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  1. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coeur View Post
    Perhaps he does. It's not like I can talk about it with him, so there's really nothing I can do.

    I like SPs too. Don't you all get the wrong idea about that. XD

    The ball is in his court now. I'm not speaking to him again until he contacts me first. Guaranteed. He shouldn't be pushed away so easily.
    ISTPs value freedom, so let him have it. He may be easily pushed away by the idea of someone confronting him about his feelings. Some people just need space. Ever heard the old cliche that absence makes the heart grow fonder? It may very simply be a INFP/ISTP personality difference. It really may be all too much for him, especially since you mentioned that he still hasn't broken up with his girlfriend.

    Just do your own thing.

  2. #32
    Senior Member Coeur's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    ISTPs value freedom, so let him have it. He may be easily pushed away by the idea of someone confronting him about his feelings. Some people just need space. Ever heard the old cliche that absence makes the heart grow fonder? It may very simply be a INFP/ISTP personality difference. It really may be all too much for him, especially since you mentioned that he still hasn't broken up with his girlfriend.

    Just do your own thing.
    I personally don't see how texting him once every few days or so is clingy. I also don't see how confronting him about things that our affecting our friendship is bad.
    Everybody needs love.

  3. #33
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Speak freely or don't speak at all. You shouldn't have to contort.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  4. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coeur View Post
    I personally don't see how texting him once every few days or so is clingy. I also don't see how confronting him about things that our affecting our friendship is bad.
    I'm just trying to help.

  5. #35
    Senior Member Coeur's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    I'm just trying to help.
    I know. Thank you for that.
    I'm just frustrated with the structure of the relationship. Open communication shouldn't be taboo.
    Everybody needs love.

  6. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coeur View Post
    I know. Thank you for that.
    I'm just frustrated with the structure of the relationship. Open communication shouldn't be taboo.


    Yes, I understand that. It's just that some people react differently to the same feelings. While you may be more inclined to talk about it, he may need distance to let it sink in.

    It's just something I've learned from life experience, to do my own thing if someone is pulling away. It generates better results. I understand that you believe a real friend would contact you even if he was overcome with emotion, but some people withdraw when that happens.

    For all you know he may kick himself for being an ass later on, but he has to come to that conclusion on his own. I'm not trying to lecture you or say you're being clingy, but I am trying to point out that people have different ways of responding, and in my experience with SP men it really is best to maintain your independence and let them come around.

    What seems clingy to an SP may not seem clingy to an NF, and so forth.

  7. #37
    Senior Member Coeur's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post


    Yes, I understand that. It's just that some people react differently to the same feelings. While you may be more inclined to talk about it, he may need distance to let it sink in.

    It's just something I've learned from life experience, to do my own thing if someone is pulling away. It generates better results. I understand that you believe a real friend would contact you even if he was overcome with emotion, but some people withdraw when that happens.

    For all you know he may kick himself for being an ass later on, but he has to come to that conclusion on his own. I'm not trying to lecture you or say you're being clingy, but I am trying to point out that people have different ways of responding, and in my experience with SP men it really is best to maintain your independence and let them come around.

    What seems clingy to an SP may not seem clingy to an NF, and so forth.
    Yeah, I realize right now that there's nothing more that I can do. That will keep the "I should have/could have" thoughts at bay. Perhaps the shoe just didn't fit. I can hope that I didn't make an issue out of nothing, but really, if it was something to me, it should have meant something to him too. A mere handful of words would have sufficed, but he couldn't even do that.
    Everybody needs love.

  8. #38
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Sometimes the timing is just not right and that's all it is.

    Because of that he probably does not want to lead you on further, so he's distant in the hopes that feelings settle (both yours and his).

  9. #39
    Senior Member iamathousandapples's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    For all you know he may kick himself for being an ass later on, but he has to come to that conclusion on his own. I'm not trying to lecture you or say you're being clingy, but I am trying to point out that people have different ways of responding, and in my experience with SP men it really is best to maintain your independence and let them come around.
    This times 10. The only way I can find out I'm in the wrong is if I find it out on my own. If someone goes up and tells me that, there's a near 100% chance that I'm going to resist and the process is going to go on longer.

  10. #40
    veteran attention whore Jeffster's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    I can't understand being romantically interested in someone who seems to confuse you so badly.
    Everyone I've ever been romantically interested in has confused me badly.
    Jeffster Illustrates the Artisan Temperament <---- click here

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