferior. ISTPs have more control in this area of bringing things back in the window, but its not something that happens on its own and it is uncontrolled. The thing with ISTPs is that we always see the bigger picture and we cant bring ourself to do something that will hurt the people we love. Me and my wife discussed that sex is off limits so anything sexual goes with it. I will do everything in my power to keep anything sexual between me and someone else at bay.

    And the hardest part i think is that the best spot for the arm is right between the boobs where your hand is close to the heart. Not sexual, but its just the best way to hold someone close that is lying with you, sometimes holding a boob is nice, but that takes it a step beyond friendly, but still not meant to lead into sex. But wrapped tightly around the mid section is pretty good too.

    Face to face is nice along with on the side. Recently my shoulder causes issue with laying on my side which really sucks!!!!!!!!

  2. #92
    Nickle Iron Silicone Charmed Justice's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stellar renegade View Post
    hah, and you said butt, too!

    Um, it's not always spooning, alot of times we're either facing each other or I hug her from the side sometimes. But as for that, yes, I do prefer to be in the back, but it wouldn't even make sense the other way since she's so incredibly short compared to me, haha. It would be like a grape hugging a banana. :yim_rolling_on_the_
    The bolded...:yim_rolling_on_the_Out. of. Control.:yim_rolling_on_the_

    Quote Originally Posted by stellar renegade View Post
    Well I did have the very slightest hint of arousal down in a certain area at first... but not anymore. haha.
    Mmm, I bet.
    So, since you're not actually attracted to her, was your ever so slight arousal almost like a detached physical reaction, not even really directed at her?

    Quote Originally Posted by stellar renegade View Post
    I'm sure if you narrowed it down scientifically you'd find a place in my brain like any other that holds affection for a person without any sexual stimulation.
    Orreallynow? And where in your brain might that place be tucked away?


    Quote Originally Posted by stellar renegade View Post
    Yes, I am very much a hedonist and feel like I need sex sometimes more than I can handle.


    Quote Originally Posted by poki View Post
    Once the thought of the possibility is gone certain things stop happening in the nether regions. Basically the idea goes out the window and everything tied to that goes with it. Unlike an ESTP, I think Ti doms can bring it back if we want to.
    So you can shut these things off and on? You STPs are amazing! I'm with you on doing everything in my power....mainly cause I'm not a T. F+big Pness just doesn't yield this type of control.
    There is a thinking stuff from which all things are made, and which, in its original state, permeates, penetrates, and fills the interspaces of the universe.

  3. #93
    Senior Member Timmy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EnFpFer View Post
    Now someone go give the NT boys the memo.
    I saw that memo, and dismissed it as another Internet/office rumor.


    Here's an IM exchange with an ISTJ friend of mine (male).

    Timmy: Question: If a woman says to you she wants to cuddle, what does that imply to you? (discussion on another board...need another male opinion)

    Friend: IT'S A TRAP!!!!!

    T LOL ZOMFG


    F usually it means they want to cuddle until they are comfortable enough to be cuddled from the inside

    T So, not necessarily that they want to have sex, or that it will lead to sex?

    F in my experience it usually leads to sex...they want to feel more comfortable/bond/feel safe with it first, but its usually the sort of girls that sex = love. girls that sex does not equal love will come out with their intentions right away

    T good observation. that's been my experience.

    F I prefer the emotionally insecure ones

    I am an NT, and I've NEVER wanted to cuddle for cuddle's sake before I got married, and rarely do now that I am married. My wife, an ISFJ, completely understands this, though on occasion wants the "just cuddle me" experience. I put up with it because, well, I am a good husband. She knows I put up with it, and considers me a good husband.

    Win-win.

  4. #94
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    Quote Originally Posted by EnFpFer View Post
    Mmm, I bet.
    So, since you're not actually attracted to her, was your ever so slight arousal almost like a detached physical reaction, not even really directed at her?
    Yes this happens with touch and in these positions there is definite touching so it is detached in that sense and is probably why it goes away. If it does happen it doesnt stay in the aroused state very long.

    Its like a false alarm and eventually it starts to ignore these alarms.

    Its alittle harder for me to tell because I only cuddle with my wife so I have to try and seperate the times when I want it to lead somewhere vs the times when its really not meant to go anywhere.

  5. #95
    PEST that STEPs on PETS stellar renegade's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EnFpFer View Post
    The bolded...:yim_rolling_on_the_Out. of. Control.:yim_rolling_on_the_
    mwahahaha.

    Quote Originally Posted by EnFpFer View Post
    Mmm, I bet.
    So, since you're not actually attracted to her, was your ever so slight arousal almost like a detached physical reaction, not even really directed at her?
    This:
    Quote Originally Posted by poki View Post
    Yes this happens with touch and in these positions there is definite touching so it is detached in that sense and is probably why it goes away. If it does happen it doesnt stay in the aroused state very long.

    Its like a false alarm and eventually it starts to ignore these alarms.
    Quote Originally Posted by EnFpFer View Post
    Orreallynow? And where in your brain might that place be tucked away?
    I dunno, ask an INTJ!

    It's up there somewhere.

    Quote Originally Posted by EnFpFer View Post
    And a few more, on the house!

    Quote Originally Posted by EnFpFer View Post
    So you can shut these things off and on? You STPs are amazing! I'm with you on doing everything in my power....mainly cause I'm not a T. F+big Pness just doesn't yield this type of control.
    Yeah, pretty much. Usually I don't want to, though.
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  6. #96
    almost nekkid scantilyclad's Avatar
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    I cuddled with a friend once. Every time i spent the night she wanted to "snuggle" in the bed. We cuddled, and I think it was innocent at first, but this eventually led to us doing other things.
    I actually don't like cuddling very much, but cuddling with her was actually comfortable and warm.
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  7. #97
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    Haven't read this thread yet, but to the OP....

    ...I'm so not down with this! Now I love physical touch, I love cuddling, I love that physical closeness with another...but I 100% associate this with someone I'm romantically interested in. It's totally, irrevocably connected. I touch/cuddle *because* I have feelings for someone and am involved with them. It's an extension of my feelings.

    Not sayin' or denying that many others aren't able to do this, but I am one who cannot. (and don't desire to)
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

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  8. #98
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    Quote Originally Posted by EnFpFer View Post
    So you can shut these things off and on? You STPs are amazing! I'm with you on doing everything in my power....mainly cause I'm not a T. F+big Pness just doesn't yield this type of control.
    So what do you do thats within your power?

  9. #99
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    Reading through this thread just reminds me, yet again, of why I like SP's so much.

  10. #100
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EnFpFer View Post
    It also looks like SP men are more into the whole cuddling just for cuddles sake. At least, here. The few NT men who have responded here seem to be more about cuddling leading to sex, or otherwise displacing their role as a potential FB. So, I wonder who gets more sex--or more of what they really want from women? NT men or SP men?
    SPs and SFJs seem to like cuddling the most, regardless of gender . The only women I've ever known who don't like non-sexual physical affection are NT women, and a few ST women (especially STJ).

    I like cuddling now, but I didn't used to when I was younger, despite my NF-ness. I only became more physically affectionate in recent years, and I'm not that way with just anyone. I have no interest in cuddling with someone I don't have some romantic feeling/attraction to, with the exception of my cat .

    That said, cuddling should not be expected to lead to sex. Men need to be upfront if they want more than cuddling, and women should be clear when cuddling is all there will be. Nobody can read minds. Funny how much can be cleared up when people communicate.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

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