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Thread: Unhealthy ISTP

  1. #51
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Intricate Mystic View Post
    I know you have said previously how hurtful your ISTP has been in the past, but did you know that as men get older, and their testosterone levels start dropping, they get more in touch with their feelings? Your ISTP is probably going to be really great as he gets older. Older ISTP men rock.
    But-is it Fe coming out???? Whatever it is, it feels like control, caring, but controlling.... However anyone who wants to date a great ISTP guy just let me know and I'll pass him your way... He is an awesome guy as he ages-just not for me.

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    Quote Originally Posted by phoenity View Post
    I have learned to pick up on other's feelings via sensing, from facial expressions, body language, tone of voice, etc, because I have always relied on sensing as my best source of information.
    How have you been able to rely on others feelings? I have had someone make a comment at me out of frustration until she realized it was me and then apologized for that comment because it was me. So in this case how did they really feel about what I did? All you get are there feelings toward you, not the action. Have you ever laughed at something while someone told you something that hurt them. You laugh at the action while you feel sadness for them. All they see is a laugh. This is when I confuse myself trying to figure this out. I get lost in internal abstract thought and get confused as to what I saw vs what is real.

    Quote Originally Posted by Intricate Mystic View Post
    What a great mom you have! I think teaching children facial queues is a wonderful thing to do.

    Its funny when her and my dad argue because The second he says something I dont think she will agree with I turn to her and watch her face and her words and they dont match up. Then she notices I noticed. Its kinda funny. She did this the other day and as me and her walked towards the house she said to me, "i'll fix it later" refering to the way something looked that her and my dad didnt agree on.

  3. #53
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ne-Monster View Post
    But-is it Fe coming out????Whatever it is, it feels like control, caring, but controlling.... However anyone who wants to date a great ISTP guy just let me know and I'll pass him your way... He is an awesome guy as he ages-just not for me.
    At his age, it's probably just him maturing more than Fe coming out, unless he knows about MBTI and is making a real effort to develop Fe. Have you told him that it feels like he's being caring but in a controlling way? It's so sad that he's an awesome guy, the father of your children, yet he isn't for you.

  4. #54
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    Quote Originally Posted by Intricate Mystic View Post
    At his age, it's probably just him maturing more than Fe coming out, unless he knows about MBTI and is making a real effort to develop Fe. Have you told him that it feels like he's being caring but in a controlling way? It's so sad that he's an awesome guy, the father of your children, yet he isn't for you.
    Yes, but her sadness and hurt from him is real, the sadness and hurt of them splitting up that you are referring to is toward what "should be". There is only so much "should be" that you can endure.

  5. #55
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    Quote Originally Posted by poki View Post
    Yes, but her sadness and hurt is real, the sadness and hurt of them splitting up that you are referring to is toward what "should be". There is only so much "should be" that you can endure.
    Being the idealistic person that I am, I can personally endure a whole lotta "should be", but I realize that isn't necessarily the case for other people.

  6. #56
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    Quote Originally Posted by poki View Post
    You confused with the thinking that an object can have intentions. I think i understand the thing about getting purple instead of sweet/salty, etc. Its like when you taset something it brings up the thought purple. More than likely you have associated that with a purple object. I strangely understand you because my brain works on things like that, but not as vague. Things pop into my head, for example songs. you can sit there and say something and a song pops into my head with those words or meaning. I think I may spend more time in my head so these things are more well defined and not as vague as purple.
    Ni is a strange animal. My INFJ father and I were sitting in the doctor's office a few months ago. He was chatting with me to take my mind off the 60+ needles being jabbed into my arms. We were talking about introverted Intuition, and he said it reminded him concretely of "Slaughterhouse Five". Jumping from one moment to the next, creating a spider web of connections between seemingly disjointed items. At another appt, he and I wound up talking about John Wayne movies with my INTJ doctor. It got rather existential with all of that unfettered Ni flying around.

    I'm always astonished where my Ni will drag me.

    Quote Originally Posted by jixmixfix View Post
    does that mean I'm fucked for good?
    Sure, why not!

    Quote Originally Posted by jixmixfix View Post
    I think ISTP's with high N's tend to be less risk takers more cautious and afraid, anxious ect. "sensing" is starting to become more of a thing of the past since our world is now evolving towards the necessity of understanding theory in order to adapt. In order to counter the "N" you have be in situations where you could put your sensing to good use. So ISTPs with high N's go outside for Jog play sports ect. to get outside your head.
    Quote Originally Posted by Intricate Mystic View Post
    It seems to me that ISTPs that are high in Ni would seem similar to INTPs. How can one tell the difference?
    I can answer both of these at once, I think.

    In my auto garage, there was an INTP genius. He and I had dated. There was also my laid-back ISTP best friend (who liked INTP and went everywhere with my group). But there was also (in a rival group) another ISTP mechanic that I got entangled with. He was obviously not an N primary, but it was very high tertiary N, and it made him terribly neurotic and maladaptive (drug/substance addictions) at points. He was really smart and shrewd, played his cards close to his chest, was good with his hands, but wanted way more than what was in front of his eyes. He had a level of physical confidence too that seems to exert itself more strongly in Se users. When he was coming on to me, I knew he wasn't just playing around with an idea. It was serious business.

    When I looked into INTP's eyes, I could see a brilliant but immaterial human being. When I looked into ISTP's eyes, it was sometimes human, sometimes animal, flickering back and forth madly.

    Then there's the irritatingly vague Fe/Ni remark of "the vibe was different".

    Quote Originally Posted by phoenity View Post
    I've done that as well - I don't think it's weird at all to use a color to describe a taste, as color is one of many aspects of a sensation for me.
    What I hate is not being able to use a concrete term for what I want to describe. "Purple" may describe the taste, but there's a BETTER word for it and I struggle with my own brain to give it to me.

    I can recall tasting something and describing it as "purple". My friends were confused, because what I actually meant was that the flavor reminded me of artificial grape flavoring, and those things tend to be purple in color.

    It's funny because my mind doesn't associate artificial grape flavoring with the flavor of a real grape or grape juice, since the flavor of real grape is so much more complex and different, so it associates that artificial flavor primarily with just the color purple.

    Purple Kool-Aid, purple Flavor Ice, purple Gobstoppers, they all taste like purple to me!

    Everytime I drink Guinness, or any other strong stout, the sensation of "black" is appearing in my mind, probably because of the color that it is, and also associating it with other black things like black coffee, motor oil, or ash - essentially a very earthy flavor.
    Interesting! Could that be back-to-back interplay between Se and Ni?

  7. #57
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    Quote Originally Posted by poki View Post
    How have you been able to rely on others feelings? I have had someone make a comment at me out of frustration until she realized it was me and then apologized for that comment because it was me. So in this case how did they really feel about what I did? All you get are there feelings toward you, not the action. Have you ever laughed at something while someone told you something that hurt them. You laugh at the action while you feel sadness for them. All they see is a laugh. This is when I confuse myself trying to figure this out. I get lost in internal abstract thought and get confused as to what I saw vs what is real.
    I didn't say I rely on others feelings.

    I said I rely on sensing to pick up on cues about other's feelings. This doesn't tell me exactly how they feel or why the feel that way, just gives me an idea. I could intuit how they feel and why they feel that way, but that would not be my strong point, so I would prefer to rely on straight-forward, honest communication.

    If I'm working with someone, trying to communicate an idea or whatever, if they aren't getting it, I might be able to detect frustration from their facial expressions or hear it in their voice. If this happens, and I suspect they might not be following, I will be patient and calmly ask them what they don't understand so that our communication is clear. I don't know how they feel, but I pick up on something that may indicate a feeling, so I follow up on that to find out, rather than ignoring it until the situation explodes.

    I have been humored by a situation where I did something and unintentionally hurt someone's feelings. I was not humored by the fact that I hurt their feelings, but at the situation itself - the difference in perception between people. I would smile innocently, explain that it was unintended and sincerely apologize.

    If I were to laugh outwardly, but be experiencing a different feeling inside, that only contributes to the confusion.


    What you see is real to you. But it may not be real to someone else. This is especially true concerning human interactions and feelings.

    So I don't get lost in internal abstract thought about what is real to me. I open up and communicate to the other person to find out what is real to them.

  8. #58
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    Quote Originally Posted by Intricate Mystic View Post
    Being the idealistic person that I am, I can personally endure a whole lotta "should be", but I realize that isn't necessarily the case for other people.
    I like how people pull things outta what is not said. How do you know how much should be was endured and that you could endure more? This is what I pulled out of what you said

  9. #59
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    Quote Originally Posted by poki View Post
    I like how people pull things outta what is not said. How do you know how much should be was endured and that you could endure more? This is what I pulled out of what you said
    OK, you got me. I don't know how much she endured or if I could endure more if in the same situation. My J was coming out in that post- should have known that would get me a little hassled on a SP forum.

    I guess I'm just against divorce. Nobody in my family has ever gotten a divorce, out of grandparents, parents, aunts and uncles, and cousins. I know that people can work things out in a marriage, even though it's not always easy. (If someone is being abused, though, or their spouse has seemingly intractable addiction issues, that's another matter.)

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    Quote Originally Posted by phoenity View Post
    So I don't get lost in internal abstract thought about what is real to me. I open up and communicate to the other person to find out what is real to them.
    All you get is what they want you to know, you dont get what is real. You get a skewed perception of what they want to let out. The more hurt they have the less they want to let out, the more skewed your reality becomes. All of this is all from bringing what I have seen from the people I interact with into my head and abstracting it. I try to get behind what is in front of me in an unintrusive way so as not to disturb it so to say.

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