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  1. #11
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    Well, as I've gotten older I've noticed more that it pisses people off more than it hurts them. Because of this I just avoid making future plans all together. I think this is the reason why I tend to do things alone because the whole plan thing never really works out well for me. I have a really difficult time doing something I do not want to do because I have obligated myself. And believe me, I think you would rather me just cancel because I am very unpleasant in those types of situations. Now, if this is someone that I am romantically involved with...hold the phone because this is a different scenario! I want to be with you all the time lol.

    It also depends on what your asking me to do. If you want me to pick up your kids from daycare, take you to the airport, meet you at the emergency room, help you move, if you're stranded at 3am 3 hours away...things where you really need my help, I will be there 100%. But it if it's stuff like going to the park, shopping, movie dates-if I don't feel like it at the time we are set to go I may not because in my mind you don't need me if that makes any sense.

    With other types it doesn't matter if it's a chicken dinner at Applebee's or watching you graduate Summa Cum Laude from Harvard University...a cancellation is a big deal! I can get a good sense of who's who, and the people who get really up in arms over the whole cancelling thing I don't make any plans with. I'll call them up on a whim and ask them if they want to get together. On the other hand, if you are the type that doesn't get crazy about it I will usually follow through with set plans because you're not holding me to anything-I feel at ease.

    I know with myself (I don't know about other ISFP's) I don't want to hear about my flightiness because I already know and making me relive it is going to make me defensive. Your best bet is to either let me know it is hurting your feelings (because I don't like people being hurt). I will then either do a better job at keeping my word or do a better job at being honest and saying no (which is another problem I tend to have).

    I hope that makes things clearer (probably not lol)!

  2. #12
    Aspiring Troens Ridder KLessard's Avatar
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    It has hurt me many times, not only pissed me off, because I'm an idealist and people mean a lot to me. In my case, my word binds me. If I give my word and I'm tired or feel like doing something else, I keep my word, it's sacred. Being whimsical is a crime to me I suppose, because it shows that your fun is more important to you than the people you love.

    Being dependable is highly important to me because if you're not, people won't trust you in the future. I realize that my feelings have grown quite cold with isfps who have disappointed me because I never know if I can trust them or if they'll let me down again.

    In the experience I've had, I had written a novel and one of the main characters was inspired from an isfp. I told her about it and she expressed the wish to read it when I would finish it. She speaks English and I write in French, so I translated it all in English so she could read it. I gave her a copy of it and she was terribly enthusiastic about it. She said she would read it, lend it to other people to read, give it to some teacher who knew publishers, the whole thing. She also said she would write to me about it when she would be done reading it. We had a great conversation that night.

    Two years passed and I never heard from her again. I was very hurt because I admired and respected her very much, and I was getting seriously bitter and depressed about it. I wrote to her and she said "I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were waiting for a letter." I don't think she even read the whole thing.

  3. #13
    veteran attention whore Jeffster's Avatar
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    That's why I make very few promises. But the ones I make, I make very precisely and I keep them.
    Jeffster Illustrates the Artisan Temperament <---- click here

    "I like the sigs with quotes in them from other forum members." -- Oberon

    The SP Spazz Youtube Channel

  4. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by KLessard View Post
    I'm happy to read that "the inability to commit to things" is a part of your character and not something you do on purpose, because I've had to deal with this a few times with an ISFP that meant much to me. She would say, "I'll keep in touch", or "I'll do this," and she wouldn't and I felt like she had been a phony all along and saw in it a serious lack of respect. I've come to realize she meant well but would forget and not keep her word in the end.

    Are you aware that this hurts people?
    Agree. I had a similar experience with an ISFP. It's very annoying because we would have a verbal agreement that we'll do something on a certain weekend, so after that, I would turn away other plans on that day that may be more enjoyable. The ISFP would cancel and do something else, not notify me. Furthermore, the ISFP would then try to spin it in so that it sounds like he's doing me a favor or simply say we didn't commit to a plan in the first place. grr..

  5. #15
    veteran attention whore Jeffster's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ozz View Post
    Agree. I had a similar experience with an ISFP. It's very annoying because we would have a verbal agreement that we'll do something on a certain weekend, so after that, I would turn away other plans on that day that may be more enjoyable. The ISFP would cancel and do something else, not notify me. Furthermore, the ISFP would then try to spin it in so that it sounds like he's doing me a favor or simply say we didn't commit to a plan in the first place. grr..
    uhhh..yeah..I have done that on a few occasions...man, sometimes you guys are too good at reminding me that I suck.
    Jeffster Illustrates the Artisan Temperament <---- click here

    "I like the sigs with quotes in them from other forum members." -- Oberon

    The SP Spazz Youtube Channel

  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeffster View Post
    uhhh..yeah..I have done that on a few occasions...man, sometimes you guys are too good at reminding me that I suck.
    Just our of curiosity, how does an ISFP feel when someone doesn't honor their promise? This is not meant to make you feel bad.

  7. #17
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    ?

    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  8. #18

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    Quote Originally Posted by ClarifiedMind View Post
    I have been lurking for a while and I am curious to know what you guys think. I want to explain what I did today and tell me if this is typical for my type...I'm just really curious!

    -I sleep until there is a reason to get up. If there is none I get up when I'm rested. And I HAVE to lounge in the bed for at least 10-15 minutes whether I have somewhere to go or not. Therefore, I am always late.
    -My daughter and I had Klondike Bars for breakfast this morning.
    -I feel horrible when I have to yell at my kids so I usually don't.
    -I get annoyed when my ISTJ husband starts his cleaning, organizing and constant movement when I'm relaxing...it messes with my chill. I usually get up and leave the room.
    -I cried my eyes out today because I watched a movie about a man who was wrongly convicted of rape-I just couldn't imagine that happening to my son and how unjust the law can be. I was really crushed!
    -Watched a sun shower and wondered if there was going to be a rainbow.
    -When I'm out at night and when I see homes with just a dim TV light glowing -I imagine them being nice and cozy in their beds...it makes me feel fuzzy.
    -I like sleeping with my kids because they're cuddly.
    -I never, ever make plans because my mind changes like the wind. If I'm not going to be leaving in the next 15 minutes I don't both committing myself. I also have no qualms with saying, "I changed my mind" or, "I don't feel like it" I feel obligated to nothing.

    I remind myself of a cat. Am I a true blue ISFP?
    1. HECK YES.
    2. YES.
    3. YES.
    4. HECK YES.
    5. YES.
    6. Yes, perfectly acceptable, however I feel that's more INFP.
    7. Yes.
    8. YES.
    9. GOD YES!

    You are such an ISFP! The key thing here is that almost everything you mention here are SENSATIONS and are centered around your own feelings and comfort, which are at the forefront of the lives of many an ISFP.
    Hello. There'll be something here soon.

  9. #19

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ozz View Post
    Just our of curiosity, how does an ISFP feel when someone doesn't honor their promise? This is not meant to make you feel bad.
    No matter how pathetic the promise was, I couldn't help feeling betrayed, whoever it was.
    Hello. There'll be something here soon.

  10. #20
    Dali
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ozz View Post
    Just our of curiosity, how does an ISFP feel when someone doesn't honor their promise? This is not meant to make you feel bad.
    I may feel anything from indifferent to betrayed. All boils down to the context.

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