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  1. #1
    The Duchess of Oddity Queen Kat's Avatar
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    Default My ISFP mom should become more selfish.

    My mother is an ISFP and she is way too nice. She does things no one ever asked her for. She protects the people that others are gossiping about. The can't stand it when people are joking about others. She's always concerned about what others are thinking of her. She's very self sacrificing. I find that behaviour extremely annoying. Whenever my mother complains about the fact that she's unhappy (she does it all the time), I explain to her that maybe she should act more like me and be more selfish, but she doesn't listen. So my question is: how could I make my mom behave less annoying and make her become happier?
    I was sitting outside the classroom waiting to go in, and I saw an airplane hit the tower. The TV was obviously on. I used to fly myself and I said, "There's one terrible pilot."
    - George W. Bush -


    SCUAI - 7w8 sx/sp - Chaotic Evil - Fucking Cute - ALIVE

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  2. #2
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
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    She likes that people use her. Don't worry about it, just the complaining is the problem and thats probably not going to change.

  3. #3
    Welcome to Sunnyside Mondo's Avatar
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    She probably feels needed this way- nothing you can do about it- sorry.
    Are you sure you're an ENFP,
    MBTI Type: iNTj
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  4. #4
    The Duchess of Oddity Queen Kat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mondo View Post
    Are you sure you're an ENFP,
    I guess, yeah, but I'm leaning to INTP. Why?
    I was sitting outside the classroom waiting to go in, and I saw an airplane hit the tower. The TV was obviously on. I used to fly myself and I said, "There's one terrible pilot."
    - George W. Bush -


    SCUAI - 7w8 sx/sp - Chaotic Evil - Fucking Cute - ALIVE

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    If you don't agree about my MBTI type, you can complain about it here. I've had plenty of people telling me I'm something else, in my reputation box. That's annoying.

  5. #5
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    You can't make people change, and they won't change until they're ready.

    Your mom will not change until she gets more out of the change than she does out of what she's currently doing (which is presenting herself as an "incorrigibly nice person" in the eyes of other people, including herself).

    Do not get me wrong, I think your mom is very sincere in wanting to help people... but that behavior is becoming distorted due to what she is unconsciously trying to get out of it... resulting in the annoyance you feel, because at some level it's definitely a distortion.

    You can put your ideas out there, you can live yourself in a way you think is more productive, you can challenge her (kindly) when you think she's over the edge on something... but it's not your job to fix her nor can you long-term. That part is up to her.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  6. #6
    PEST that STEPs on PETS stellar renegade's Avatar
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    How sure are you that she's an ISFP?
    -stellar renegade
    coo-oo-ooool this madness down,
    stop it right on tiiiiime!


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  7. #7
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    I agree that she might not be an ISFP. Sounds more like a J. It sounds like she has a serious case of Fe gone wrong.

  8. #8
    The Duchess of Oddity Queen Kat's Avatar
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    She might be a ISFx, but she seems more P to me that J.
    I was sitting outside the classroom waiting to go in, and I saw an airplane hit the tower. The TV was obviously on. I used to fly myself and I said, "There's one terrible pilot."
    - George W. Bush -


    SCUAI - 7w8 sx/sp - Chaotic Evil - Fucking Cute - ALIVE

    Blog. Read it, bitches.
    Questions? Click here
    If you don't agree about my MBTI type, you can complain about it here. I've had plenty of people telling me I'm something else, in my reputation box. That's annoying.

  9. #9
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    I say this because what your mom does that bugs you so much sounds like Fe.

    Fe does nice things for people that nobody asked for. Fe can care too much about what other people think.

    Also, ISFJs can stereotypically suffer from "doormat syndrome" where they just do for everyone and get walked all over.

  10. #10
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    Just for your contemplation ISFJ Profile

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