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  1. #21
    ¡MI TORTA! Amethyst's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by highlander29 View Post
    I have seen almost all these things with a former co-worker. It's good to know this may be some kind of normal aberration vs. a serious mental health issue (which is what I thought it might be). Also, this person was never able to admit she was ever wrong or made a mistake, refusing to take responsibility for her own actions, and blaming everybody else. There was noise that followed her around everywhere.

    With this person, there was nothing I could do right in their eyes. All interaction seemed to lead to negative consequences. Being open and honest didn't work. Turning the other cheek didn't work. Being kind and showing concern didn't work. Praise didn't work. Attempts to guide and coach didn't work. The only positive action I seemed to be able to take was to stay as far away from her as possible. It was frustrating. I attempted to analyze what I might be doing wrong ad infinitum.
    I just think that whatever NT, or maybe any other type, in general, could never understand what is going on in an unhealthy ESFP's head, no matter how hard one may try. They are classified as my personality's enigma, and I've tried everything that you have to please them, but once they dislike you, it's done, and it's best if you just walk away.

  2. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by highlander29 View Post
    With this person, there was nothing I could do right in their eyes. All interaction seemed to lead to negative consequences. Being open and honest didn't work. Turning the other cheek didn't work. Being kind and showing concern didn't work. Praise didn't work. Attempts to guide and coach didn't work. The only positive action I seemed to be able to take was to stay as far away from her as possible. It was frustrating. I attempted to analyze what I might be doing wrong ad infinitum.
    That´s what happens when two persons with opposite personalities meet. I had the exact same peoblem with an ESFJ. I´m INTP.

  3. #23
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    I LIKE INFJs... they're fun!

    (meaning the above statement isn't necissarily true!)
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  4. #24
    Senior Member une_autre's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by highlander29 View Post
    I have seen almost all these things with a former co-worker. It's good to know this may be some kind of normal aberration vs. a serious mental health issue (which is what I thought it might be). Also, this person was never able to admit she was ever wrong or made a mistake, refusing to take responsibility for her own actions, and blaming everybody else. There was noise that followed her around everywhere.

    With this person, there was nothing I could do right in their eyes. All interaction seemed to lead to negative consequences. Being open and honest didn't work. Turning the other cheek didn't work. Being kind and showing concern didn't work. Praise didn't work. Attempts to guide and coach didn't work. The only positive action I seemed to be able to take was to stay as far away from her as possible. It was frustrating. I attempted to analyze what I might be doing wrong ad infinitum.
    Ditto. An extremely unhealthy ESFP I know encompasses all these traits.

    Also, I think it is very strange that for an F type, an unhealthy ESFP can lack empathy so much and act so carelessly with respect to other people's feelings.

  5. #25
    Senior Member KDude's Avatar
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    Bad Fi types.. hmm..

    Maybe it has to do with upbringing and having undeveloped values (or rather, they have values that they created solely on their own - which, in turn, are completely shitty, self-serving, and uninformed).

    I might even have some of my own "bad values", to be honest. Although I'd like to think they're minor and tend to only hurt me at worst.

    edit: I would just add that you can hear people all the time making feeling judgements.. and going wrong about it in every way. Take the statement "Gotta get mine". That's kind of a Fi oriented value...yet there's nothing moral about it. Fi can be completely screwed up.

    [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VEX57o9G0Ow&feature=related].[/youtube]

  6. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by une_autre View Post

    Also, I think it is very strange that for an F type, an unhealthy ESFP can lack empathy so much and act so carelessly with respect to other people's feelings.
    True, I´ve experinced an ESFP female that loves to play with guys feelings. Always trying to make some guy jealous. And she´s rumourde to have mental issues. And it´s not always possible to see if an ESFP is unhealthy. The action is a better indicator.

  7. #27
    Senior Member InfiniteIntrigue's Avatar
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    -Will be short-tempered and will scream.
    -Will break into tears and get angry.
    -Will feel rejected and want to see others unhappy.
    -Will make stupid choices to compensate for negative feelings.
    -Stereotypically will become callous to other people's thoughts.
    -Will be self-centered.

    I see what an unhealthy ESFP is like too often. My best friend is one... ah life.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    "Fools who wear their hearts proudly on their sleeves,
    who cannot control their emotions, who wallow in sad
    memories and allow themselves to be provoked this
    easily -- weak people, in other words -- they stand no chance."
    -Severus Snape

  8. #28
    Administrator highlander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tawanda View Post
    I just think that whatever NT, or maybe any other type, in general, could never understand what is going on in an unhealthy ESFP's head, no matter how hard one may try. They are classified as my personality's enigma, and I've tried everything that you have to please them, but once they dislike you, it's done, and it's best if you just walk away.
    That is apparently what happened

    Quote Originally Posted by une_autre View Post
    Ditto. An extremely unhealthy ESFP I know encompasses all these traits.

    Also, I think it is very strange that for an F type, an unhealthy ESFP can lack empathy so much and act so carelessly with respect to other people's feelings.
    Yes, yes, yes!!!

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  9. #29
    Senior Member seamaid's Avatar
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    All of this describes my istp boyfriend's esfp female friend and why I strangely feel uneasy whenever I'm around her. Outwardly she's "nice", outgoing and charming. But try as I might to give her the benefit of the doubt, each interaction with her leaves me feeling stressed out and bad about myself. She does these subtle guilt trips, power plays, petty competitive one-ups that make me think she wants something out of me (acquiescence?), all while giving the sweetest smile. Her "compliments" to me sound condescending, like she's granting me a big favor: "Oh my god, I'm one of those girls who would never paint her nails, but after seeing yours, I want YOU to paint my nails!" Um, sure...

    I don't know. My bf thinks she's really great (that is, fun), but I feel like she needs to be "princess" all the time and have everyone (and definitely every guy) see her that way. She's actually quite emotionally unstable, has these fantasies of being someone unique and amazing (but even these qualities are almost "cliched uniqueness" like being proud that you're a hippie or a "Rasta"), but isn't actually doing anything with her life.

    Sorry, but that's my spiel on what is probably an unhealthy ESFP.

  10. #30
    Junior Member Green Feldspar's Avatar
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    I know one ESFP when under stress tends to sulk, complain, frown and swear a lot. He also gets very argumentative and is quick to criticize everything you do.

    But when he's in a healthy state of mind, he's very fun to be around and has a wicked sense of humour.
    Last edited by Green Feldspar; 05-14-2010 at 10:03 AM. Reason: text
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