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  1. #11
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coeur View Post
    My ESFP friend has many wonderful qualities, but she doesn't like to think. At all. Allow me to explain.

    When I tried to make her take one of the simplest meyer-briggs tests, she nearly burst into tears and says she HATES that kind of thing and that it's confusing and that she can't possibly understand it.

    She has no input. I may come up with something deep, meaningful, or amusing, and all she can muster is: 'wow.' When I ask if she has anything to add, she says: "not really." [This gets old REALLY quickly.]

    She hates abstract plots, so consequently she hates watching dramas/plays/etc. Anything to do with history, or anything 'dramatic' in general, bores her to tears.

    I'm guessing she has a lot of builtup tension inside, because she refuses to watch anything too emotionally oriented. It makes her cry. Consequently, she has mood swings 'out of nowhere,' probably because she doesn't consider them at all most of the time.

    She's very stubborn, opinionated, and baseless in her views. And I'm saying this as a value-oriented INFP. We are both conservative republicans, but she's the kind of person who won't talk to someone if they're a liberal. She refuses to listen to anything that has to do with them at all. She won't even watch president Obama speak on TV. Once, I was reading about liberals in my history book, and she said: "I'd skip over the section; I wouldn't be able to stand reading it."

    I honestly don't understand. O_o Is this normal for ESFPs?
    It sounds like you are experiencing the N/S divide.

    I'm guilty of a lot of these things you've mentioned here myself but I'm borderline ISFP/ISFJ. In my experience, NO ONE who has strong political beliefs ever changes their minds no matter how much arguing/debating/convincing ensues. She probably doesn't see the point of discussing it, and would rather discuss more practical things.

  2. #12
    Member mattness's Avatar
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    i'm esfp & i think i listen to other people pretty well. the whole thing about not even watching Obama just sounds like she's just closed minded & doesnt want anything messing with her view of the world. i'm not like that myself. i was skeptical about some of this MBTI stuff but i didnt make a scene about it, that just sounds like a drama mama.

  3. #13
    veteran attention whore Jeffster's Avatar
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    So, wait, what's the puzzling part?
    Jeffster Illustrates the Artisan Temperament <---- click here

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  4. #14
    Senior Member Coeur's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeffster View Post
    So, wait, what's the puzzling part?
    That she could... be like this. It's totally foreign to me. But everyone's comments have helped me understand her a little better.
    Everybody needs love.

  5. #15
    PEST that STEPs on PETS stellar renegade's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mattness View Post
    i'm esfp & i think i listen to other people pretty well. the whole thing about not even watching Obama just sounds like she's just closed minded & doesnt want anything messing with her view of the world. i'm not like that myself. i was skeptical about some of this MBTI stuff but i didnt make a scene about it, that just sounds like a drama mama.
    Dude, sup! How you be? Welcome to the forums, hope you have a great stay, man!

    We don't get too many ESFPs 'round these parts, and when we do, they leave just like that! *snap*

    What's funny is that the two ESTPs here have stuck around for good! (The other ESTPs tend to just change their type :yim_rolling_on_the_)
    -stellar renegade
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  6. #16
    Junior Member Captain's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mattness View Post
    i'm esfp & i think i listen to other people pretty well. the whole thing about not even watching Obama just sounds like she's just closed minded & doesnt want anything messing with her view of the world. i'm not like that myself. i was skeptical about some of this MBTI stuff but i didnt make a scene about it, that just sounds like a drama mama.
    I would tend to agree. Your description of your friend sounds nothing like me; in fact, the exact opposite in almost every example. It seems to me like your friend is just narrow-minded, and perhaps combined with her ESFP traits causes her toact as such but certainly is not the case for everyone.
    "We demand... ANOTHER SHRUBBERY!" ~The Knights Who Say Ni

    My teacher: Did you get the answer to your question?
    My best friend: Yes I did; I used my noggin!
    My teacher: No you didn't, who'd you really ask?

  7. #17
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
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    She sounds like a total basket case

  8. #18
    Member Eowyn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stellar renegade View Post

    If it's not real life, I often lose interest. I can pay attention for a bit up to a certain point. Sometimes a plot can keep me going for awhile as long as it isn't bogged down with too much complexity. I actually somewhat have a hard time watching House because of some of the technical concepts and I'm the type of person who wants to know everything about what's going on so it's hard for me to just shrug off something I don't understand for the time being. I do like that show, though.


    Okay, I can't associate with that at all, but maybe an ESFP will come by who's able to explain that.

    :fairy noise:

    Hello. I can explain that. Does it have a practical application? Because if it doesn't, and it's just theory, and it won't actually make a difference in everyday life, then I'm not going to waste my time and energy on it.


    ESFPs have a lot of energy. Especially emotional energy. They are givers. They want nothing more than to have a good time and have their energy be reciprocated and appreciated. I think they can get moody often when this energy has no place to land. Or when they feel unappreciated or something in their life is causing them stress.

    <snip>

    Little things like that can ruin an ESFP's day. It puts a big gloomy cloud over it. I've noticed ESFP's can get lost in these moments. They lose the wood for the trees - emotionally speaking. I think that's what's happening with your ESFP with watching dramas. It would pull her out of her state of harmony and happiness to get engrossed in something like that and watching may put her in one of those gloomy moments. ESFP's don't like to stay there. Very uncomfortable.

    Her mood swings probably aren't "out of nowhere" but a build-up of these small stresses. ESFP's hate conflict. It stresses them out more. So I think this ends up with them chasing their tails. Avoid conflict + not wanting to cause disharmony = a helpless feeling ESFP. I think this is where those BIG mood swings come out. My best advice is listen to WHAT she says not HOW she says it. Speak S not N. The depth IS on the outside with ESFP's. If that makes sense. They are transparent. But that's a good thing! If she's your best friend there's not a doubt that she's telling you who she is and every little thing that is upsetting her.

    Yes we do. And if the person we're hanging out with doesn't understand how to reflect our emotional energy or brushes it off, it contributes to the moodiness. We ESFPs have, for lack of a better analogy, an emotional sonar. We express our feelings or moods, and the reactions of those around us help us orient ourselves and figure out how the feelings fit into the reality versus our perception of the reality. If the reflection isn't particularly helpful or is a :confused: reaction instead of or , we get all discombobulated, and our feelings tend to bounce around before getting oriented again.



    Your ESFP friend sounds both very young, and very hurt. Her determination to avoid what appears to be serious things and personality stuff indicates to me that she has been very badly hurt in the past, she knows it, and she really wants to avoid dealing with it.
    "Every well-bred petty crook knows -- the small concealable weapons always go to the far left of the place setting."
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  9. #19
    Rainy Day Woman MDP2525's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eowyn View Post
    Yes we do. And if the person we're hanging out with doesn't understand how to reflect our emotional energy or brushes it off, it contributes to the moodiness. We ESFPs have, for lack of a better analogy, an emotional sonar. We express our feelings or moods, and the reactions of those around us help us orient ourselves and figure out how the feelings fit into the reality versus our perception of the reality. If the reflection isn't particularly helpful or is a :confused: reaction instead of or , we get all discombobulated, and our feelings tend to bounce around before getting oriented again.
    Wow! What an awesome way of describing ESFP's. This is exactly what I have seen in them.
    ~luck favors the ready~


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  10. #20
    PEST that STEPs on PETS stellar renegade's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eowyn View Post
    :fairy noise:

    Hello. I can explain that. Does it have a practical application? Because if it doesn't, and it's just theory, and it won't actually make a difference in everyday life, then I'm not going to waste my time and energy on it.
    Oh no, what I was hoping one of you would explain is the moodiness part. Which you did, beautifully.

    Quote Originally Posted by Eowyn View Post
    Yes we do. And if the person we're hanging out with doesn't understand how to reflect our emotional energy or brushes it off, it contributes to the moodiness. We ESFPs have, for lack of a better analogy, an emotional sonar. We express our feelings or moods, and the reactions of those around us help us orient ourselves and figure out how the feelings fit into the reality versus our perception of the reality. If the reflection isn't particularly helpful or is a :confused: reaction instead of or , we get all discombobulated, and our feelings tend to bounce around before getting oriented again.
    Ohhh! So that's why my brother had the reaction he did when we tried to explain that his feelings of self-doubt weren't based in reality...
    -stellar renegade
    coo-oo-ooool this madness down,
    stop it right on tiiiiime!


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