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  1. #1
    Senior Member Azseroffs's Avatar
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    Default ISFP/INTP Relationship

    In response to the ISTP/INFP thread

    I find ISFP quite refreshing. They are very nice and I have a lot of fun around them typically. The only problem I seem to have is that I feel like they can't keep up mentally. They usually don't seem to understand what I'm talking about. They make an effort and try to understand but are often unable to contribute. In order to really communicate I find myself making a lot of sarcastic jokes, and they just seem to laugh and smile at almost everything I say. I often feel like I'm not really getting through to them, but they still seem to enjoy my presence.

    Often times when they are talking about something I have little to say as well. Usually they'll talk about something they did in which cases i often find it funny. Almost like they purposefully put themselves into predicaments that could have easily been avoided. They seem to be aware of this though.

    Overall I enjoy the company of ISFPs. I feel comfortable in their presence, but often feel like we speak different languages since we have little to say about what the other speaks of. Funny thing is that we always have something to say regardless of this enigma. Kinda like we are both talking at each other rather than to each other.
    ENTJ LIE
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  2. #2
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    I have the same problem connecting to my NT friends. I still enjoy our discussions however one-sided they are most of the time.

    I enjoy hearing them talk about things they think about, like when they share their thoughts about the universe. I can usually always get a basic understanding of the subject, and sometimes when they explain it well (because I ask questions) I can get a very deep understanding which brings my mind temporarily into their world. It's very stimulating but kind of scary at the same time, because my mind is focused on the end of the universe, when it's usually focused directly in front of my eyes. It takes me a second to get back to reality.

    Then when I share stories of my adventures here on Earth, of real things I do, they aren't able to relate so they just listen. Though I'm not sure how they view me or what they get out of hearing my stories of the things I do, but I suppose there's a reason they keep me around.

  3. #3
    it's tea time! Walking Tourist's Avatar
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    I like your avatar.
    I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle and here is my spout. Every time I steam up, I give a shout. Just tip me over and pour me out.

  4. #4
    Senior Member riel's Avatar
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    I think it's because of the NT-SF thing.
    I'm a Phlegmatic-Melancholy.

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    INTP's have incredibly powerful minds. They can literally overcome our sense of time and space, turning us into golems for periods.

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    Not to mention sometimes all my senses sometimes will shut off and I will enter a state of logical oblivion.

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    Senior Member Popsicle's Avatar
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    Try being an INTP female dating an ISFP guy (though he could be ISFJ).

    I usually get this bemused look when I make some off-the-wall remark. I often think he is not quite sure what to make of me...

  8. #8
    Habitual Fi LineStepper JocktheMotie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Popsicle View Post
    Try being an INTP female dating an ISFP guy (though he could be ISFJ).

    I usually get this bemused look when I make some off-the-wall remark. I often think he is not quite sure what to make of me...
    Haha. My estj asked me what I was thinking once. I answered. She never asked again.



  9. #9
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    I've had some INTP friends and yes being concrete myself I didn't know how to take half of what they said. Still I felt strangely comfortable in their presence.

  10. #10
    Senior Member INTPness's Avatar
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    I relate to all of this. I've been with my ISFP for several months now and we experience some of these same things that have been mentioned. I often tell her that we seem to "miss" each other when communicating - meaning that we fail to "connect" to what one another is saying or trying to communicate. It's really a strange thing. I'll say something and she'll run with it and laugh and have some sort of comeback joke that makes her laugh but I totally don't see the connection between her comeback/response and what I had originally said - yet, somehow, we're both still OK with it. I might look confused and say, "What? I don't get it." And she'll just laugh and say, "Nothing, nevermind." Then we move on to something else.

    The S/N divide is probably the most difficult part of the relationship for us. As the N (and I'm highly-N), it's a hard thing to explain without sounding pompous, I think. Phoenity mentioned earlier in the thread about focusing on what is actually "done in the real world". That's the divide that I see with my girlfriend and I. She wants to discuss things like what her co-worker said to her on her lunch break, etc. With her strong Se, she's always wanting to talk about what she took in with her senses. What someone said, how great something tastes, she's very attuned to my facial expressions, etc. I think about a time recently where we were in a rush to meet someone and she's talking about stuff like what a co-worker did today and the color of the sweater she's wearing, etc. I'm not dismissing the importance of these things. I understand (more now than I did before) that this is her sharing life with me. Sometimes from the "N" side of the spectrum, however, we might be left thinking, "Is this REALLY what you want to talk about? Maybe we could talk about something that's going to make a difference in the grand scheme of life." I really do care whether or not she had a good day, so I'm looking for things like, "I had a great day, I got lots done, and I'm ready for my big meeting tomorrow." Or, "Today wasn't the greatest. I got reprimanded for being late and we lost an important client." Big picture type stuff. Let me know how you're doing in a general sense so that I know how I can be there for you, but don't rehash your whole day word by word. That's tough for an "N". One time when we were having a long, drawn out argument about something that seemed very petty to me, I finally wanted to stop the bleeding by asking if we could talk about something else for a change. She said, "Well, this is what's important to me right now. What could be more important than this right now?" And I said something like, "There are some REALLY important things going on in the world right now. There are kids who don't have food to eat, people who are wondering where they will sleep tonight, etc, etc. And here we are talking about...................THIS???!!! Let's get over it and move on to something of importance."

    I don't say this to sound arrogant (I know that's how it comes off to some), but this is one of the best examples of the S/N divide, at least in my opinion. She thinks, at times, that I don't care about things that are important to her. It's not that. I certainly do care. Very much. I just want to focus on "the big picture", while she wants to focus on all the details that make up that big picture. The way I see it, if we're going to hash through all the details, let me run to the store and grab a soda cuz we'll probably be at it for the better part of the night. That stuff can take an awful lot of time and it gets very tedious. On the bright side, we compliment each other too. Things that I overlook, she picks up on and reminds me to take care of. When she fails to see big picture connections or consequences, I'm able to provide some advice/direction.

    She's hilarious though -makes me laugh, keeps things light, and keeps me grounded. What's cool about her is that, for the most part, as long as I make her laugh and give her a lot of , then I have a happy ISFP looking at me like this

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