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  1. #31
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by b4b View Post
    well, he keeps bugging me, won't leave me alone, and I thought there is a way at getting back at him while he didn't give up completely? I'm always very nice, but I was just wondering how to change my behavior to get back at him just a little? But it seems like ESTPs don't care either way....
    Why do you want to get back at him?
    Stop being nice. Set boundaries.
    "I do not want to talk to you. Leave me alone."

    I wish I could be with people when they deal with these jerks.
    I'd tell him whats up.

    Sounds like if you're being nice but then want some way to get back at him, you are enjoying this a bit.
    Likes RedAmazoneFriendZone liked this post

  2. #32
    Artisan Conquerer Halla74's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lastrailway View Post
    Judging of the ESTPs I know, I can't think of one single thing they take seriously enough so that you can use it and get back at them.
    Seriously enough? How about attempting to compromise their dignity? I'd fucking kill someone who tried to shit me down like that. I am a creature of great principle.

  3. #33
    Senior Member me_plus_one's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by b4b View Post
    well, he keeps bugging me, won't leave me alone, and I thought there is a way at getting back at him while he didn't give up completely? I'm always very nice, but I was just wondering how to change my behavior to get back at him just a little? But it seems like ESTPs don't care either way....
    Surely he won't leave you alone. Trust me, if we want to do something, we will do it regardless of your feelings.
    Besides... hm, getting back at us is not a very good idea. The best outcome would be us hating you forever.

    However, I am too good of a person as to lower myelf to get revenge. Actively, that is. Passively, that's a whole new story.

    So beware.

    Though nobody is truly untouchable; if you find the right trigger, you might even manage to hurt him on the inside.

  4. #34
    Member b4b's Avatar
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    ok, problem solved...I'm over the whole "revenge" thing (it was a one day thing anyway, I can't stay mad for too long )
    anyway, I followed Halla74's advice (first all sweet than ignore) and it worked wonders...I got all I wanted: including 100's of apologies. He realized that I realized that he was manipulating me by using my weak spots to get me to do the things he wanted me to do (and this without me saying anything about the whole situation) he knew exactly WHY I was mad at him (I love it, he can read me like a book)...maybe this is just another manipulation, but at least he knows he can't play anymore tricks with me

    Quote Originally Posted by me_plus_one View Post
    Surely he won't leave you alone. Trust me, if we want to do something, we will do it regardless of your feelings.
    you're right, he WON'T leave me alone...i feel like he is devoting his entire time to either win me over or/and make me do the things he wants me to do, using every trick here is....

  5. #35
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    Default My ESTP ex wife is with her cheater now

    Okay guys, I recently came across this tread because I married a woman, after helping pay for some of her education, we got married, and 3 weeks into the marriage she cheated on me with som guy she met during those 3 or so weeks. It was so bad that she was snapchatting the guy between us having rounds of sex, did I mention she's an ESTP? I'm an ISTP and as her husband I obviously messaged the guy telling him not to speak to my wife again and he agreed when I messaged him but later they messaged each other again, now me and her are separated and she's with the guy telling me how she's ready to commit to him, I did so much for her, I payed part of her education, I moved cities away from my family, I postponed some examinations I needed to do to further my own education and she threw it all in my face. And up till now it feels like she doesn't care and she will never care, despite me describing how much I pitied her and cared for her, especially with her being an orphan I wanted to help her, but yeah, at first I wanted to kidnap the guy she's with and torture him then set him on fire but now thinking about that, as I'm already in the criminal database (for an offence as a child) I feel like I'm more likely to be caught. Lol I really wanna get revenge on her or just make her feel like shit and mess up her life the way she has disrupted mine, but I don't know what is best, I've come up with many ideas, maybe I could get your input.

  6. #36
    Let me count the ways Betty Blue's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by b4b View Post
    how to get back at ESTP?
    What if you're used (relationship wise) by one...how would you get back at them? I guess they get bored easy and stop caring after a while...so this is probably going to be a tough one...
    ESTP's seem pretty freaked out by Fi, they can get really weirded out by it. They seem to think that everyone has an end game and everyone is gaming each other and etc. True to some extent but sometimes Fi has it's own little universe of mutual exchange moral compass which the ESTP seems scary. It's almost a phobia for them.

    I knew an ESTP woman who was my neighbour and she just didn't get me at all, when i moved house she said 'well it was nice knowing you but I won't bother keeping in touch' harsh but I felt I understood her position, having been at the vulnerable end of ESTP interaction in the past and learning from it.

    She couldn't understand me at all though. Infant I freaked her out with my morality so much she was bizarrely afraid of me. She actually had a nightmare about me murdering her... seriously... all because she couldn't understand why I would do charity work because I actually wanted to help the cause... for her it was a means to an end... 'you get the best stuff if you work from them and you get it for peanuts' me 'yes it's one advantage, so is helping the kids who can't afford holidays' her'er... yeah, what did you get'

    I know not all ESTP's are so stereotypically obvious but it's the constant sales element of it that binds them. Everything being some kind of transaction for their benefit (and that of their family/loved ones too).

    My advice is just to laser them with your Fi. Idk seems to work for me... make sure you put on some feeler armour though as they can be brutal. And don't expect them to understand or have any kind of revelation. It's not the way to go to solve anything.
    "We knew he was someone who had a tragic flaw, that's where his greatness came from"
    Likes RedAmazoneFriendZone liked this post

  7. #37
    Senior Member RedAmazoneFriendZone's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by HelenOfTroy View Post
    I know not all ESTP's are so stereotypically obvious but it's the constant sales element of it that binds them. Everything being some kind of transaction for their benefit (and that of their family/loved ones too).
    My advice is just to laser them with your Fi. And don't expect them to understand or have any kind of revelation. It's not the way to go to solve anything.
    Growing old, they will probably think there is something wrong with them (unless they are stupid). I fired a few ESTP from my life with no turn back.

    I can say they can be very provocative but that is a dead end with me. Everyone needs a bit of humanity, respect and seriousness.

    Most of them have tried to take me for granted (like their other "friends"). If I define myself as quite individualistic, the 3 ESTP I fired from my life where totally egoistical.

    Should I suppose most ESTP have no inner life. I think this is sad (for the non healthy one of course). Nature is well-done, those who only care for interest will be noticed

    for that commercial interest. Unless one day or another they may feel lonely.

    Laser them with Fi. Does that work ?
    ALL THAT WE SEE OR SEEM TO BE IS BUT A DREAM WITHIN A DREAM

  8. #38
    Senior Member RedAmazoneFriendZone's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Poki View Post
    Catch him in lies and make them feel stupid in front of others. Make him and everyone else question his Ni or his logic. Attack there weakness, but dont tell them I told you so. Really though, revenge is not worth it in the long run, but when was this ever a perfect world
    THAT WORKS. I met a narcissist ESTP once who was really into me. The only important weak point I could touch was that he was an orphan.

    He was a professional liar focused on his own business and only that business. Believe me, that man (maybe all ESTP) feared a lot humiliation.

    He really did crazy things for me, but was totally unable to be humble and let drop his mask. He was also very immature (one more on my list, not only ESTP !)


    When I told him it is over, he didn't want to hear it (like most men ). A week ago, he had DECIDED to buy stuffs for me.

    I got rid of him by just expressing myself frankly and inviting a new story (he would not have left me alone if I was telling him I was free) :

    "I'm not a prostitute ! you'll not buy me with your goods and your material promise. I'm not attracted by you. You disgust me.

    I've found a man who listens to his heart and isn't obsessed with money. And that man doesn't consider me like his dog. Understand ?

    Do you wanna hear more ? "


    He said no (laughing of course, obviously that was so so funny, isn't it)

    He had too many scares underneath to accept me to humiliate him. And I knew it.


    I stopped seeing him but every time he used to be back with some pictures to remind me "the old times" and some invites for a vip restaurant

    (I seriously prefer to eat to mc Donald with a guy I love than with a man in a 5 star hotel who takes me for his doll !).

    I refused firmly. He was back like....15 times . He was NOT IN LOVE and HAS NEVER BEEN (to my senses).

    He loved the way men were looking at me when we were together and I knew it. I hate that feeling. I was a kind of trophée he wanted to exhibit.

    I was frank enough (and I'm still being), rebellious and very ironic for this kind of "man". I was always angry with him. He didn't seem to care much.



    You must SHOW HIM YOU DON'T FEAR HIS STUPIDITY. A secure and healthy woman must know her limits and fight for her rights.

    If you still feel attracted to him you may have a problem to solve with men (BAD ANIMUS).

    Normally his first weak point should be his "social image".
    ALL THAT WE SEE OR SEEM TO BE IS BUT A DREAM WITHIN A DREAM

  9. #39
    Let me count the ways Betty Blue's Avatar
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    I can say the one and only time i ever exacted any revenge on anyone was with ESxP, definately a SEE in socionics but still not entirely sure between ESFp and ESTP in mbti. The way I did this was to expose said persons lies infant of an audience that he was currently trying to con and had lied many times over to. Of course I was dubbed the crazy ex, but theres only so many crazy ex's one person can rack up before people start to get a little suspicious. Unfortunately for most this person was about a good as any trickster you could meet. Selling ice to the eskimo's was just his warm up act. So glad to be free of that poison. I think that's the thing really... those relationships are so toxic you end up doing pretty out there things in response and out of sheer desperation for some clarity and understanding that you actually end up addicted to the pain and drama. Honestly once you get out of it for long enough and gain some perspective you'll be so grateful you are far away from it.
    "We knew he was someone who had a tragic flaw, that's where his greatness came from"

  10. #40
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    Sounds like people are equating ESXP with sociopathy. I don't think that's wise.

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