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Thread: ESFP & ISTP

  1. #11
    Senior Member mcmartinez84's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 2XtremeENFP View Post
    Interesting... I can see this too with some personal details I know about him...
    Is there a way my ESFP friend can suggest him getting help? Will this backfire? I could see him denying it and thinking that whatever depressed feeling he may have (regardless if he admits it or not) is stupid and he won't want to acknowledge that its even a possibility. Since he thrives on letting everyone know how apathetic he is about people and life in general.
    I think suggesting a shrink visit would most definitely backfire. Honestly, what cheers me up most is finding a fun activity I can do with people I like being around...something that would be repeated, like a sport or video game online with friends. Time consuming, good company. Maybe a "new" TV show with lots of episodes out that someone else was interested in watching too. Weekly movie night? Cooking together? Obviously keeping these activities cheap given his previous commentary... Something that strikes his interest, which might be hard to find
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  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by man View Post
    He sounds like a dumbass.
    + 1

  3. #13
    Senior Member Willfrey's Avatar
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    While I have never claimed to be a Casanova, I still have enough social tact express how I feel to others one way or another. Does this guy even realize it is a relationship? Or is this like a close friends + benefits arrangement? The fact that she has to invite herself over leads me to believe something else is going on, like perhaps the ISTP's love interest is somewhere else.

    Also on a side note for your friend, and it may just be me, but I hate it when people self-apply the word bitch all proud-like. People who are 'too real' and 'speak their mind' have no sense of tact or restraint, or just revel in creating drama (I didn't like him SO I TOLD HIM HOW IT WAS YO)
    ...Then I ducked my head and the lights went out, and two guns blazed in the dark;
    And a woman screamed, and the lights went up, and two men lay stiff and stark...

  4. #14
    Senior Member 2XtremeENFP's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Willfrey View Post
    Does this guy even realize it is a relationship?
    Yep. It's official. Exclusive. Committed. He chased after her and he wanted a relationship with her and then it seems he just stopped on a dime after it became official.

    Martinez, you have some great suggestions. We do have a weekly event where we all meet as friends for a fun night where we just hang out together. But I like the idea of maybe it being routine of something that They do as a couple.. and yeah.. it'll be a challenge to find something that he will enjoy.

  5. #15
    Senior Member mcmartinez84's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 2XtremeENFP View Post
    Yep. It's official. Exclusive. Committed. He chased after her and he wanted a relationship with her and then it seems he just stopped on a dime after it became official.

    Martinez, you have some great suggestions. We do have a weekly event where we all meet as friends for a fun night where we just hang out together. But I like the idea of maybe it being routine of something that They do as a couple.. and yeah.. it'll be a challenge to find something that he will enjoy.
    Thanks!
    I know we're supposed to hate routine... But if I have something fun to look forward to on a given schedule, it'll make the boring time pass all the faster. Plus, it'll get me to actually do something or get things done. Might even give me a sense of accomplishment
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  6. #16
    Senior Member Bamboo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 2XtremeENFP View Post
    He wasn't like this during their friendship/beginning stages of dating. He would do whatever she wanted. They hung out every day, he went out with her friends, you name it. But, the moment they were exclusively dating and official he stopped. She confronted him about the transformation and he simply said "I was trying to date you. I wanted to go out because you were going out. Now I have you so I don't have to do that stuff anymore"

    o.O
    Haha well he certainly has good work ethic . Maybe he thinks of her as property, and now he owns her. Not good. She shouldn't put up with that.

    Coeur has some good points on this.

    Quote Originally Posted by mcmartinez84 View Post
    I think suggesting a shrink visit would most definitely backfire. Honestly, what cheers me up most is finding a fun activity I can do with people I like being around...something that would be repeated, like a sport or video game online with friends. Time consuming, good company. Maybe a "new" TV show with lots of episodes out that someone else was interested in watching too. Weekly movie night? Cooking together? Obviously keeping these activities cheap given his previous commentary... Something that strikes his interest, which might be hard to find
    These seem good. Emphasis on doing stuff together.



    Also, I'd point out that this thread is being dominated by the midwest. Good work, you middle of the country folk.
    Don't know how much it'll bend til it breaks.

  7. #17
    Member tetsuwanatom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by man View Post
    He sounds like a dumbass.
    Quote Originally Posted by jixmixfix View Post
    + 1
    + 2


    Honestly, this guy sounds like a jerk.
    Space, whatever, my ass. He doesn't even sound like he's having any fun with his gf. It even sounds like he DOESN'T want to have a gf.
    In fact, it sounds like an ISTP with denial issues, who doesn't want to face and confront his own feelings and also the feelings of other people, therefore hides behind this dumbass persona. It's passive aggressive, man!!

  8. #18
    Rainy Day Woman MDP2525's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 2XtremeENFP View Post
    He wasn't like this during their friendship/beginning stages of dating. He would do whatever she wanted. They hung out every day, he went out with her friends, you name it. But, the moment they were exclusively dating and official he stopped. She confronted him about the transformation and he simply said "I was trying to date you. I wanted to go out because you were going out. Now I have you so I don't have to do that stuff anymore"

    o.O
    He does sound like a dumbass. An arrogant one.

    Well at least he's honest. But he may need to be "reminded" of what made him jump through hoops in the first place. Maybe he should be reminded that he may have her now but that doesn't mean he couldn't lose her tomorrow if he doesn't start putting effort into the relationship. (let the games begin! ) I don't know their dynamic so it's hard to comment on.
    ~luck favors the ready~


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  9. #19
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    Reading through, I don't think that the boyfriend is an ISTP... My guess would be an
    INTP, or some other form of NT.

    ISTP's are naturally optimistic, impulsive and adventerous...more social than almost
    any other introverted type. We do like our recharge time, and don't demand to be
    the center of attention...but we do like to be active and have fun.

  10. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by sLiPpY View Post
    Reading through, I don't think that the boyfriend is an ISTP... My guess would be an
    INTP, or some other form of NT.

    ISTP's are naturally optimistic, impulsive and adventerous...more social than almost
    any other introverted type. We do like our recharge time, and don't demand to be
    the center of attention...but we do like to be active and have fun.
    I was thinking the same thing. Once I get used to someone, they tend to "fade into the background" after a while. Not to the extent of this situation, but I could see an INTP or INTJ acting like him. Not to be bias, but the latter seems more probable. INTPs, as I know, are usually giddy when relationships are new and fresh. Weak Fe spatters everywhere. INTJs are far less affectionate.
    Um, yeah.

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