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Thread: ISTP distance

  1. #1
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    Default ISTP distance

    Over on socionics it talks about greedy ISTPs vs ungreedy ISTPs. I am the ungreedy ISTP. This type of ISTP according to socionics tends to be less socialable. We have been surrounded with people who we have always been able to show our love for and have it returned. Not to confuse romantic love with familial love. Familial love is a very deep caring love. I have not really had to step outside much to have basics needs of this type of caring love met. I think this type has become very goot at Fe+Se. We are internally very healthy people, but we lack alot of the social skills needed because we didnt have to venture out as much. We also dont know the social boundaries and limits to showing how much we care because we didnt have to. Its the equivalent of showering someone with actions to show you care. If someone does this and you are not expecting it you first question there actions. This is what I sense. The questioning of my actions. The thing is that I enjoy doing things for other people and go way out of my way to do it. With family I dont have to worry about things being taken from a caring to a romantic love so its like a saftey in regards to not having to worry about understanding feelings.

    Because of this I do pick up a sense of questioning of my motives behind my actions. I notice this with quite a bit of people. Its like my actions go overboard according to social expectations.

    This causes me to be unable to understand social distances.

    Hopefully this helps clear up some from the first draft.

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    I don't really understand the question or problem here. It needs more defining.

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    triple nerd score poppy's Avatar
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    So...you're cuddly and giving and your wife gets jealous when you act that way around other females?

    Hum. I don't know. I never understood that kind of thing
    "There's no need to be embarrassed about it, Mr. Spock. It happens to the birds and the bees!"

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    Quote Originally Posted by poppy View Post
    So...you're cuddly and giving and your wife gets jealous when you act that way around other females?

    Hum. I don't know. I never understood that kind of thing
    ISTP have always used action, not cuddling or gifts. So its more along the lines of doing to much.

    You see with what you put physical touch for me is a romantic love language, acts of service is one of a caring language. See where the confusion can lie.

    How do you define the social distancing? Especially since everyones love language is different and do different things for different reasons?

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    Well, I've noticed for quite some time I would try to be the entertainer to keep people around. Maybe I was trying to let my actions speak more? It molded into feelings of cynicism (why try to impress them??). People wanted something I couldn't quite supply well. I still don't know what that is. But I'm sooooo unpopular and weird these days at college, but I like it. But I'd kill to make one special connection.

    Does that make me the greedy type? I get hyper-independent at times and often lose sight of how I may affect people. Bluntly, sometimes I don't care, but it's a habit.

    And I agree with Poki on physical touch. It's actually why I couldn't stand a long distance relationship. The only thing that kicks about being an ISTP is battling feelings all the time.
    And there I stood... The devil of a command that featured death...

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    Rainy Day Woman MDP2525's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by poki View Post
    Over on socionics it talks about greedy ISTPs vs ungreedy ISTPs. I am the ungreedy ISTP. This type of ISTP according to socionics tends to be less socialable. We have been surrounded with people who we have always been able to show our love for and have it returned. Not to confuse romantic love with familial love. Familial love is a very deep caring love. I have not really had to step outside much to have basics needs of this type of caring love met. I think this type has become very goot at Fe+Se. We are internally very healthy people, but we lack alot of the social skills needed because we didnt have to venture out as much. We also dont know the social boundaries and limits to showing how much we care because we didnt have to. Its the equivalent of showering someone with actions to show you care. If someone does this and you are not expecting it you first question there actions. This is what I sense. The questioning of my actions. The thing is that I enjoy doing things for other people and go way out of my way to do it. With family I dont have to worry about things being taken from a caring to a romantic love so its like a saftey in regards to not having to worry about understanding feelings.

    Because of this I do pick up a sense of questioning of my motives behind my actions. I notice this with quite a bit of people. Its like my actions go overboard according to social expectations.

    This causes me to be unable to understand social distances.

    Hopefully this helps clear up some from the first draft.
    I understand what you're saying. But when does it become a problem? For instance, are you showing these caring actions to people who don't know you very well? This could cause some uncertainty on their part towards your motives. I know between women this kind of behavior is actually considered very thoughtful and sweet. But I could see if a man were to do certain things for a woman (even with non-romantic intent) she would be wary. I wonder if you could give a real world example?
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    Quote Originally Posted by Auto/Virtuosi=L.A.P. View Post
    Well, I've noticed for quite some time I would try to be the entertainer to keep people around. Maybe I was trying to let my actions speak more? It molded into feelings of cynicism (why try to impress them??). People wanted something I couldn't quite supply well. I still don't know what that is. But I'm sooooo unpopular and weird these days at college, but I like it. But I'd kill to make one special connection.

    Does that make me the greedy type? I get hyper-independent at times and often lose sight of how I may affect people. Bluntly, sometimes I don't care, but it's a habit.

    And I agree with Poki on physical touch. It's actually why I couldn't stand a long distance relationship. The only thing that kicks about being an ISTP is battling feelings all the time.
    I see the social entertainer problems and really dont attempt to entertain much. I am better as a helper socially, not an entertainer. I was always a mix between being nerdy and stupid. It was like trying to find a balance. My stupid side is my ability to want to attempt to figure out how to do stupid things. When people ask me why I do these things my only reason is because I can and my nerdy side is my thirst for knowledge.

    I do sense my blunt side. It comes every once in awhile and become onry out of fun with no ill intentions meant. I tend to aim it more towards men. Its usually pretty easy to find one to dish it out to and I guess I just expect them to be able to handle it better.

    The feeling thing does suck. The greedy type is more about being a giving person or being a type that hordes everything. I freely give away everything to anybody. If no one is around I pick and choose people at random. I couldnt tell you how many times I have stopped on the side of the road and helped people change flats, give people rides that are walking in the pouring rain, just because I have nothing better to do and they are in need and I can help them.

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    oh yeah, I'm a horder. haha but it's people like you that make me feel better about life.
    And there I stood... The devil of a command that featured death...

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    Quote Originally Posted by MDP2525 View Post
    I understand what you're saying. But when does it become a problem? For instance, are you showing these caring actions to people who don't know you very well? This could cause some uncertainty on their part towards your motives. I know between women this kind of behavior is actually considered very thoughtful and sweet. But I could see if a man were to do certain things for a woman (even with non-romantic intent) she would be wary. I wonder if you could give a real world example?
    it might not be a problem, thats kinda what I am trying to figure out here. It may just be something that I am creating since I dont understand how people feel very much. People generally dont tell me how they feel about me and I have never really pushed to try to get them to open up to me about how they feel towards me. If they do they do if not then I just judge it by what I see and have to guess.

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