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  1. #21
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    I can understand where you are coming from but spreadsheets? Surely any perceiving type will laugh at you and say "I have a memory you know".

    It's like telling a perceiver to have a diary/planner

    I agree with the princible but you would be going about it all wrong, adhere to his strengths not his weeknesses

  2. #22
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    Perhaps you can help him by helping him discover his passion and help him build a career of it? In addition, I would set some very firm guidelines and basically say 'you have two choices, you can either enrol in college full-time or you can live at home for 6 months while you save some money for first and last month's rent on a place of your own. We love you and support you but you are an adult now, this home was where we raised you but since you are done being raised - the time has come for you to leave the nest.'

    Hopefully he will choose to go to school. Even though I'm SP I firmly believe that getting a good education is key these days to living the life you want. Personally I need the security of a steady income to allow me to 'play.' So many SPs I know have low-end jobs with no security and are forever job hopping and don't actually end up getting to do what they want - which are often expensive hobbies.

  3. #23
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unique View Post
    I can understand where you are coming from but spreadsheets? Surely any perceiving type will laugh at you and say "I have a memory you know".
    All I meant was to compile all the bills into a spreadsheet and show him that, instead of going over each bill individually. It was actually meant to save his time by getting straight to the bottom line.

  4. #24

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    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    My son is 20 and ESFP (E to the maximum). Intelligent, and has no plans or direction for his life yet. Has spent the last year working part-time and playing video games. Is procrastinating about even getting his driver's licence. (I'm basically going to have to set a deadline now, saying that I won't drive him anywhere save for emergencies. We paid for driving lessons but he hasn't got around to taking the test.)

    He's not motivated by material gain, how people view him or social status (which is cool.) Likes to have fun (basically.) But at some point he needs to go to school and do ... something with his life. Is there anything that I can do to help facilitate his decision-making? Ummm, I ask this even though nothing I have ever tried historically (all through high school, positive or negative) made much difference.

    SP's, would appreciate your advice here. What did you need from your Mom & Dad to help you focus on planning? I often think I in particular facilitate his procrastination by being too "nice" and helpful.
    You just described my ESFP ex-fiance word for word. I never figured out what motivated him, nor did his parents.

    His ESTP father just left him to his own devices thinking he'd sort things out on his own as he had. His SJ mother brought the hammer down again and again only to alienate him entirely. I cannot suggest an approach, but I can discourage those two approaches.
    "The purpose of life is to be defeated by greater and greater things." - Rainer Maria Rilke

  5. #25
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by iwakar View Post
    His ESTP father just left him to his own devices thinking he'd sort things out on his own as he had. His SJ mother brought the hammer down again and again only to alienate him entirely. I cannot suggest an approach, but I can discourage those two approaches.
    Even though the types of my friend's parents were different, this is exactly how it played out with my friend's brother. ESFP mom tried to let him do his own thing, until xNTJ father finally started having enough when he was 26 and no closer to moving out. After 2 years of almost daily arguments, the son finally moved out at 28, with the relationship severely damaged.

    My advice might be full of it, but surely it's better than those two approaches.

    Oh, and the parents had plenty of empty threats in the process. Empty threats are a third technique I would discourage. Either don't do anything, or follow through.

  6. #26
    Senior Member defragmybrain's Avatar
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    Finding out what inspires him is realy the key i think.
    There isn't any thing better than figuring out how you can relate to him. ESFP's love being pumped up about what THEY are interested in. Once you find that up beat energy, suggest ways to utilize them in the real world, but don't enforce them.
    - From your fun-loving ESFP.
    Se/Fi/Te/Ni, 44% E / 88% S / 62% F / 67% P

    http://badges.mypersonality.info/badge/0/18/182571.png

  7. #27
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    Agreed, the key is getting an ESFP excited about something

  8. #28
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    tough love...i think having that talk with him where you tell him how disappointing you are in him might get the ball rolling

  9. #29
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unique View Post
    Agreed, the key is getting an ESFP excited about something
    How do you get an ESFP excited about something if they are already pretty happy with their life?

  10. #30

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    We must trickz them my precioussss!
    "The purpose of life is to be defeated by greater and greater things." - Rainer Maria Rilke

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