[ISTP] How do you get an ISTP to fall for you?

[Randomnity]

what everyone else said. don't "try" to make him fall for you - he will or he won't, you can't change that.

DO maintain a constant level of "showing interest" without oscillating between "hot" and "cold"...that gets confusing/irritating very quickly, at least for me.

 

[INTJMom]

Is it even possible? Right when I feel like he's getting close he backs away...I give up.

Wear really tight pants.
Look beautiful.

 

[lecky]

DO maintain a constant level of "showing interest" without oscillating between "hot" and "cold"...that gets confusing/irritating very quickly, at least for me.

Uh oh...I do that a lot, but it's just a reaction to when I think he is not interested and it turns out that he still is/was. I think it's too late...

good to know though, thanks!

 

[kendoiwan]

I'm not all that complicated. But then I'm slutty like that too.

 

[Bamboo]

It might *seem* unrelated, but I created this post in response to this thread.

Stay tuned.

---EDIT---

Moved post to relationship section so updated link.

 

[Lookin4theBestNU]

Have you tried just sleeping with him? That worked for me.

 

[lecky]

Have you tried just sleeping with him? That worked for me.

Haha! I've been holding back on that b/c I thought that would be a turn off to sleep with him so soon. Trust me it's not because I don't want to...plus I will start expecting more from him if there's sex, we are not even in a relationship.

...but yeah I'm dying to damnit, he's just making it hard.

 

[Bamboo]

Have you tried just sleeping with him? That worked for me.

Haha! I've been holding back on that b/c I thought that would be a turn off to sleep with him so soon. Trust me it's not because I don't want to...plus I will start expecting more from him if there's sex, we are not even in a relationship.

...but yeah I'm dying to damnit, he's just making it hard.

For me, that would make you a sex partner. Nothing more, nothing less.

It would keep me around for a bit, although no guarantee of falling for you.

$0.02

 

[Lookin4theBestNU]

Trust me it's not because I don't want to...plus I will start expecting more from him if there's sex, we are not even in a relationship.

...but yeah I'm dying to damnit, he's just making it hard.

I approached this very differently. If you think about it you may actually be the one making it too hard . I wasn't trying to get him to fall for me and so I didn't feel any pressure. I think there is great danger in expectations for both parties. They can be traps in themselves. ISTPs are pretty good at sensing traps especially those with nicely developed Ni. You could be showing more of your "hand" so to say then you know. Try taking it easy maybe and see if he makes any moves?

 

[lecky]

I approached this very differently. If you think about it you may actually be the one making it too hard . I wasn't trying to get him to fall for me and so I didn't feel any pressure. I think there is great danger in expectations for both parties. They can be traps in themselves. ISTPs are pretty good at sensing traps especially those with nicely developed Ni. You could be showing more of your "hand" so to say then you know. Try taking it easy maybe and see if he makes any moves?

That's my current strategy, I'm not doing anything...I have a feeling it's just going to fizzle out. I just know that we will bump into each other again and that amazing chemistry will be there...

I want to get him out of my head, I care way too much. It's not that I'm trying to "trap" him...I just like him and want to date, why is that so bad? I guess to him that's a "trap" (so f'd up in my opinion). The thing is I try so hard to play it cool with him that he's stated that I don't act like I like him, but come on...it's so friggin obvious.

...and yes I make everything more complicated than it should be, I'm a pro at that. I know we are not the best match but it is so hard to find that chemistry...I can't let go!

 

[Colors]

Why don't you just ask him out then? You like him, he likes you?

Like a date, date. None of this getting drunk stuff.

 

[lecky]

Why don't you just ask him out then? You like him, he likes you?

Like a date, date. None of this getting drunk stuff.

Well, I just figured if he liked me he would ask me out on one by now...

 

[Costrin]

Well, I just figured if he liked me he would ask me out on one by now...

Yeah, probably better not to assume that.

 

[lecky]

Yeah, probably better not to assume that.

LOL, I know...

We'll see what happens...probably nothing but we'll see. I still have hope (because I'm an idiot)

 

[Costrin]

LOL, I know...

We'll see what happens...probably nothing but we'll see. I still have hope (because I'm an idiot)

Stating how you feel about him outright would likely be much appreciated by him. ITPs kinda suck at reading the cues and subtlety, and his intuition likely isn't as strong to help him out either. It makes things so much easier for us if it's stated outright.

 

[Colors]

Well, I just figured if he liked me he would ask me out on one by now...

LOL, I know...

We'll see what happens...probably nothing but we'll see. I still have hope (because I'm an idiot)

Maybe he thinks if you liked him, *you* would've asked him out already. Or you'd have given him the "ASK ME OUT" secret handshake. Or the "ASK ME OUT" pigeon dance. Maybe he's given you the "ASK ME OUT" eyebrow wiggle and you didn't see it.

Who knows? You won't unless someone takes the chance. You can't control what he does, so you'll have to take the chance yourself.

 

[BlackCat]

Well, I just figured if he liked me he would ask me out on one by now...

I would like to know where this attitude comes from. Seriously. "Well I like this guy, but I'm never going to do anything or ask him out or anything because it's the GUY'S job to do that! Why? I don't know, it just IS!"

If people wouldn't do this then a lot more relationships would happen, and a lot more people wouldn't be moping around about how they are single. I can't believe how many females I know with this attitude that ALWAYS go on and on about how they can never get a boyfriend, but then they never make any initiative to make any move on them, since it's expected for the guy to do it. Gender roles are absolute bullshit.

Maybe if you asked HIM on a date then you will get something started. What's stopping you? It will be very clear that you care about him if you ask him on a date or something!

I'm not pegging that stereotype on you, since it's a bit extreme. But you get the picture, I'm sure you understand what point I'm trying to make.

 

[millerm277]

If you like us, I'll almost guarantee that we either know, or have a very strong suspicion about it. "Traps", even the best laid ones, are pretty obvious to us. However, the good news is....stop worrying. We don't act quickly. It takes a little while for us to get everything all figured out mentally, and such before being willing to make a move. If he's confessed those feelings when drunk, the feelings are most likely real, it could just take a while for him to be willing to express them. How long, I have no idea.

Sleeping with him, is most likely not going to influence things one way or the other as far as his feelings go.

 

[lecky]

I would like to know where this attitude comes from. Seriously. "Well I like this guy, but I'm never going to do anything or ask him out or anything because it's the GUY'S job to do that! Why? I don't know, it just IS!"

Well obviously someone hasn't read "He's Just Not That Into You"

 

[BlackCat]

Oh, so a book, written by ONE person dictates this? Awesome. I know you're just trying to be funny, but I'm going to say this anyway.

I don't think you see this as genuine anger on my part. I hate it when I see people do this. I think it's pretty stupid, and it's pointless. I've lost perfect opportunities because of this. I will make an effort to get to know someone, and they show no visible interest and don't ever ask me on a date or make any moves. Then later on I find out from them that they actually liked me and hoped I would make a move. WTF is this?!

Do yourself a favor and make a move on him. You like him. What's the issue?