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[SP] Easy-going SP's...what makes you angry?

phoenity

New member
Joined
Feb 27, 2008
Messages
472
Well, the most recent event was this: I just got this job at a corporate, very busy, high turnover restaurant. I realized this environment isn't to my liking and put my notice in after working there about a week. I just know whether something's a fit or not and this place wasn't for me. But I put notice in and was going to fulfill my responsibility to the restaurant.

On a busy Friday night, I forgot to put in a table's order. My boss came up to me and chewed me out. Okay, fair enough. But after telling me this my boss pulls me aside again a few minutes later and lays into me about how I'm not paying attention and my focus is elsewhere and basically telling me that I'm not doing a good job, etc. She then tells me since I put my notice in that this could be my last night and don't worry about coming in.

Keep in mind...this was only my third shift at this restaurant and I made two minor mistakes earlier in the night. However, these first two mistakes didn't affect service like the last mistake about not putting the order in.

My reaction to her was utter bewilderment! Like, "Okay. I've already apologized. Why is this person coming at me like this? Why is she taking this so personally?" I really wasn't angry. More hurt that she would question my efforts of trying to do a good job. I just wanted to escape the situation.

I thought that was the end of it but at the end of the night when I was handing in my checkout my boss brought up the situation again. This is when I got angry. I told her that "bringing it up again was pointless because she herself told me that this was my last night. So who cares about further discussion of my error?! Also, I had already apologized to her and my table. So what more could I do. Also, it was my third shift and no one is perfect. After all, this is not an uncommon error and that she was taking it way too seriously." I felt like she wanted to get a rise out of me and wasn't going to be satisfied she got a reaction from me. (I have sort of a flat affect). Luckily she didn't see my anger but I had to vent to my friend afterward.

I guess her ego didn't like the fact that she brought up the situation three times in an attempt to get an emotional response out of you, but you remained calm and rational. I would have handled myself the same way because that's the only reasonable thing to do, but perhaps she perceived this attitude as you not caring. But then some egos feed off negativity.

There's no reason for you to be angry. The past has passed. You rectified the situation as best you could, and apologized. It's no longer a problem. If she chooses to hold onto it, then it becomes solely her problem.
 

KarenParker

New member
Joined
Mar 3, 2009
Messages
319
MBTI Type
ESFP
Enneagram
7
What makes me the most angry in the world is when people aren't careful about others feelings. That and being given the run around by people!
 

StephMC

Controlled Mischief
Joined
Mar 2, 2009
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9w8
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sp/sx
I don't really get angry... I get irritated and peeved sometimes, but rarely "angry." And general things don't really upset me... it's more very, specific things... it depends on what the action was, who did it, why they did it, what was going on at the moment, etc, etc. Because 9 times out of 10, I just shrug it off. When I'm in a grumpy mood I may have random flashes of anger, but I rarely put it on display. I have to rationalize everything before I "display" anger. :p When it comes to friends and family, I usually only get angry at people I'm the closest to. I guess in a way, it's because I -do- care about them. Someone/something not worth my time isn't worth getting angry at.

Although things like animal abuse and the such pisses me off all the time. I think all those jackasses on shows like Animal Cops Houston need to get their butts whooped. :) Oh, and as a few other people mentioned... don't mess with people I'm protective over. I will *Bleep* their *Bleep* up. *Bleep*.
 

ChocolateMoose123

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I guess her ego didn't like the fact that she brought up the situation three times in an attempt to get an emotional response out of you, but you remained calm and rational. I would have handled myself the same way because that's the only reasonable thing to do, but perhaps she perceived this attitude as you not caring. But then some egos feed off negativity.

I'm sure this has something to do with it. However, It couldn't be further from the truth. If I apologized then I felt sorry. I have to admit that this "testing" has caused me to lose my temper in the past. I think my feelings are apparent through my actions and when they are consistently questioned or doubted - this makes me angry.

Where's the NT's...what makes you angry thread?! :laugh:
 

totallypsycho

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Joined
Jun 5, 2009
Messages
17
MBTI Type
ESxP
1. if i sense that you are judging me before you know me on a personal level. seriously you can forget about ever being friends with me if you do this.

2. imposing yourself upon others without respect for personal boundaries(example: peta). regardless of whether i agree with your beliefs or not i will disregard them if you present them in this manner

3. people who do things without considering wat effects their actions might have on others, whether willfully or not. (example: war in iraq & families/taxpayers who have to cover the bill)

4. impolite people. everyone should have basic etiquette
 

Walking Tourist

it's tea time!
Joined
Nov 11, 2008
Messages
1,452
MBTI Type
esfp
Enneagram
7
Yeah, what Jeffster said... stupid drivers who don't know or don't care that pedestrians always have the right of way... people who enforce mindless rules... bossy people... arrogant people...
I don't like being ordered around and I don't like being spoken to in a hostile, unpleasant way. If you want me to do something, ask me, don't tell me. If you're nice to me, I'll go out of my way to accommodate you because I really want to make you happy. But if you're mean, you can just take a long walk off a short pier.
Whew.
I don't hold grudges. Once I get over being mad, I'm done. That's it. I let it go and move on.
 

Jeffster

veteran attention whore
Joined
Jun 7, 2008
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6,743
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So is it rare for an SP to feel anger? or is it rare that an SP feels the need to do anything about said anger?

It's not rare for me. But like I said, I get over it fast. I used to be the opposite, I let stuff fester inside me too long because I had a fear of letting anger out (a lot of that is probably due to the way my father was.) So when I was like that, I would do nothing about angry feelings until they reached a boiling point and then I would totally unload on whoever and whatever happened to be in range at the time.

As I grew older, I learned to let myself release some of the anger quickly and then get over it, and I think I'm much healthier because of it.
 

Kingfisher

full of love
Joined
May 24, 2009
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1,685
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So is it rare for an SP to feel anger? or is it rare that an SP feels the need to do anything about said anger?

it is rare that i feel anger. everyday things do not anger me, it is only really important and substantial things that anger me. i never hold my anger in, but i just do not get angry about anything that isn't major.
when i do get angry, i definitely feel the need to 'do something' about it. i get much more edgy and irritated if i can't do something with my anger, whether it is lashing out at the person i am angry with, or taking it out on my punching bag.

how do understand what you stand for and what you won't...is this decided at the moment of action?

no, i feel like i have very well developed ideals and values, but they are always lying dormant inside me. i do not think about them much, i do not examine my values. but when they are pushed or tested, i find that they rise to the surface very quickly and are very strong. i really feel guided by my values in a big way, but in everyday life they are not tested that much, so people are maybe not that aware of them.
at the moment of action i am just acting, my values are already in place.
 

stellar renegade

PEST that STEPs on PETS
Joined
Jul 13, 2009
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Skipping most of this, but just about everything on the first page resonates with me. Nothing really peeves me off but people trying to control my actions, or several situations not working out all at once, and they have to be pretty big things affecting the near future. Even then I cool down after an hour or two.

Or getting into a heated argument with my best friend, of course, especially when he implies things about my motives.

Otherwise I feel like it'll all work out, and I don't get easily offended by what people say to me to try to stir me up. I'm usually just like, "You think you're a pretty big deal, don't you?"

And I think arguments with people I don't know very well (which are rare, or at least I don't percieve them as arguments) are generally pretty funny.

And, yeah, if someone is getting unjustly treated I get pretty enraged, too.
 

bananafish

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Feb 16, 2009
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125
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I don't get angry often or easily; but when I do, it's usually when someone starts nitpicking or bickering on what's/who's important to me. Or what should be.
 

aguanile

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Jul 25, 2008
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well i am very easy going, i rarely get angry or even upset.
but i get pretty outraged at people taking advantage of others, or people being abusive (verbally, emotionally, physically). that really sets me off, i am pretty explosive about those things.

I couldn't have said it better. I can get pretty outrageous about such things.
 

wank

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Jul 17, 2009
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free
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nope
I really very rarely get angry... but,...

I do when people go out of their way to cause issues, as a premise of excessive negative intent.

My reaction(if it's a matter outside of people that affect day to day living*): Anger thoughts, then, bait said people into near rage, then fail to engage them so as not to allow them any satisfaction of relieving there energy/adrenalin, after they're gone fall into a quick depression about the nature of people and how they reflected on those thoughts, then, beautiful music.

I don't get angry outside of one on one encounters, just a tad unhappy in really negative situations.

*:in this case I just let things implode on them with my subtle helping hand.
 

stellar renegade

PEST that STEPs on PETS
Joined
Jul 13, 2009
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Last night an Idealist coworker said that he knew how to make Artisans angry (Idealist = NF, Artisan = SP). I said, whatever. He tried talking shit about my crush situation and I shrugged him off.

A few minutes later I was trying to text her or her boyfriend and he kept talking to me about something, can't remember what. I kept telling him to shut up and finally just about yelled at him cuz I was so annoyed.

I was like, dang, maybe you do know how to make me angry. And he said, what's funny is what you got angry at. He laughed and I half-smiled.

(Of course, my display of "anger" was less sincere and more of an attempt to get him to just stop talking.)
 

millerm277

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Feb 1, 2008
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978
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ISTP
Curious to hear what actually does make an SP angry enough to react? emote? verbalize it?

-Blatant lying to me. A little white lie or something minor, whatever. If you're just lying entirely about something important is what I'm talking about.
-Arbitrary enforcement of rules that serve no purpose.
-Anything that endangers or messes with my or other people's lives/property as a result of your actions.


That's about it. I am extraordinarily level-headed, both in positive and negative emotions, but those couple things override most of my stability. I will say, that if you make me angry, through one of the three methods above, I WILL go out of my way to make your life hell, and I will succeed, most likely through what I deem most damaging....which usually doesn't involve immediate retribution. There are exceptions of course, but not many.

On a related note....pranks are potentially worse than anything else on this list. ANYTHING that messes with me or any of my stuff while I'm sleeping. I sleep soundly, but wake up in an instant when anything seems amiss. The problem being, I'm not fully awake at that point....and, well...

Someone once started trying to draw on me and spray shaving cream/pour hair gel and all that crap. Unfortunately for them, that lasted 15 seconds before I woke up. Even more unfortunately, my mind apparently realized what was going on before my self-control kicked in. As a result, my response was to roll out of bed, punch them in the stomach hard enough that the wind was knocked out of them making them fall down, and snap their sharpie marker in half, throw it at them, and go back to bed. The funny part is, I didn't remember any of this in the morning and had to be told. :D Happily for both me and other people, no one has ever bothered me again.

Anyway, the point of that story is: I have the anger and rage, I just normally suppress most of it, and all of the physical aspect, because...well, it's f***ing dangerous.
 

wolfy

awsm
Joined
Jun 30, 2008
Messages
12,251
Stupid rules with no reason, big egos with small brains. People trying to force something on you. Like others said, I tend to get more angry seeing something happen to someone else.
 

Poki

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Dec 4, 2008
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Stupid rules with no reason, big egos with small brains. People trying to force something on you. Like others said, I tend to get more angry seeing something happen to someone else.

When someone manipulates those that I care about. I dont care for stupid rules, I am really good at finding ways around them. Very little really makes me angry. Actions as long as there not in a manipulatory way do not bother me. I am generally for the most part a very patient person when it comes to other people and there actions. Even when I do get angry I dont ever get adrenaline rushes and I am able to maintain complete control of myself. Now when it comes to going somewhere or doing something I can become impatient, especially if we are about to go do something fun. I just want to leave and get started.
 

stellar renegade

PEST that STEPs on PETS
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Jul 13, 2009
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1,446
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I'm with you, poki. Except that sometimes the rules can't be gotten around. But I'm always under control when I'm angry. I don't know what it's like to be out of control angry.
 

Domino

ENFJ In Chains
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Nov 5, 2007
Messages
11,429
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Last night an Idealist coworker said that he knew how to make Artisans angry (Idealist = NF, Artisan = SP). I said, whatever. He tried talking shit about my crush situation and I shrugged him off.

A few minutes later I was trying to text her or her boyfriend and he kept talking to me about something, can't remember what. I kept telling him to shut up and finally just about yelled at him cuz I was so annoyed.

I was like, dang, maybe you do know how to make me angry. And he said, what's funny is what you got angry at. He laughed and I half-smiled.

(Of course, my display of "anger" was less sincere and more of an attempt to get him to just stop talking.)

What a creep.

You should undermine him by telling him that he's not special - he'd get on anyone's nerves. Oh to be generalized into oblivion.

I knew a guy who hated my crush so much he would tell people I was angry at him (the guy, not my crush) just to get my attention/insert himself into my life. It was possibly the strangest method of extortion I'd ever seen. I tried gritting my teeth through it (I have a very low tolerance for passive-aggression/below-the-radar hostile takeovers) but finally, after the umpteenth time of him announcing, "Pink's mad at me!", I turned on him and calmly told him that even if my crush was a total flat-out bastard it didn't matter because "I don't want you."

Could this creepy co-worker be trying to annoy you in order to insert himself into your life?
 

stellar renegade

PEST that STEPs on PETS
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Jul 13, 2009
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I think he just wants to be noticed. He's just crazy in general, saying and doing the most random things.

I've gotten used to it.
 

Domino

ENFJ In Chains
Joined
Nov 5, 2007
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You could always surround your desk with potted cacti. :D
 
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