[ISTP] ISTP's: intensive?

[Intricate Mystic]

Sorry - I was looking a bit too much into this what-if.

Realistically, if the attraction was mutual, something might happen. I don't know exactly what awestruckness and adoration looks like, but strong eye contact and an overall warm atmosphere during our friendly, casual interaction would make me very interested. You know, sparks we can both feel. How would I go about it? Who knows - it depends entirely on the situation.

So you are able to sense on some level that things are going well in interactions with someone you've just met. That's good to hear- I was a little worried about you.

I am not the guy who would pursue a woman that seemed to show no interest in me, like averting her eyes when I looked at her, or just ignoring me completely, thinking that if I was truly interested I would be the one doing all the work.

... and that completely goes with your being an ISTP- you guys need someone who is willing to put in some effort to get you.

But past the initial flirting, I do have a difficult time understanding how another person feels or what they want from me unless they are reasonably clear about it. The times that I have misinterpreted the way a woman felt about me, I've been let down and hurt.

Sorry that you've been let down and hurt. I can certainly understand why this would make you cautious. Were those women extroverts? I think it's sometimes easier to discern when introverts are interested in you compared with extroverts. Extroverts are so friendly to everyone in general that it can be difficult to tell if they are interested.

 

[phoenity]

Sorry that you've been let down and hurt. I can certainly understand why this would make you cautious. Were those women extroverts? I think it's sometimes easier to discern when introverts are interested in you compared with extroverts. Extroverts are so friendly to everyone in general that it can be difficult to tell if they are interested.

This was way past the initial interest stage.

I assumed our intense physical and emotional affection towards each other was something more than just play. When the relationship wasn't meeting my expectations, I asked her directly and found out that I was wrong.

 

[Intricate Mystic]

This was way past the initial interest stage.

I assumed our intense physical and emotional affection towards each other was something more than just play. When the relationship wasn't meeting my expectations, I asked her directly and found out that I was wrong.

So she got involved with you sexually, had fun hanging out with you, but wasn't emotionally invested in the relationship?

 

[alcea rosea]

I don't know how relevant this is or if other ISTPs can relate, but I'm fairly accurate at sensing when people are physically/romantically interested in each other. I find it amusing watching sparks fly between two people. It's like the Discovery Channel. However... I can be somewhat oblivious when people are interested in me. I guess I like to give people the benefit of the doubt? I'd feel silly suspecting someone was interested in me when they weren't. Not sure why. For future reference: If you're interested in an ISTP, just flat out tell them. I hate trying to guess stuff like that.

Intersting. Do you think it's because you're interesting in these kind of things or is it kind of natural to you?

That reminded me of my husband, the ISTP, who can see how trustworthy people are from the start. He has ability to see through people who try to fool other people. He doesn't believe in giving a chance to everybody as I do. He sees people as they are and he sees if a person can be trusted. Thus, he is not a easty target to be fooled. I don't know if that is very common for other ISTP's or is it just him.

 

[phoenity]

So she got involved with you sexually, had fun hanging out with you, but wasn't emotionally invested in the relationship?

Correct.

We started out as close friends, and took it further because it felt so good being together.

Months into it I could feel the emotional attachment growing in myself, and I thought the same was going on with her. For awhile I stuck with it to see where it would lead, but eventually I had to know before I invested anymore of myself, made myself any more vulnerable than I already was, so I asked her directly. She said she figured that since I was a guy I wouldn't get attached to her. So I said goodbye since I saw no point to continue what we were doing.

Going by her actions and words and affection when we were spending time together, I never would have guessed otherwise. But we were both quite young, about 19 I think, and I don't think I'm that naive anymore.

It was enjoyable while it lasted and it let me figure out early what I don't want.

 

[phoenity]

Intersting. Do you think it's because you're interesting in these kind of things or is it kind of natural to you?

That reminded me of my husband, the ISTP, who can see how trustworthy people are from the start. He has ability to see through people who try to fool other people. He doesn't believe in giving a chance to everybody as I do. He sees people as they are and he sees if a person can be trusted. Thus, he is not a easty target to be fooled. I don't know if that is very common for other ISTP's or is it just him.

I give everybody the benefit of the doubt. But if I'm going to make myself vulnerable to another, I start asking reasonable questions and observing, just as reassurance to myself. The more doubt I have, the more questions I ask, and the more holes I find in their story or personality, the less I trust them.

 

[StephMC]

Intersting. Do you think it's because you're interesting in these kind of things or is it kind of natural to you?

That reminded me of my husband, the ISTP, who can see how trustworthy people are from the start. He has ability to see through people who try to fool other people. He doesn't believe in giving a chance to everybody as I do. He sees people as they are and he sees if a person can be trusted. Thus, he is not a easty target to be fooled. I don't know if that is very common for other ISTP's or is it just him.

I think it's both... I do feel it comes natural to me, but I'm very interested all at the same time. Observing people and situations is just more data I can add to my ever growing people database . But yeah... I can relate to your husband. I do try to give people a chance though. I'm not opposed to being proven wrong (although it took a while to get there ). My ENFP sister and ESFJ mother both try to bring me around when they have new guys in their life. My sister calls it the "ISTP sister screening." I think guys she dates gets very confused when they're going for an ENFP girl and she brings her VERY different ISTP sister around (I think they suspect I'd be like her and since they already know her, they think they know how to gain my favor)... because 9 times out of 10 they all of a sudden act like idiots to try to get my approval. And I'm just sitting and watching quietly (I might be exuding a "Don't-you-dare-think-you-can-take-advantage-of-my-sister-while-I'm-around" aura ...). I guess that could be an example of when people get intimidated by me? In the instances these guys act like complete idiots, I'm not really willing to give them a second chance though... My sister has a tendency to give everyone chances (She's pretty set on settling down now.. or has been since 18 I think. She's 27 now), and I guess I try to balance it out by helping her rule out people more. Why waste your time on morons when there's someone better for you, eh?

As for my mom, I just play the "guess that personality type" game for her, and tell her if I think he's trustworthy, dependable, good for her, etc. ISTPs are just good observers... I think other personalities are just as capable at this, but possibly in different ways?

 

[Domino]

She said she figured that since I was a guy I wouldn't get attached to her.

NICE.

 

[Intricate Mystic]

Correct.

We started out as close friends, and took it further because it felt so good being together.

Months into it I could feel the emotional attachment growing in myself, and I thought the same was going on with her. For awhile I stuck with it to see where it would lead, but eventually I had to know before I invested anymore of myself, made myself any more vulnerable than I already was, so I asked her directly. She said she figured that since I was a guy I wouldn't get attached to her. So I said goodbye since I saw no point to continue what we were doing.

Going by her actions and words and affection when we were spending time together, I never would have guessed otherwise. But we were both quite young, about 19 I think, and I don't think I'm that naive anymore.

It was enjoyable while it lasted and it let me figure out early what I don't want.

Wow. It's hard for me to wrap my mind around a woman being affectionate and seemingly engaged in a relationship yet not engaged on an emotional level. It's kind of chilling... almost sociopathic.

 

[Domino]

Wow. It's hard for me to wrap my mind around a woman being affectionate and seemingly engaged in a relationship yet not engaged on an emotional level. It's kind of chilling... almost sociopathic.

Seriously. Or extremely childish. You can be a hideous narcissist or big child without tripping the "socio" meter.

I can't be bothered with a relationship if I'm not in it to win it.

 

[StephMC]

I give everybody the benefit of the doubt. But if I'm going to make myself vulnerable to another, I start asking reasonable questions and observing, just as reassurance to myself. The more doubt I have, the more questions I ask, and the more holes I find in their story or personality, the less I trust them.

+ 1,000,000. I just had a whole bunch of "aha!" moments when I read that. That explains so much of why I distrust and/or dislike certain people, I've just never been able to put it into words. Inconsistencies in behavior makes me extremely suspicious.

 

[Nonsensical]

When I glanced over this I thought it read: "ISTPs: Too Sensative?

LOL.

ISTPs really are intensive, I like it.

 

[Bamboo]

I've been reading this thread on and off, and for the most part my reaction is "what the hell are these people babbling on about anyway?" but I'll add this chunk of semi-organized whatsit.

Notes on impressions...with semi related content along the way.

I bought a used car a while back and chose to buy a particular one based off a 1) a cursory inspection and 2) looking at the guy I was buying it from and asking myself if he was trustworthy.
He was a dealer from out of state who showed me the car in an apartment parking lot (not a dealership) and had me pick up the car later by removing the tags and throwing them over his fence. The paperwork was out of state and seemed odd. Needless to say, this seemed sketchy.

But he seemed honest, so I risked a large sum of money on my impression that he was honest. Worked out just fine.




I needed some bolts for my new muffler so after work I dropped into a hardware store I had never been to (today). The guy helps me pick out bolts and rings me up for 15 bucks. (Merchandise price not labeled.) That strikes me as high, and even though the guy seems honest, I can't help but think, is he screwing with me?



I know I can get them cheaper at my regular store so I head over there. I'm at checkout and there is a girl working at an adjacent register. She makes eye contact and smiles. I return and pay attention to the credit card machine. She then turns, faces me, and continues to make eye contact and gives me this smile. I say nothing, look back, smile etc. and then get on with my business and head out. Normally I'm not good with understanding flirting that consists of distracting chatter, but reading body language in isolation generally makes sense to me.

My muffler installed just fine (car runs better even), but I think I need some tools...or parts...or something....uh...



Anyway, moral of the story, most of the time I read people and trust what I see.

I'm willing to take risks based off of my impressions/"reads".

Sometimes I can't help but think things that I know don't make sense or are not true.

Also, I generally find those gaps in conversations where people STFU and are just doing whatever to be more revealing about how they relate to you/how they feel than most of the content of conversation (case dependent).

Now you know.

 

[Intricate Mystic]

I've been reading this thread on and off, and for the most part my reaction is "what the hell are these people babbling on about anyway?" but I'll add this chunk of semi-organized whatsit.

Could you please enlighten me as to which definition of the word "babbling" you are using in the above quote?

Babbling

Pronunciation:
\ˈba-bəl\
Function:
verb

intransitive verb 1 a: to talk enthusiastically or excessively b: to utter meaningless or unintelligible sounds 2: to make sounds as though babbling

transitive verb1: to utter in an incoherently or meaninglessly repetitious manner 2: to reveal by talk that is too free

 

[alcea rosea]

I think it's both... I do feel it comes natural to me, but I'm very interested all at the same time. Observing people and situations is just more data I can add to my ever growing people database . But yeah... I can relate to your husband. I do try to give people a chance though. I'm not opposed to being proven wrong (although it took a while to get there ). My ENFP sister and ESFJ mother both try to bring me around when they have new guys in their life. My sister calls it the "ISTP sister screening." I think guys she dates gets very confused when they're going for an ENFP girl and she brings her VERY different ISTP sister around (I think they suspect I'd be like her and since they already know her, they think they know how to gain my favor)... because 9 times out of 10 they all of a sudden act like idiots to try to get my approval. And I'm just sitting and watching quietly (I might be exuding a "Don't-you-dare-think-you-can-take-advantage-of-my-sister-while-I'm-around" aura ...). I guess that could be an example of when people get intimidated by me? In the instances these guys act like complete idiots, I'm not really willing to give them a second chance though... My sister has a tendency to give everyone chances (She's pretty set on settling down now.. or has been since 18 I think. She's 27 now), and I guess I try to balance it out by helping her rule out people more. Why waste your time on morons when there's someone better for you, eh?

Ok, I do think its the data collecting activity that ISTP's do with people when concentrating on them, and it's very realistic. My data collection is more like what that person could be not what s/he actually is. With ISTP's, I think, it's more seeing what they really are.

My husband is (by the way) not interested with romantic relationships of other people, I think.

Hehe, that "Don't-dare..." thing souds familiar. It's pretty interesting that a person can have such a strong impact on people just being quiet. I mean, wtf, I cannot do it (I don't know how to be quiet nor impress anybody quietly, lol). It's also part of than intesity that I sense in ISTP's. Strong presence without saying a word without being in the center of attention. But I've noticed that ISTP's can also be on the background if they want without being noticed but they can also be on the background and really be noticed. I don't understand it but it's facinating feature.

 

[hommefatal]

ISTPs don't blink. Their eyes are lubricated by consciously allowing Awesome to seep through their membranes.

That's a fact.

Why am I not surprised an ENFJ wrote this?

 

[Bamboo]

Could you please enlighten me as to which definition of the word "babbling" you are using in the above quote?

Babbling

Pronunciation:
\ˈba-bəl\
Function:
verb

intransitive verb 1 a: to talk enthusiastically or excessively b: to utter meaningless or unintelligible sounds 2: to make sounds as though babbling

transitive verb1: to utter in an incoherently or meaninglessly repetitious manner 2: to reveal by talk that is too free

all of them

not that i really added anything that doesn't fit into the above definitions...but i think i touched on a variety of points other people made.

you certainly ask a lot of questions

 

[Unique]

I'd have to agree with this... Sometimes (with people I know well) I -suspect- how they might feel, but it's hit or miss... so I usually wait till I either get more clues or they just flat out tell me.

I don't know how relevant this is or if other ISTPs can relate, but I'm fairly accurate at sensing when people are physically/romantically interested in each other. I find it amusing watching sparks fly between two people. It's like the Discovery Channel. However... I can be somewhat oblivious when people are interested in me. I guess I like to give people the benefit of the doubt? I'd feel silly suspecting someone was interested in me when they weren't. Not sure why. For future reference: If you're interested in an ISTP, just flat out tell them. I hate trying to guess stuff like that.

Yeah I defiantly relate, a lot of people might even think I'm asexual because of doing this

I never really know when people are interested in me unless they do something really obvious like tell me

 

[Intricate Mystic]

you certainly ask a lot of questions

I was mad that you referred to the comments in this thread as babbling. It hurt my feelings. I should have just said that in the first place, though, since you guys seem to like people being direct. *sigh*

 

[Domino]

Now now, let's all take a deep breath and unwind/wind up with some naked Twister.