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  1. #41

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    I knew a female ISFP who was very different from this young man, so I still have a lot to learn.
    That's interesting. How so?

    But he says he falls just off the center on all the preferences. I just have to take his word for it, and it's probable that I had too narrow a view of what an ISFP is like.
    Maybe -- or do you think it could be that he doesn't quite know his own preferences due to his upbringing? My other guy is INTP, but first tested as ESTP! When I made sure he was true to himself, he tested in every way INTP, as I already knew (but he didn't). Of course he was an easy one to tell, but if I didn't know him well I would have maybe gone with ESTP to begin with, albeit a mild case. I think 'mild cases' are to be questioned, anyway.

    You are describing my INFP sister.
    PS: Sorry about the migraine. Hope you have some meds.
    I have to admit, INFPs have a charm all their own if that's the case. I get really frustrated with the boyfriend since he's so airy-headed and detached, but he's also really endearing.
    Headache's under control--"that time of the month". Chocolate cures everything but the dyspepsia.

    Do you think that male feeling types are more inclined to try to be sensate as an attempt to compensate for lack of a thinking preference? To fit in, I guess?

    I have a similar problem with my boyfriend, who is seemingly an indecipherable INFJ/ISFJ sort of guy. His N/S is literally 50/50 and I can see characteristics of both types in him.
    Hah! That's pretty much exactly what he said. He tried - and still tries - to analyze everything, but he's terrible at doing it efficiently. The way he explained it is he then becomes extremely focused on one thing at a time in order to make up for the loss. He fights with depression and depersonalization (just not a happy childhood, nothing too serious) and I think he might compensate for reduced intuition/connectedness with constant analysis and sensation.

    At first he tested as ESFJ. Not shockingly, I suppose, with other INFPs talking of them using a 'ESTJ business suit' to cope. Then he tested as ISFJ, then INFJ, but all very weakly. That was all a while ago. Now that he's honest with himself far more than he used to be, he's consistently INFP, and usually with very strong preferences.

    I'm not necessarily sure it's because he's a guy, but I think that makes him more apt to be less knowledgeable about what goes on with himself, since guys have less 'communicative' brains, it seems. The same goes for the other guy I'm good friends with, the INTP. It's probably difficult to be a guy and have Ne; they tend to be more effeminate by nature, I think, according to our society, and that must have an impact at least subconsciously.

    Oh, and one thing about the boyfriend: he understands things better with analogies and metaphors. It used to drive me nuts but I've learned that's how to communicate best with him. I'm not a very romantic person but he's totally lost in romantic ideals.

    However, I'm way more abstract & he does take the practical approach in the relationship.
    What's the applicable difference between you two? How do those two attributes present in day-to-day life?

    I'd say I'm more practical than my boyfriend. In fact I'm more practical than most people I know, but I'm still INFJ to the core, which is a bit confusing. The way I'd have to describe myself is 'practically abstract,' because I'm abstract with a goal in mind. I'm also perfectionistic as all livin' poop, most of the time.

    Does he LOVE history and antiques?

    That could reveal a greater tendency toward SJ.
    I've seen that SPs really love history.

    As I talked to him I kept hearing Ni as well. but it was at the cost of his external focus.
    Isn't that true of Ne and Ni, dominant or otherwise? I use my Ni best when I completely introvert, silently, or sleep. It gives me incredible insight that seems clairvoyant or telepathic (the latter seems almost indisputable), but the cost is having to leave external reality to achieve such strong results. That's an extreme, but it shows a correlation with me. Ne seems similar, but I can't tell; I can do it, but with effort, and it's confusing.

    I severely resent this thread for bumping my blog!
    I will promptly give myself 40 lashes, unless you say otherwise (to bump up the number of lashes, I mean).

    He's also really big on his past not affecting his future.
    Is he fairly future oriented?

  2. #42
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    I DID post something else! and then someone else posted here! my one serious post of the week will NEVER get read! :sad:
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  3. #43
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    My BIL/former best friend was an ISF/TP. He was very difficult to pinpoint personality wise at first, but we hit it off right away. He could have charm to burn when he wanted to, was laid back to the point of being almost dead, generally soft-spoken but he could be a total hellraiser and have authority problems. He didn't like being controlled. AT ALL. I think the ISFP/ISTP types exude a certain strange uncanny N even when they may not have a lot of N.

    I had another male ISFP friend was very soft-spoken and unfailingly polite to my mother, but he had the devil in him as well. Girls loved him. He was countrified punk rock and clever. My BIL was a clever animal too.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
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    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  4. #44
    Senior Member INTJMom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    I DID post something else! and then someone else posted here! my one serious post of the week will NEVER get read! :sad:
    Awww. I'm sorry. I don't understand how that works.

  5. #45
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTJMom View Post
    Myers Briggs and articles about the MBTI

    Under extreme stress, fatigue or illness, the ISFJ's shadow may appear - a negative form of ENTP. Example characteristics are:

    * being very intolerant of others who do not act competently
    * suggesting impractical ideas
    * being critical of others, and finding fault with almost everything
    * having a gloomy view of the future
    * being argumentative

    Under extreme stress, fatigue or illness, the INFJ's shadow may appear - a negative form of ESTP. Example characteristics are:

    * acting very impulsively, making decisions without thinking them through
    * doing things to excess - e.g.: eating, drinking or exercising
    * being critical of others, and finding fault with almost everything
    * being preoccupied about unimportant details and doing things that have no meaning
    * acting in a very materialistic and selfish way
    * cutting corners, breaking the rules, and even contradicting the INFJ's own values
    Hmm. He's the calmest person in creation, while I'm usually the anxious one. He doesn't really get stressed out - more brushes stuff off & moves on quickly and has the patience of a saint. However, I do see the ISFJ stress traits in very small doses during the few occasions we've argued.

    Does healthy use of Si ever look like healthy use of Ni?

  6. #46

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    When stressed my boyfriend detaches. Hard. Detaches, depersonalizes...and now, as a new things, he will often let his emotions flow, which ends in bursts of trembling anger and, eventually, tears. Which makes me <3 him even more for being emotional, and is certainly better than the detachment and depersonalization he is accustomed to, but it can make dealing with others difficult for him. Not to mention the depersonalization is dangerous since it takes his focus away almost completely, leaving him liable to smash into things that are right in front of him.

    He's this...

    As stress increases, 'learned behaviour' tends to give way to the natural style, so the INFP will behave more according to type when under greater stress. For example, in a crisis, the INFP might:

    * concentrate only on what the INFP sees as important
    * work alone if possible
    * contribute creative ideas, but overlook current realities
    * fail to consider the cost implications

    Under extreme stress, fatigue or illness, the INFP's shadow may appear - a negative form of ESTJ. Example characteristics are:

    * being very critical and find fault with almost everything
    * doing things to excess - e.g.: eating, drinking or exercising
    * becoming bossy or domineering and ignoring others' feelings
    * being pedantic about unimportant details
    ...plus this...

    Their natural tendency to identify with others, compounded with their self-sacrificial dispositions, tends to leave them confused as to who they really are. Their quiet personalities further feeds their feelings of depersonalization.
    ...almost to a T. I'm still not sure if he's INFP, but that much fits him very well, and I think is true of many INFPs (INFPs -- input would be good ).

  7. #47
    Senior Member INTJMom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by quietgirl View Post
    Hmm. He's the calmest person in creation, while I'm usually the anxious one. He doesn't really get stressed out - more brushes stuff off & moves on quickly and has the patience of a saint. However, I do see the ISFJ stress traits in very small doses during the few occasions we've argued.

    Does healthy use of Si ever look like healthy use of Ni?
    Patience of a saint sounds like ISFJ.

    I don't know the cognitive functions very well yet.

  8. #48
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hotherym View Post
    When stressed my boyfriend detaches. Hard. Detaches, depersonalizes...and now, as a new things, he will often let his emotions flow, which ends in bursts of trembling anger and, eventually, tears. Which makes me <3 him even more for being emotional, and is certainly better than the detachment and depersonalization he is accustomed to, but it can make dealing with others difficult for him. Not to mention the depersonalization is dangerous since it takes his focus away almost completely, leaving him liable to smash into things that are right in front of him.

    .
    Both of my ISFP ex boyfriends did the detachment thing. One of them didn't speak to me for an entire week after an argument. It drove me nuts.

    Both my INFP brother & INFP cousin do the detachment thing a little too (my brother more than my female cousin, so maybe it's more of a male thing), but not to the degree of the ISFP exes.

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