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  1. #1
    Wait, what? Varelse's Avatar
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    Default Counterpart for an ESFP

    My ESFP cousin wants to know what her ideal romantic counterpart would be. I know that the one for INTP is often considered to be INFJ, but I don't know about for ESFP. ESTJ, perhaps?
    We are not poets
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    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    It depends who you ask and what she likes/wants.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
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    Wait, what? Varelse's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    It depends who you ask and what she likes/wants.
    Yeah...

    Her specifications are "funny and cute and nice". And respectful. Whatever that means.
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  4. #4
    only bites when provoked
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    At least three of those four are totally subjective. The fourth is subjective but possible to discern.

    I'd say the last is generally associated with Judging types.
    I 100%, N 88%, T 88%, J 75%

    Disclaimer: The above is my opinion and mine alone, it does not mean I cannot change my mind, nor does it guarantee that my comments are related to any deep-seated convictions. Take everything I say with a whole snowplow worth of salt and call me in the morning, if you can.

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    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Varelse View Post
    Her specifications are "funny and cute and nice". And respectful. Whatever that means.
    Gaaaa -- crazy ESFPs!!!
    (You can't get a useful set of requirements from them, even when you ask!)

    It depends on the ESFP, I think. They are so fun and flexy that they can deal with many different types of people; it's usually more of a question about whether the SO can handle them. Someone with structure or direction usually helps, to complement their energy.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

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    ESFPs annoy me. They always seem to think I'm uptight.

    But at least they don't nag like the ExFJs and ask about every little detail about your life (that second one is probably truer of ESFJs).

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    Wait, what? Varelse's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    Gaaaa -- crazy ESFPs!!!
    (You can't get a useful set of requirements from them, even when you ask!)

    It depends on the ESFP, I think. They are so fun and flexy that they can deal with many different types of people; it's usually more of a question about whether the SO can handle them. Someone with structure or direction usually helps, to complement their energy.
    Yeah...and she tends to follow a more conservative, structured branch of Christianity than I do.

    E.g., volunteered to attend a college where she has to wear a skirt during class as part of the dress code.

    And I don't think she'd do ok with an introvert long-term. From my experience, she needs about constant social interaction. And more involved social interaction as well.
    We are not poets
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    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Varelse View Post
    Yeah...and she tends to follow a more conservative, structured branch of Christianity than I do. E.g., volunteered to attend a college where she has to wear a skirt during class as part of the dress code.
    Well, then, aside from type, she will need someone who at least fits into her value system.

    And I don't think she'd do ok with an introvert long-term. From my experience, she needs about constant social interaction. And more involved social interaction as well.
    Then you already have a better handle on her than we do. It seems that she will need an E to play with.

    As far as the rest:
    - she is an xSFP, so she can deal well with another S OR an N, most likely. (SFP emulates N in some ways).
    - If she needs some structure to her life, a T partner would help to counter her F. If she has developed structure skills, she might enjoy the emotional interplay of F with someone who shares her values.
    - Again, more structure = J. More play = P.

    Much of it depends on how successful she is at being well-rounded herself, and how many coping skills she has developed. The more she can cope on her own, the less she needs someone to fill in missing pieces.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  9. #9
    Per Ardua Metamorphosis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Varelse View Post
    My ESFP cousin wants to know what her ideal romantic counterpart would be. I know that the one for INTP is often considered to be INFJ, but I don't know about for ESFP. ESTJ, perhaps?
    ISTJ

    ...and that's not a joke.

    I heard once that the best match is only keeping the second letter the same. Seems true to me (in my experience, and everyone who I talk to about it's experience). This is typically the case for long-term (successful) relationships, though. It may take a while to actually develop the attraction, whereas people tend to be immediately attracted to people who have every letter different (INTJs in this case).

    Of course, this is all taking looks out of the equation.

    EDIT to add: Now I see this... http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...ification.html ... Economica's quote on the first page seems spot on.
    "You will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you never had the courage to commit."

    Reason is, and ought only to be the slave of the passions, and can never pretend to any other office
    than to serve and obey them. - David Hume

  10. #10
    pathwise dependent FDG's Avatar
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    INTP of course.

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