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  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by MDP2525 View Post
    Well, the most recent event was this: I just got this job at a corporate, very busy, high turnover restaurant. I realized this environment isn't to my liking and put my notice in after working there about a week. I just know whether something's a fit or not and this place wasn't for me. But I put notice in and was going to fulfill my responsibility to the restaurant.

    On a busy Friday night, I forgot to put in a table's order. My boss came up to me and chewed me out. Okay, fair enough. But after telling me this my boss pulls me aside again a few minutes later and lays into me about how I'm not paying attention and my focus is elsewhere and basically telling me that I'm not doing a good job, etc. She then tells me since I put my notice in that this could be my last night and don't worry about coming in.

    Keep in mind...this was only my third shift at this restaurant and I made two minor mistakes earlier in the night. However, these first two mistakes didn't affect service like the last mistake about not putting the order in.

    My reaction to her was utter bewilderment! Like, "Okay. I've already apologized. Why is this person coming at me like this? Why is she taking this so personally?" I really wasn't angry. More hurt that she would question my efforts of trying to do a good job. I just wanted to escape the situation.

    I thought that was the end of it but at the end of the night when I was handing in my checkout my boss brought up the situation again. This is when I got angry. I told her that "bringing it up again was pointless because she herself told me that this was my last night. So who cares about further discussion of my error?! Also, I had already apologized to her and my table. So what more could I do. Also, it was my third shift and no one is perfect. After all, this is not an uncommon error and that she was taking it way too seriously." I felt like she wanted to get a rise out of me and wasn't going to be satisfied she got a reaction from me. (I have sort of a flat affect). Luckily she didn't see my anger but I had to vent to my friend afterward.
    I guess her ego didn't like the fact that she brought up the situation three times in an attempt to get an emotional response out of you, but you remained calm and rational. I would have handled myself the same way because that's the only reasonable thing to do, but perhaps she perceived this attitude as you not caring. But then some egos feed off negativity.

    There's no reason for you to be angry. The past has passed. You rectified the situation as best you could, and apologized. It's no longer a problem. If she chooses to hold onto it, then it becomes solely her problem.

  2. #22
    Senior Member KarenParker's Avatar
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    What makes me the most angry in the world is when people aren't careful about others feelings. That and being given the run around by people!
    E - 79% I - 21%
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  3. #23
    Controlled Mischief StephMC's Avatar
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    I don't really get angry... I get irritated and peeved sometimes, but rarely "angry." And general things don't really upset me... it's more very, specific things... it depends on what the action was, who did it, why they did it, what was going on at the moment, etc, etc. Because 9 times out of 10, I just shrug it off. When I'm in a grumpy mood I may have random flashes of anger, but I rarely put it on display. I have to rationalize everything before I "display" anger. :P When it comes to friends and family, I usually only get angry at people I'm the closest to. I guess in a way, it's because I -do- care about them. Someone/something not worth my time isn't worth getting angry at.

    Although things like animal abuse and the such pisses me off all the time. I think all those jackasses on shows like Animal Cops Houston need to get their butts whooped. Oh, and as a few other people mentioned... don't mess with people I'm protective over. I will *Bleep* their *Bleep* up. *Bleep*.

  4. #24
    Rainy Day Woman MDP2525's Avatar
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    [QUOTE=phoenity;728710]I guess her ego didn't like the fact that she brought up the situation three times in an attempt to get an emotional response out of you, but you remained calm and rational. I would have handled myself the same way because that's the only reasonable thing to do, but perhaps she perceived this attitude as you not caring. But then some egos feed off negativity.

    I'm sure this has something to do with it. However, It couldn't be further from the truth. If I apologized then I felt sorry. I have to admit that this "testing" has caused me to lose my temper in the past. I think my feelings are apparent through my actions and when they are consistently questioned or doubted - this makes me angry.

    Where's the NT's...what makes you angry thread?!
    ~luck favors the ready~


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  5. #25
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    1. if i sense that you are judging me before you know me on a personal level. seriously you can forget about ever being friends with me if you do this.

    2. imposing yourself upon others without respect for personal boundaries(example: peta). regardless of whether i agree with your beliefs or not i will disregard them if you present them in this manner

    3. people who do things without considering wat effects their actions might have on others, whether willfully or not. (example: war in iraq & families/taxpayers who have to cover the bill)

    4. impolite people. everyone should have basic etiquette

  6. #26
    it's tea time! Walking Tourist's Avatar
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    Yeah, what Jeffster said... stupid drivers who don't know or don't care that pedestrians always have the right of way... people who enforce mindless rules... bossy people... arrogant people...
    I don't like being ordered around and I don't like being spoken to in a hostile, unpleasant way. If you want me to do something, ask me, don't tell me. If you're nice to me, I'll go out of my way to accommodate you because I really want to make you happy. But if you're mean, you can just take a long walk off a short pier.
    Whew.
    I don't hold grudges. Once I get over being mad, I'm done. That's it. I let it go and move on.
    I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle and here is my spout. Every time I steam up, I give a shout. Just tip me over and pour me out.

  7. #27
    veteran attention whore Jeffster's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MDP2525 View Post
    So is it rare for an SP to feel anger? or is it rare that an SP feels the need to do anything about said anger?
    It's not rare for me. But like I said, I get over it fast. I used to be the opposite, I let stuff fester inside me too long because I had a fear of letting anger out (a lot of that is probably due to the way my father was.) So when I was like that, I would do nothing about angry feelings until they reached a boiling point and then I would totally unload on whoever and whatever happened to be in range at the time.

    As I grew older, I learned to let myself release some of the anger quickly and then get over it, and I think I'm much healthier because of it.
    Jeffster Illustrates the Artisan Temperament <---- click here

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  8. #28
    full of love Kingfisher's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MDP2525 View Post
    So is it rare for an SP to feel anger? or is it rare that an SP feels the need to do anything about said anger?
    it is rare that i feel anger. everyday things do not anger me, it is only really important and substantial things that anger me. i never hold my anger in, but i just do not get angry about anything that isn't major.
    when i do get angry, i definitely feel the need to 'do something' about it. i get much more edgy and irritated if i can't do something with my anger, whether it is lashing out at the person i am angry with, or taking it out on my punching bag.

    how do understand what you stand for and what you won't...is this decided at the moment of action?
    no, i feel like i have very well developed ideals and values, but they are always lying dormant inside me. i do not think about them much, i do not examine my values. but when they are pushed or tested, i find that they rise to the surface very quickly and are very strong. i really feel guided by my values in a big way, but in everyday life they are not tested that much, so people are maybe not that aware of them.
    at the moment of action i am just acting, my values are already in place.

  9. #29
    PEST that STEPs on PETS stellar renegade's Avatar
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    Skipping most of this, but just about everything on the first page resonates with me. Nothing really peeves me off but people trying to control my actions, or several situations not working out all at once, and they have to be pretty big things affecting the near future. Even then I cool down after an hour or two.

    Or getting into a heated argument with my best friend, of course, especially when he implies things about my motives.

    Otherwise I feel like it'll all work out, and I don't get easily offended by what people say to me to try to stir me up. I'm usually just like, "You think you're a pretty big deal, don't you?"

    And I think arguments with people I don't know very well (which are rare, or at least I don't percieve them as arguments) are generally pretty funny.

    And, yeah, if someone is getting unjustly treated I get pretty enraged, too.

  10. #30
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    I don't get angry often or easily; but when I do, it's usually when someone starts nitpicking or bickering on what's/who's important to me. Or what should be.
    4w5.

    "We trust the local doctor, we trust the medicine.
    Our child gets a scratch, we get our child a brand new head.
    We eat what's on our plate, we drink what's in our cup...
    We like the shiny TV screen, it spits, we lap it up...
    They sing a song, we hum along.
    We sing; but we don't understand the words to the song."
    -- High As A Horse

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