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  1. #11
    Artisan Conquerer Halla74's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unique View Post

    Also ESTPs like to surprise you, they might even hide behind things and jump out... there's a big kid in every ESTP
    Absolutely 100% true! I love scaring the hell out of people like that, and have always been a prankster.

  2. #12
    :) INFtha14's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Halla74 View Post
    Wellllll I wouldn't go so far as to categorize a well intended, mature, and psychologically healthy ESTP male that's putting the effort of courting a woman that he fancies as deploying Middle School dating tactics...

    hehe true you got a very good point there.


    That's good, then his effort is not in vain, as it might well take more for his interest/intentions to sink in if you are "oblivious to your surroundings" as you stated! And I don't mean that in a bad way, my wife is INFJ, I get what you are saying. I will offer one piece of advice though. If you do want to keep this fellow interested then give his efforts a little recognition, and I'm not talking sex, I'm talking like a simple thank you, or a smile, or even a peck on the cheek, something simple to let him know that you know he's trying and you appreciate the effort, that's all. ESTPs are VERY hard to discourage, but if we do deploy our arsenal and the objective we seek at some point seems hopeless, then we disengage and move on and don't look back.

    yes...very much so oblivious lol. oh good you experience with my kind so you understand good...lol xDD.
    thing is he hasn't really gone out of his way to show he's interested like not calling or coming over. should I give him alittle sign to let him know i'm open to getting to know him?
    or go out of my way? i really don't want to seem desperate in all honesty.
    I haven't seen this person in a few years since i was 16ish and now in my very low 20's and I just wandering should i just leave it him to contact me since he asked for my cellphone? also he is right down the street lol.


    That's good, you sound like a good girl, and that's admirable. Here's a generic tip that might be of use to you. You have stated elsewhere in this thread that you wish to know his true intentions. Two simple things for you to look for at this point.

    GIVEN: He is putting time and effort into getting to know you right now, but you don't know if he wants a brief fling with you or if he is interested in a more long term romance with a deeper commitment.

    FACT 1: If he were interested in a quick fling, then the amount of time and effort he puts into getting to know you is going to be commensurate with the depth of the fling he is interested in having with you. No man will waste weeks and weeks of time and effort to setup a short term fling, unless he is a total idiot.

    FACT 2: A very good way to get to know someone's intentions is to see how they interact with people other than you in the everyday course of their lives, and to see how others interact with them. If this fellow is received well by the staff of stores/businesses he frequents, if he opens doors for people, if helps a person in need along the way of whatever you two are doing to hang out on a given day, if he is courteous to others for no reason other than to be a nice fellow, then these are good indicators that you are with a decent man, and not a sociopath.

    Sociopaths and control freaks move quickly, they try to get women to commit to alot in a short amount of time, they try to get fully integrated into their lives so they can start manipulating them. If this guy is nice, and kind, and patient with you then I can't see the harm in giving him a shot.



    hmmm very good advice and guidelines thank you . definitely going to keep those in my head for reference.
    I knew someone who I could tell was pushing just abit much "want to sleep with me" and forcing me down everytime i would say no to sit myself back up. did some disrespectful things to me like i was an object too soon lol.


    You know what? The chase is part of the fun isn't it? He knows this. If at some point you are both comfortable with each other and he does try to connect with you physically, then trust your instincts and be safe. But don't assume that once he does try to get physically roomantic with you that a wolf has jumped out of sheep's clothing. He is a man after all, and physical love is just as much a part of the package of a complete relationship as is a noble courting effort. It has to feel right and be timed right for both parties, but once that happens, its on, right?
    yeah i guess hehe.
    I have good instincts so i guess i should not worry if it would get serious and lead to more physical affection . I'd also want to be married more for a symbolic thing like he loves me enough to wait would be sufficient/ i feel also it would make it all the more special.
    oh yeah i do thing cuddling and whatnot is all good hehe


    there's some stuff in the quote box i replied too in case so you don't think i only said this outside the box.
    Thanks .
    Last edited by INFtha14; 05-02-2009 at 03:45 PM. Reason: said thing not think oh boy. ;)
    What is Feeling?
    Feeling is primarily a process.....that imparts to the content a definite value in the sense of acceptance or rejection. In the same way that thinking organizes the contents of consciousness under concepts, feeling arranges them according to their value. Feeling, like thinking, is a rational function, since values in general are assigned according to the laws of reason...
    (Carl Jung, Psychological Types, Chapter XI - Definitions)

  3. #13
    :) INFtha14's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unique View Post
    Yeah thats essentially it

    Notice I didn't actually use the word "effort" I said 80% "focus", I see coy as a way of not coming off as desperate, laid back, a bit of hard to get, 'enable' you so that you end up making the effort

    I'm not sure if all ESTPs do it but assumptions = fun

    "You love me"

    are you two together?

    "Well shes attracted to me, so you better not ask too many questions like that"

    whats that you're wearing?

    "you find it attractive huh?" or "you love it"

    I also have selective hearing and just go off on tangents... you know if you end up hearing some crazy stories then its probably just us keeping you entertained...

    I think I was walking home with my Ex once and something reminded me of a funny story that was actually originally told to me by a different ESTP but I claimed it for my own and it was hilarious

    Also ESTPs like to surprise you, they might even hide behind things and jump out... there's a big kid in every ESTP
    by focus you mean? sorry I misinterpreted what you ment.
    ahhh i noticed oops haha hmm....then maybe that's what this fellow is doing then cause he definitely is pulling the coy behavior like that when i saw him he seemed rather chilled/relaxed like hey *my name* how are ya? and so forth.

    no but I met a relative of his when i was 12 and met him through them.
    he just saw me the past couple months and he's gotten in my head I'm curious about him but i don't know what to do and if he's even interested but maybe he is with the coy act lol.

    ooh surprises hehe I do like and have tended to crush or date Se types (either dominant or auxiliary) there's a pattern it's kinda of ironic (inferior Se xD)
    What is Feeling?
    Feeling is primarily a process.....that imparts to the content a definite value in the sense of acceptance or rejection. In the same way that thinking organizes the contents of consciousness under concepts, feeling arranges them according to their value. Feeling, like thinking, is a rational function, since values in general are assigned according to the laws of reason...
    (Carl Jung, Psychological Types, Chapter XI - Definitions)

  4. #14
    :) INFtha14's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by "?" View Post
    These may help, but ESTPs will be able to most likely tell you which types they are attracted to the most. From Personality Page From LifexplorePersonally I am attracted to introverted types more than extraverted, so the whole notion that opposites attract flies out the window for me.
    "?"
    thanks for the good links about estp's going to look over them abit more.
    What is Feeling?
    Feeling is primarily a process.....that imparts to the content a definite value in the sense of acceptance or rejection. In the same way that thinking organizes the contents of consciousness under concepts, feeling arranges them according to their value. Feeling, like thinking, is a rational function, since values in general are assigned according to the laws of reason...
    (Carl Jung, Psychological Types, Chapter XI - Definitions)

  5. #15
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    Well I happen to like INFJs but that could just be me

  6. #16
    :) INFtha14's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unique View Post
    Well I happen to like INFJs but that could just be me
    What is Feeling?
    Feeling is primarily a process.....that imparts to the content a definite value in the sense of acceptance or rejection. In the same way that thinking organizes the contents of consciousness under concepts, feeling arranges them according to their value. Feeling, like thinking, is a rational function, since values in general are assigned according to the laws of reason...
    (Carl Jung, Psychological Types, Chapter XI - Definitions)

  7. #17
    Senior Member gloomy-optimist's Avatar
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    Well, ESTPs love action, and they're really playful. If he likes you, he'll let you know, a lot of times in the most interesting ways too Just make sure you let him know you're interested too; don't send any mixed messages, and you should be fine Go after him!

  8. #18
    Artisan Conquerer Halla74's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unique View Post
    Well I happen to like INFJs but that could just be me
    It's not just you, I've been with one for 15 years. ESTPs are one of two types that are prone to being in long term relationships with their "MBTI opposites." I think ENTJs are the others that do. I found this info in a study that analyzed married couples of every type combination imaginable over a significant number of years, I'll send you the link if you like (when I find it!) and I might have even posted it here too, will look...

    Things to be aware of:

    In couples where one is E and the other is I, in 50% of the cases there is no effect, positive or negative, it just works out; in the other 50% of the cases there are some issues experienced with E/I lifestyle preferences/attitudes causing some type of marital conflict.

    Couples that had 2 or more MBTI traits in commone generally reported being "happy", whereas couples with one or fewer MBTI traits in common were more prone to having reported at one time or another being "unhappy." BUT this is not a broad disclaimer that two of completely dissimilar type cannot have a happy, harmonious relationship, it just means that they have a chance for misunderstandings to occur a little more frequently than others with more in common.

    Since I have been aware of this for some time I have done alot of research into E/I, N/S, T/F, and J/P differences and it has increased my understanding of the differences between me and wifey-poo and smoothed some of the bumps in the road as they occurred. She has not bitten into MBTI so much yet but I figure she will in her own time, and if not, at least I have the knowledge and am willing to wield it for the greater good.

  9. #19
    Senior Member gloomy-optimist's Avatar
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    I'd like to see that link, if you manage to find it

  10. #20
    Artisan Conquerer Halla74's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gloomy-optimist View Post
    I'd like to see that link, if you manage to find it
    I shall do my best!

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