[ISFP] ISFPs and Codepency

[kätzchen0812]

I was just talking with my INFJ friend about codepenency. I looked it up online (long list of symptoms here: Symptoms of Codependence) and I have about 99% of those symptoms.

I'm wondering if ISFPs are more prone to being codependent, or if there are a lot of ISFPs out there who struggle with codepency.

 

[Poki]

I can see how an ISFP may have some of those symptoms based on the way I am. When I notice someone needs help I try my hardest to logically figure out a way to help them. If someone is in pain it may just be something as simple as letting them relax and doing things for them, you dont always have to fix the pain. The ultimate goal is to help them feel better and take care of Fi. If it is someone I really care about I can beat myself up if I cant figure out a way to get them to feel better.

I think this is an inferior Te and Fe that drive this feeling. Sometimes I dont feel adequate that I can really help other people because I am a very quiet person. The more I experience life the better I feel about helping others though. Its like I first need the experience before I know what to do and being an introverted person the experience comes very slowly. My wife being dominant Fe doesnt need the experience, but she needs someone to tell her how to help. By being an outgoing person she aquires the experience, but in the process ends up with a weak Ti because she doesnt try and figure it out on her own. Me being quiet I try to figure it out on my own, but I lack the experience.

To tackle this on your own you need to learn how to jump in and start being more social. Coming from an ISTP I really understand how hard this is. For me it has been a slow process, but as I do it I slowly get better and better. I am still a very quiet person, but im making progress.

 

[Poki]

I was just talking with my INFJ friend about codepenency. I looked it up online (long list of symptoms here: Symptoms of Codependence) and I have about 99% of those symptoms.

I'm wondering if ISFPs are more prone to being codependent, or if there are a lot of ISFPs out there who struggle with codepency.

Just a question that I have never thought to ask another person on here that popped in my mind from reading this, sometimes do you hold off from doing things or saying things because you feel awkward about how the other person is gonna read into it. I have a hard time complimenting women because I dont want them to get the wrong impression. Just something as simple as "you look really nice today".

 

[wolfy]

I don't really see myself in much of that list.

 

[Poki]

One more thing, co-dependency is not always a bad thing unless the co-dependent relationship causes you to stick with a relationship that is bad for you.

 

[markscol]

i would say that i think ISFPs are typically more likely to be co-dependent than many other types. I would agree with you, for SURE

 

[Julie1962]

Well .. I married a healthy guy so I don't have any co-dependency issues with him. But I have a son with bi polar and I find that my moods depend on his moods. I have a hard time detaching.

 

[Thalassa]

I know one who does.

 

[Fading Dead Star]

Err...
This is an extremely wide set of 'symptoms' which could surely apply to someone with any personality type by the looks of things.

 

[ilovetrannies]

Oh my. Hmm, I do have some of those problems but I think it is because of my very low self-esteem. That list is really scary.

 

[Wonkavision]

An ISFP I know comes to mind, but I don't feel I'm in a position to tell this person I believe they are codependent.

I simply avoid the person in question, because of the codependent behaviors.

 

[Randomnity]

There seems to be a lot of overlap of that list with passive aggression, which seems to be fairly common in IxxPs in general.

My mom fits a LOT of those 'symptoms' and I know she's bought codependency self-help books before but she buys a lot of self-help books on various syndromes she (thinks she) has. History of bad relationshps with needy people, certainly. And trying to 'save' everyone. I've thought she's INFP but I'm starting to lean towards ISFP, it's hard to tell since she doesn't really have much free time to indulge her interests.

My ISFP bf on the other hand fits some of that huge list (mostly the passive aggressive ones and many the same as me actually) but definitely isn't codependent.

Probably some personalities are pre-disposed to different kinds of issues but certainly any type can be mentally healthy or unhealthy.