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  1. #31
    Senior Member LEGERdeMAIN's Avatar
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    Is ego being used here as "the self"? or is it being used as a synonym for arrogance?

    If it's being used in the Freudian sense, how the balls are you going to tell me that some people don't have it at all and that some people have too much of it. Furthermore, who are you to assume that a certain type(often an arbitrary stereotype) has more or less of it? I will hunt you down.
    “Some people will tell you that slow is good – but I’m here to tell you that fast is better. I’ve always believed this, in spite of the trouble it’s caused me. Being shot out of a cannon will always be better than being squeezed out of a tube. That is why God made fast motorcycles, Bubba…”


  2. #32
    Dreaming the life onemoretime's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by luminous beam View Post
    define enigmatic, how are "these ppl" communicating things "enigmatically?"
    We're not all intuitors.

    honestly, how silly, stupid or stubborn would someone need to make you feel in order for you to drop what or how you're doing things and do them the new way?
    Fi is showing.

    this is a prime example of egotistic language. i suggest you tell the friends or people you'd like upfront and genuine opinions/advice from that you're looking for just that.
    He doesn't want advice, read closer. He wants to be guided in the right direction. Too often, when you ask for advice, people will pontificate without saying anything. Sometimes, you just need to plant the seed that will eventually point the way to where the other person needs to go.

    It's not egotistical at all to feel despair that this isn't an easy thing to find.

    yes @ deep seated issues, it's cuz you guys detach emotionally usually. if you don't confront emotions head on some negative ones can fester and backfire in many different ways creating anger, denial, self absorption, resentment, indifference, etc
    I swear, Fe behavior is completely incomprehensible to you, isn't it?

    He's not avoiding the issues - he's simply not burdening other people with his problems. Everyone's life is already hard enough without having to saddle them with your own baggage. Why not just work it out in your own head?

  3. #33
    Senior Member LEGERdeMAIN's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LostInNerSpace View Post
    Let me be clear. All I want is for this to stop. I have no idea what you could possibly want. What would be a successful outcome here?
    A successful outcome? When was a successful outcome a thread-wide goal?
    “Some people will tell you that slow is good – but I’m here to tell you that fast is better. I’ve always believed this, in spite of the trouble it’s caused me. Being shot out of a cannon will always be better than being squeezed out of a tube. That is why God made fast motorcycles, Bubba…”


  4. #34
    Senior Member Grayscale's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LostInNerSpace View Post
    Let me be clear. All I want is for this to stop. I have no idea what you could possibly want. What would be a successful outcome here?
    People who are generally competent still make mistakes and need other people to help them out, this applies to everyone but ISTPs are said to have high proficiency so i targeted them specifically. we cant always know when were doing something wrong, so we count on other people to set us straight, but this doesnt work if something within our ego makes us seem unapproachable.

    the point of discussing our ego is to learn about it so we can consider how it affects our communication with others.

    maybe im asking for the impossible if this isnt something we can fix, but it seems discussion worthy to me either way.

  5. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by Grayscale View Post
    People who are generally competent still make mistakes and need other people to help them out, this applies to everyone but ISTPs are said to have high proficiency so i targeted them specifically. we cant always know when were doing something wrong, so we count on other people to set us straight, but this doesnt work if something within our ego makes us seem unapproachable.

    the point of discussing our ego is to learn about it so we can consider how it affects our communication with others.

    maybe im asking for the impossible if this isnt something we can fix, but it seems discussion worthy to me either way.
    It's a good topic... as the years rolled by I've been able to see myself more
    clearly. That's all I'd really care to say about it.

  6. #36
    Controlled Mischief StephMC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MDP2525 View Post
    But instead of talking about it - I show it. So it doesn't come off as arrogance. Sometimes I'll say something off the cuff about something I did and realize I said too much - like my inner ego comes out in a quick sentence and it sounds...conceited (ugh) I hate that! Then I'm kind of disgusted with myself for a minute.
    Yes! So true. I agree with a lot of what people said, actually. Anyways... I don't really consider it an ego. I think ISTPs have a very realistic measure of what they can and cannot do, while most "egotistical" people have an unrealistic measure. I'm not gonna kid myself if I can't do something, or can't do it as well as I'd like. But if no one's around to help, I just get it done. Although I admit, there are still a lot of times I get impatient with the process of letting someone help me...sometimes because I don't trust they're competent enough about that particular thing, but mostly because I find it very taxing to have to explain why I'm doing things (it takes more energy to talk than to just -do-)... and usually THAT happens because with people who are not like-minded, I feel like I have to translate from my language to a their language (Or really... increase Fe and decrease Ti, which is draining). I'm more likely to listen if I have an easy form of communication with that person (Usually TPs). But I'll tell ya, like Amargith said, if I come across someone who knows their shit, I am ALL ears. After all, I've gotten much better about all of this, and can accept help more often from others. Thankfully, I've been surrounded by several friends and family members who I consider very competent and knowledgeable, so that's a plus. And yeah, asking questions helps people clarify, as well as explaining out loud why you do things (draining, yes, but it works). Although for me, it's easier to ask questions and translate what they're saying into my language (Ti), than vice versa.

    But yeah, Grayscale, I think a lot of people have a misconception that giving advice is "rude" or "pushy." Pft. Nonsense. Have at it! I'll listen, and take it all into consideration. As you said, I never respond negatively either. I may not -use- any of it, but heck... one step at a time

    Quote Originally Posted by luminous beam View Post
    yes @ deep seated issues, it's cuz you guys detach emotionally usually. if you don't confront emotions head on some negative ones can fester and backfire in many different ways creating anger, denial, self absorption, resentment, indifference, etc
    Quote Originally Posted by Grayscale View Post
    with ISTPs, I am guessing the big misunderstanding is that we experience the entire spectrum of emotion... when what we think is probably much simpler, much more practical than that, so much so that few people would guess it.
    Quote Originally Posted by onemoretime View Post
    He's not avoiding the issues - he's simply not burdening other people with his problems. Everyone's life is already hard enough without having to saddle them with your own baggage. Why not just work it out in your own head?
    I'll second those responses... cuz I really don't know how else to respond to that
    I have an inner monologue that sounds strikingly similar to something off Animal Planet.

  7. #37
    Senior Member Grayscale's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LostInNerSpace View Post
    You want my ideas? I would like to help but I can't. The problem is I don't know enough at this point to be of any use. I don't know the issues. I would have to spend time reading through all of the material. That is time I don't have. It's a choice between earning a living or being out on the street. Not a hard choice. I have to meet my expenses and pay my debts. My business is the reason I took on some much debt in the first place.
    It's all good thanks anyways. good luck with your finances!

  8. #38
    Rainy Day Woman MDP2525's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LostInNerSpace View Post
    You want my ideas? I would like to help but I can't. The problem is I don't know enough at this point to be of any use. I don't know the issues. I would have to spend time reading through all of the material. That is time I don't have. It's a choice between earning a living or being out on the street. Not a hard choice. I have to meet my expenses and pay my debts. My business is the reason I took on some much debt in the first place.
    Honestly, from the various posts I've read of yours I have no clue as to what half the stuff you're talking about. You're almost on the verge of Victorness. Or...I'm drunk. If that's the case, then forget this post ever happened because I probably already do.
    ~luck favors the ready~


    Shameless Self-Promotion:MDP2525's Den and the Start of Motorcycle Maintenance

  9. #39
    Member ViCyniC's Avatar
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    I probably have very little ego. But I view ego as an external thing...something you "show off". I probably have a lot of pride, though, which I view as more of an internal thing. And not all of it is good, or even healthy. But that's me.

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