[ISFP] Why do ISFP tend to underestimate themselves and their impact?

[Walking Tourist]

DUDE!
You are not alone. Yes, the places that you mention are nightmares for me, too. I actually went to every free hearing test that was offered because I thought that I was going deaf. But the hearing tests are given in quiet environments and my hearing is actually better than normal.
When I'm trying to concentrate, I listen to music. I can't concentrate if someone is singing. I need instrumental music for that.
I don't know if it's just an ISFP thing but I kind of suspect that other types may experience this, too.

DUDE, you mean I am not the only one with this problem??? Restaurants, pubs, bars, and clubs are absolute NIGHTMARES for me because I literally cannot hear what other people are saying. I feel like, dude, am I going deaf? But this does not happen without background noise.

I also hate it when I'm trying to sleep or concentrate and there is noise everywhere. GAHHH! So I have ear plugs and/or buds to listen to music that I know and it is predictable. Or a movie I've watched fifty million times and know by heart. Then I can concentrate.

:-/ Is this just an ISFP thing, or do other types have it, too?

 

[Ulaes]

Do you have any theory on why ISFP tend to underestimate themselves and their impact?

cuz its cute when they do.

nah, no real theory. i could pull somehting out of my ass but i think the forum would be a more intelligent place if i didnt.

 

[Quinlan]

nah, no real theory. i could pull somehting out of my ass but i think the forum would be a more intelligent place if i didnt.

That never stopped me.

 

[Udog]

In my experience, it's that tricky Fi. The ISFP's internal thoughts and feelings overwhelm their ability to view their work objectively. Their perception of their work is more important than the actual quality of their work.

So ISFPs often need people to show them appreciation to help get them out of their overly-perfectionist heads. Here's the catch, though: While the ISFP needs that validation, they rarely do things for validation and praise. They do it for themselves, as a gesture to show their caring. So they quietly kick ass in pretty much everything they do, and people fail to notice because the ISFP doesn't demand they notice.

ISFPs seem to need people to praise them without being asked, and there are alot of people in the world that aren't up for that.

 

[Jeffster]

In my experience, it's that tricky Fi. The ISFP's internal thoughts and feelings overwhelm their ability to view their work objectively. Their perception of their work is more important than the actual quality of their work.

So ISFPs often need people to show them appreciation to help get them out of their overly-perfectionist heads. Here's the catch, though: While the ISFP needs that validation, they rarely do things for validation and praise. They do it for themselves, as a gesture to show their caring. So they quietly kick ass in pretty much everything they do, and people fail to notice because the ISFP doesn't demand they notice.

ISFPs seem to need people to praise them without being asked, and there are alot of people in the world that aren't up for that.

Forget all those other type websites, just read what Udog says! He's right on the money, and put it better than I ever could!

 

[wolfy]

I think it has to do with skills, feedback and impressing other people. Y’all thrive on positive feedback and also try to maximise using natural skills and abilities, when those two are combined an ISFP is in their element, when they don't get feedback, or struggle with accomplishing something I think they get really hard on themselves, although that part often isn't verbalised. There is quite a bit of self doubt in any area that isn't mastered and recognised.

I like recognition. It’s very important to get complimented soon after an accomplishment. If something goes unnoticed or unrewarded, it doesn’t have the immediate impact that I want. I’ve been learning my own positive self-talk. I tend to be a workaholic at whatever it is I am doing. You might say I’m a perfectionist. I want people to be impressed with my performance. I don’t want anyone to be unhappy with my performance so I continue to perform, and that is kind of a driving force. It has been a constant struggle to not overdo it. I need a positive environment to work in and I need the people I’m working with to support me.

In my experience, it's that tricky Fi. The ISFP's internal thoughts and feelings overwhelm their ability to view their work objectively. Their perception of their work is more important than the actual quality of their work.

So ISFPs often need people to show them appreciation to help get them out of their overly-perfectionist heads. Here's the catch, though: While the ISFP needs that validation, they rarely do things for validation and praise. They do it for themselves, as a gesture to show their caring. So they quietly kick ass in pretty much everything they do, and people fail to notice because the ISFP doesn't demand they notice.

ISFPs seem to need people to praise them without being asked, and there are alot of people in the world that aren't up for that.

Thanks, right on the money. Now that I know why it happens, I need a convenient work-around to insure it never happens again.

 

[Kasper]

Think the keys are in positive self talk, surrounding yourself with people that you get good energy from and appreciate what it really means when you do something for them and say it's no big deal and also recognising when lack of feedback is affecting you and causing doubt. Mostly self talk though.

Forget all those other type websites, just read what Udog says! He's right on the money, and put it better than I ever could!

Indeed! Very well said Udog.

 

[wolfy]

Think the keys are in positive self talk, surrounding yourself with people that you get good energy from and appreciate what it really means when you do something for them and say it's no big deal and also recognising when lack of feedback is affecting you and causing doubt. Mostly self talk though.

I can see how positive self talk would help. I wonder what self talk in this area would look like?
I wonder why other types don't need the same level of feedback?
I wonder what an ISTP or any other type says to themselves that lessens the need for feedback?
?

I really dislike that side of me and I've been trying to drive it out of me for as long as I can remember. I've mostly got rid of it but it still rears it's ugly head from time to time.

 

[INA]

While the ISFP needs that validation, they rarely do things for validation and praise. They do it for themselves, as a gesture to show their caring. So they quietly kick ass in pretty much everything they do, and people fail to notice because the ISFP doesn't demand they notice.

QFT. This is part of what makes them adorable. But watch them light up when you give them their due.

 

[Kingfisher]

I wonder why other types don't need the same level of feedback?
I wonder what an ISTP or any other type says to themselves that lessens the need for feedback?

i have the opposite problem that you describe in your original post. i don't feel that feedback from other people is important to me, even if it is from someone i respect. for me feedback from others is not relevant, because i feel that it is coming from someone who does not fully understand me, my process, and my situation. so i look to myself for validation, and if it is not there it won't help to get it from someone else.

I really dislike that side of me and I've been trying to drive it out of me for as long as I can remember. I've mostly got rid of it but it still rears it's ugly head from time to time.

i am not so sure it is necessary to get rid of it completely.
i think that looking for validation from other people puts you more in touch with other people, and makes you more aware of how your actions will affect people around you. i think it creates a connection between two people that is lost when you are only looking to yourself for validation.

 

[Udog]

Think the keys are in positive self talk, surrounding yourself with people that you get good energy from and appreciate what it really means when you do something for them and say it's no big deal and also recognising when lack of feedback is affecting you and causing doubt. Mostly self talk though.

This is very true. If you have poisonous, negative people in your life, it can be hard to remember that not everyone is like them.

I can see how positive self talk would help. I wonder what self talk in this area would look like?

First lesson: You deserve to treat yourself with the same love and respect you show others. Grant yourself the same leniency for human-error you give them.

Second lesson: You are hard wired to be finely in tune with your capabilities. It's a blessing and a curse. Try to use that ability to build yourself up and become stronger, instead of tearing yourself apart.

Your gift gives you two ways to self-assess, and in the absence of external assessment it will be all that you have. You can view your actions from "If I had done this perfectly" or from "If I had done nothing at all."

X = Internal assessment of yourself and actions.
Nothing ----------------- X ---- Perfection

When it comes to confidence, focus on the gap between if you did nothing and where you see yourself. Once that's done, THEN you can focus on the gap between yourself and your perfect ideal.

I wonder why other types don't need the same level of feedback?

Who says they don't? Some types surely need less feedback than the ISFP, but there are others that need far more. It just expresses itself differently.

I really dislike that side of me and I've been trying to drive it out of me for as long as I can remember. I've mostly got rid of it but it still rears it's ugly head from time to time.

Well, would you be the person that you are without it? Do you think you'd have the same positive impact on the world if you didn't analyze yourself the way you did?

For better and for worse, it's part of who you are. Instead of denying that aspect of your nature, learn to control it instead of having it control you.

 

["?"]

If anyone has Joe Butts' "Elements of Type and Shadow" it gives a good scenario of why dominant Fi types in general have this sort of behavior.

 

[bananafish]

Hm. I guess for me I didn't think what I did would actually really matter... since life is meaningless IMO. I mean, I wasn't treated as if I was stupid in school... it was more like I gave off this aura that was read as "Get the eff away" or, "Grrr". Or I seemed really shy and incapable since I never really talked unless someone asked a question. I didn't seem all that friendly, I suppose... even though inside I really wanted to help people and all that mushy stuff. I was literally bursting with kindness. Lol.

I can relate to Walking Tourist though, I remember feeling as if people thought I was just dumb or something since I was always given easy tasks/classes... I remember this one time I requested to take Advancd English instead of regular; and my counseler seemed pretty doubtful of me by her tone of voice... Meh. I got a A in the end, so screw her. Lol. :/

 

[Walking Tourist]

You would think that the counselor would be thrilled to have a student who wants a challenge and so, would be more encouraging.
Unfortunately, that is not always the case.

I can relate to Walking Tourist though, I remember feeling as if people thought I was just dumb or something since I was always given easy tasks/classes... I remember this one time I requested to take Advancd English instead of regular; and my counseler seemed pretty doubtful of me by her tone of voice... Meh. I got a A in the end, so screw her. Lol. :/

 

[wolfy]

I think like Udog and Kingfisher said, it's not something to get rid of completely. I think some kind of balance is best. Reflecting on it I think in pushing that side down I lose some of my motivation.

So there needs to be a balance. Balance between the need to have impact on others, of which feedback is an integral part and the need to be independent of all that.

 

[Julie1962]

I am capable of learning and understanding. I am not capable of verbally expressing what I've learned or how I feel about something adequately. For that reason, I feel stupid and keep my mouth shut as often as possible. Returning to college at midlife has not been easy. I have so many experiences and a unique perspective to share and have found that I am fully able to do this in writing but I still do not participate in class discussions. I'm as embarressed in my 40s as I was in my 20s with my inability to communicate verbally.

 

[wolfy]

I am capable of learning and understanding. I am not capable of verbally expressing what I've learned or how I feel about something adequately. For that reason, I feel stupid and keep my mouth shut as often as possible. Returning to college at midlife has not been easy. I have so many experiences and a unique perspective to share and have found that I am fully able to do this in writing but I still do not participate in class discussions. I'm as embarressed in my 40s as I was in my 20s with my inability to communicate verbally.

I get what you mean...For me personally, I can feel a need to rush. And that can stop me from communicating verbally. Unless I'm really confident in the area.

 

[Quinlan]

I am capable of learning and understanding. I am not capable of verbally expressing what I've learned or how I feel about something adequately. For that reason, I feel stupid and keep my mouth shut as often as possible. Returning to college at midlife has not been easy. I have so many experiences and a unique perspective to share and have found that I am fully able to do this in writing but I still do not participate in class discussions. I'm as embarressed in my 40s as I was in my 20s with my inability to communicate verbally.

I totally relate to that, especially at university where I would get great marks for essays where I could gather my thoughts but would be a bumbling fool if asked about the same topic in class.