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  1. #11
    PEST that STEPs on PETS stellar renegade's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mcmartinez84 View Post
    If it's not thinking about them, then yeah, I forget. I'm very "out of sight, out of mind"...
    Me too. I've disappointed and sometimes hurt people by just completely forgetting about them when they're not around...

    Quote Originally Posted by Blackprince View Post
    I'm defining 'forget' in terms of... the way you forget say bout your primary school... So for me, I was once in primary school, but that was way back and I have no desire to revisit those memories.. for good or bad.... its water under the bridge.

    This is as opposed to say, the way some people remember their university days... you definitely acknowledge you have moved on, but you can remember those days fondly... how young you were, the crazy things.... and occassionally 'pine' for those 'good old days' as they say.

    If this helps, this explains what I mean by pining - of course, realistically you cant go back to uni.
    Well for me I've forgotten about elementary school because it doesn't have relevance to me anymore. I would definitely relive those days, though.

    I never went to university but I get the idea. I don't know if I ever 'pine' for days past enough to say that I long for them because I'm so caught up in my enjoyment of the present. I guess I could say that I wouldn't mind reliving the high school days when I would go to all the local punk shows but I can just as well have awesome experiences like that in the present, which I plan on doing.

    So... yeah and no? Those days were fun just like the girls I've been involved with are worth looking back upon fondly but really, I've moved on. And it's not really a gradual thing, either, it's pretty much on/off. If I'm pining for someone, I give them my all. If it's unrequited, I can become depressed for a bit until I eventually do something to shake it off, and then I'm good as new, not even thinking about the person anymore.

    Quote Originally Posted by Blackprince View Post
    For context, I ask because I know two ESTPs (100% STPs) very well... and although, both have moved on to other people, they both seem to have a hot-cold r'ship with one particular ex- of their's that they had a long r'ship with (no terrible break-up involved; just a move on). So I am trying to understand this hot-cold r'ship (by this I mean, they talk to them occassionally, but by and large, they seem to consider or act like these people are 'risky' to remain in contact with....)

    So I am trying to understand wht they might be thinking....

    In summary, ruling out a nasty break up, when is an ex- a risky proposition to stay in contact with?
    Did you ask them why they felt they were risky to keep in contact with? Probly because they could easily be wooed back? I don't understand how that would be risky, though. Do these exes have new partners who might get jealous?

    I have no problem keeping in touch with girls from the past, though I haven't very much.
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  2. #12
    veteran attention whore Jeffster's Avatar
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    Well, there's one ex I am forced to stay in contact with, because we have a child together and she has visitation rights.

    I don't talk to any of my other exes, but I do sometimes think about them and wonder what could have been. I don't really think of it as "pining" though, because it's not like I'm spending many hours of the day thinking about them or something. It's just kind of a passing thought sometimes, or sometimes they show up in my dreams randomly.
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  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by stellar renegade View Post

    Did you ask them why they felt they were risky to keep in contact with? Probly because they could easily be wooed back? I don't understand how that would be risky, though. Do these exes have new partners who might get jealous?

    I have no problem keeping in touch with girls from the past, though I haven't very much.
    Well, I'm the one that assumed that its becos it is risky that they do not want to keep in proper contact.... that seemed to be the only explanation I could come up with...

    The ESTP girl is now married and her ex- is also married.... so to me, it seemed a straight-forward case where they could have stayed friends... But the ESTP girl seems to be undecided about whether to continue being friends or not.... the exact same scenario with the second person, except the ESTP is the guy....

    Based on what you are saying.. it appears its simply a case of you guys moving on truely..... hence, my initial question... do you guys really just move on then, regardless of whatever was shared in the past?

  4. #14
    PEST that STEPs on PETS stellar renegade's Avatar
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    Oh, then it's just a case of not wanting to light an old flame back up again. We're very prone to temptation, we SPs, and if we're wise we simply close old doors so that we're not enticed into walking back through them again, because we know how prone to our impulses we are and how caught up in the moment we can get.

    And rather than shut off that part of our personality (and thus give up any hope of enjoying life again) we'd rather just make it easy and close a door or two (even if it means weakening or even pruning a relationship) so that we can just go on being swept away by life as usual.

    Make sense?
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  5. #15
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    My ESFP best friend Shorty, she dated a guy back in 8th grade (he was in 10th I think). He found us at FB before he found her, and when we told her he was there, the most hilarious conversation ensued because she couldn't remember WHY she'd broken up with him. Or if he broke up with her. Or most anything about that relationship. LOL We were both bent double laughing because it was so "????!!!???!!"
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  6. #16
    PEST that STEPs on PETS stellar renegade's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    My ESFP best friend Shorty, she dated a guy back in 8th grade (he was in 10th I think). He found us at FB before he found her, and when we told her he was there, the most hilarious conversation ensued because she couldn't remember WHY she'd broken up with him. Or if he broke up with her. Or most anything about that relationship. LOL We were both bent double laughing because it was so "????!!!???!!"
    Wow, that's off the charts hilarious. hahaha.
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  7. #17
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stellar renegade View Post
    Wow, that's off the charts hilarious. hahaha.
    :-p *pinches Stellar*

    She's not normally so forgetful. She was like "Musta really loved him, eh?" hahahaha!
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  8. #18
    PEST that STEPs on PETS stellar renegade's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    :-p *pinches Stellar*

    She's not normally so forgetful. She was like "Musta really loved him, eh?" hahahaha!
    *pinches you back*

    Yeah, I'm silly and forget some pretty crazy stuff sometimes too.
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  9. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by stellar renegade View Post
    Oh, then it's just a case of not wanting to light an old flame back up again. We're very prone to temptation, we SPs, and if we're wise we simply close old doors so that we're not enticed into walking back through them again, because we know how prone to our impulses we are and how caught up in the moment we can get.

    And rather than shut off that part of our personality (and thus give up any hope of enjoying life again) we'd rather just make it easy and close a door or two (even if it means weakening or even pruning a relationship) so that we can just go on being swept away by life as usual.

    Make sense?
    Perfect sense!

  10. #20
    Senior Member mcmartinez84's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blackprince View Post
    Perfect sense!
    I'll go ahead and second that
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