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  1. #1
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    Question How to get an ESTP to care

    My ESTP boyfriend does not care at alllllll about how I feel in any situation whether it involves him or not. What can I do to convince him to care about my feeling side? It is so frustrating!!!

    He constantly accuses me of cheating on him and gets mad at me for hanging out with any guy or even talking to one on Facebook. I keep telling him that he needs to calm down because hes stressing me out and making me feel unappreciated after all that go out of my way to do for him. He never reciprocates in any way and thinks its my fault when I tell him I'm upset when he was the one who upset me.

  2. #2
    Senior Member wank's Avatar
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    You can provide more information.
    Everyone is a case study.

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by wank View Post
    You can provide more information.
    Sorry...

  4. #4
    12 and a half weeks BerberElla's Avatar
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    Maybe it would just be best to ditch someone who is always accusing you of cheating? jealousy is a nightmare and in all honesty nothing you ever do ever changes the accusations.

    As to making him care, I'm not a big believer in making anyone care about me, you either care or you don't, you either value the way I feel or you don't. I prefer to leave out the rope that they hang themselves with in the end because trying to get someone to act in another way than how they normally act is simply trying to change them to better fit what you need.

    Find someone who actually does care without you needing to make them, or convince them as any other tactic just leads to stress.
    Echo - "So are you trying to say she is Evil"

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  5. #5
    Nickle Iron Silicone Charmed Justice's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hunni518 View Post
    My ESTP boyfriend does not care at alllllll about how I feel in any situation whether it involves him or not. What can I do to convince him to care about my feeling side? It is so frustrating!!!

    He constantly accuses me of cheating on him and gets mad at me for hanging out with any guy or even talking to one on Facebook. I keep telling him that he needs to calm down because hes stressing me out and making me feel unappreciated after all that go out of my way to do for him. He never reciprocates in any way and thinks its my fault when I tell him I'm upset when he was the one who upset me.
    1. You feel like he doesn't care at all about how you feel in any situation
    2. He accuses you of cheating, constantly
    3. You tell him how his behavior makes you feel, and he continues on with the same
    4. He doesn't reciprocate in any way
    5. He flips the script on you when you tell him you're upset

    So, what's so good about him and your relationship that you stay?

  6. #6
    Artisan Conquerer Halla74's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hunni518 View Post
    My ESTP boyfriend does not care at alllllll about how I feel in any situation whether it involves him or not. What can I do to convince him to care about my feeling side? It is so frustrating!!!

    He constantly accuses me of cheating on him and gets mad at me for hanging out with any guy or even talking to one on Facebook. I keep telling him that he needs to calm down because hes stressing me out and making me feel unappreciated after all that go out of my way to do for him. He never reciprocates in any way and thinks its my fault when I tell him I'm upset when he was the one who upset me.
    ESTPs are not typically jealous, at least the ones I've met.

    We are, however, kind of emotionally detached.

    Talking about "feelings" with us is the equivalent of cutting our fingers off with a rusty spoon.

    He sounds like a jerk, whatever type he is.

    I'd sit him down and read him the riot act if I were you, or dump him.

  7. #7
    Charting a course
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    Quote Originally Posted by Halla74 View Post
    ...cutting our fingers off with a rusty spoon.
    That can be arranged. I'll help.

  8. #8
    PEST that STEPs on PETS stellar renegade's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Halla74 View Post
    ESTPs are not typically jealous, at least the ones I've met.

    We are, however, kind of emotionally detached.

    Talking about "feelings" with us is the equivalent of cutting our fingers off with a rusty spoon.

    He sounds like a jerk, whatever type he is.

    I'd sit him down and read him the riot act if I were you, or dump him.
    Exactly. (I love the line about the rusty spoon - so true! )

    Yeah, I read that post a couple times over and tried to figure out if I could ever associate with being that way, if there was anything you could do to smooth things out or if it made sense at all, and the conclusion I came up with was: he's just a douchebag, time to dump 'im. As far as I can tell, at least. I know how prone your type is to complaining and sometimes making things out to be worse than they are, but you also tend to get a little too attached for your own good and try to be sacrificially faithful.

    Forget it. He's probably the one cheating anyway. Those who are guilty are usually also suspicious.
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  9. #9
    veteran attention whore Jeffster's Avatar
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    SLAP THE TASTE OUT HIS MOUTH
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  10. #10
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    Alright y'all... I see what you're saying. I actually just found out my best friend (a girl) is an ESTP and she absolutely hates my boyfriend. She also would never act anything like him. I think y'all are right, he's just a jerk no matter what type he is. Now... what is an ISFJ to do about this? I will admit that I am very emotionally attached and have a hard time leaving the relationship or getting over it.

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