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  1. #1
    Senior Member INTPness's Avatar
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    Default An INTP question on XSFP's

    I've noticed something about my friends that are either ISFP or ESFP and I'm wondering what this is all about. It's really annoying to me as an INTP, but maybe I'm the one that needs to be more understanding or patient.

    One of these friends will text me. If I'm busy and don't respond, they will text again and say something like, "What's up? How come you aren't answering?" And then they'll call and leave a message and say, "Well, I really needed to talk to you about something, but I guess I'll just wait for you to call back." Then a couple hours later (still during the work day and I'm still busy) they'll text again. I'm thinking, "Come on! This is ridiculous. I'll get back to you when I'm not busy. Get a grip." It's extremely frustrating that they continue to call/text without even considering the fact that I might just be very busy and also not considering the fact that I will indeed get back to them - they know I will.

    The other friend (I lived with him and his wife for a while) would leave for work in the morning and I would talk to him as he was leaving for the day. His wife would still be asleep and would tell him, "Don't call me and wake me up. Let me sleep until the baby wakes up." So, he would leave for work and the very minute he got to work (just 45 minutes after I saw him at the house) he would text me and say, "Is my wife up yet?" I'm thinking, "Dude, work that out with your wife. Don't call me to see what she's doing." It turns out that he just wanted to say "hi" to her. But, that's annoying. Why call another person to see if your wife is awake? Don't bother me with that junk.

    So, to you XSFP's, what's up? Is it just that you need an answer right this second? Does it feel like your head is going to explode if you don't get to talk to the person RIGHT NOW? Does talking to someone provide some kind of assurance or something? I'm just trying to understand what's going through their heads when they do this.

  2. #2
    veteran attention whore Jeffster's Avatar
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    I need everything right this second!

    But if I don't get a response to something, I move on.
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  3. #3
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTPness View Post
    I've noticed something about my friends that are either ISFP or ESFP and I'm wondering what this is all about. It's really annoying to me as an INTP, but maybe I'm the one that needs to be more understanding or patient.

    One of these friends will text me. If I'm busy and don't respond, they will text again and say something like, "What's up? How come you aren't answering?" And then they'll call and leave a message and say, "Well, I really needed to talk to you about something, but I guess I'll just wait for you to call back." Then a couple hours later (still during the work day and I'm still busy) they'll text again. I'm thinking, "Come on! This is ridiculous. I'll get back to you when I'm not busy. Get a grip." It's extremely frustrating that they continue to call/text without even considering the fact that I might just be very busy and also not considering the fact that I will indeed get back to them - they know I will.

    The other friend (I lived with him and his wife for a while) would leave for work in the morning and I would talk to him as he was leaving for the day. His wife would still be asleep and would tell him, "Don't call me and wake me up. Let me sleep until the baby wakes up." So, he would leave for work and the very minute he got to work (just 45 minutes after I saw him at the house) he would text me and say, "Is my wife up yet?" I'm thinking, "Dude, work that out with your wife. Don't call me to see what she's doing." It turns out that he just wanted to say "hi" to her. But, that's annoying. Why call another person to see if your wife is awake? Don't bother me with that junk.

    So, to you XSFP's, what's up? Is it just that you need an answer right this second? Does it feel like your head is going to explode if you don't get to talk to the person RIGHT NOW? Does talking to someone provide some kind of assurance or something? I'm just trying to understand what's going through their heads when they do this.
    Oh man. No way, I hate this habit, too.
    A few SFJ's in my life tend towards this annoying habit.
    i

  4. #4
    PEST that STEPs on PETS stellar renegade's Avatar
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    I don't do that but I've had to work on not expecting an answer right away. Usually I've just sent more texts to see if they'll respond. It's freaked some people out before. It's kind of embarrassing.

    I don't know if my type is guilty of this as well, but I do suspect that I have some F in me...

    Quote Originally Posted by INTPness View Post
    So, to you XSFP's, what's up? Is it just that you need an answer right this second? Does it feel like your head is going to explode if you don't get to talk to the person RIGHT NOW? Does talking to someone provide some kind of assurance or something? I'm just trying to understand what's going through their heads when they do this.
    I love people and I love interacting with them. It's like an addiction. I constantly want to feel in-touch. It's not just an attention-craving, it's a people-and-interaction craving. Don't know why, it just seems built into my DNA.
    -stellar renegade
    coo-oo-ooool this madness down,
    stop it right on tiiiiime!


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  5. #5
    Junior Member Captain's Avatar
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    For me, when I think of what I need to say, it needs to be said at that exact moment for fear of

    a. missing my opportunity to convey what I thought was so darn important
    b. finally catching you at a time when it is too late for my message to mean anything
    c. botching what it was I wanted to say and receiving and unfavorable outcome.

    But that's rarely the case unless it's something concerning my relationship with another person.
    "We demand... ANOTHER SHRUBBERY!" ~The Knights Who Say Ni

    My teacher: Did you get the answer to your question?
    My best friend: Yes I did; I used my noggin!
    My teacher: No you didn't, who'd you really ask?

  6. #6

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    I don't do that. I have done it but that was to harass people so I could get the money they owed me.

  7. #7
    PEST that STEPs on PETS stellar renegade's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Captain View Post
    For me, when I think of what I need to say, it needs to be said at that exact moment for fear of

    a. missing my opportunity to convey what I thought was so darn important
    b. finally catching you at a time when it is too late for my message to mean anything
    c. botching what it was I wanted to say and receiving and unfavorable outcome.

    But that's rarely the case unless it's something concerning my relationship with another person.
    Agreed, except that's true for me regarding witty comments too.
    -stellar renegade
    coo-oo-ooool this madness down,
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  8. #8
    Junior Member Captain's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stellar renegade View Post
    Agreed, except that's true for me regarding witty comments too.
    Oh true that. It's always better in person though; I try to avoid phone calls if I can.
    "We demand... ANOTHER SHRUBBERY!" ~The Knights Who Say Ni

    My teacher: Did you get the answer to your question?
    My best friend: Yes I did; I used my noggin!
    My teacher: No you didn't, who'd you really ask?

  9. #9
    PEST that STEPs on PETS stellar renegade's Avatar
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    Right, well I'll use timing with texting too but of course that's only if we're texting back and forth already.
    -stellar renegade
    coo-oo-ooool this madness down,
    stop it right on tiiiiime!


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  10. #10
    Junior Member Captain's Avatar
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    Agreed.
    "We demand... ANOTHER SHRUBBERY!" ~The Knights Who Say Ni

    My teacher: Did you get the answer to your question?
    My best friend: Yes I did; I used my noggin!
    My teacher: No you didn't, who'd you really ask?

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