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  1. #61
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
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    okay, i really want to start a thread but guess i'm not allowed.......anyway, along these lines, i think my istp-alternative-boyfriend likes me well enough. he's been continuing communication with me for 1 1/2 years, and has opened up to me on several occasions, and we've slept together, which they say means he likes me. but what i want to know is how likely is it they will keep on liking someone they have sorta 'fallen' for? in my case an 'istp' guy for an infj girl..........?

    i mean, if they sorta 'fall' are they ever prone to getting comfortable in that, or always likely to turn off at the slightest provacation, or just change in the weather, as some descriptions seem to imply?
    Ni/Ti/Fe/Si
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    The more one loves God, the more it is that having nothing in the world means everything, and the less one loves God, the more it is that having everything in the world means nothing.

    Do not resist an evil person, but to him who strikes you on the one cheek, offer also the other. ~Matthew 5:39

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  2. #62
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    Quote Originally Posted by aphrodite-gone-awry View Post
    okay, i really want to start a thread but guess i'm not allowed.......anyway, along these lines, i think my istp-alternative-boyfriend likes me well enough. he's been continuing communication with me for 1 1/2 years, and has opened up to me on several occasions, and we've slept together, which they say means he likes me. but what i want to know is how likely is it they will keep on liking someone they have sorta 'fallen' for? in my case an 'istp' guy for an infj girl..........?

    i mean, if they sorta 'fall' are they ever prone to getting comfortable in that, or always likely to turn off at the slightest provacation, or just change in the weather, as some descriptions seem to imply?

    It's possible he slept with you simply because you were available and willing. I'm sure it helps that you are close friends. Ultimately, only you two know if it will ever be more than that.

    You left out a lot of important details.

    We're practical people, so is there a practical reason why he hasn't pursued a deeper relationship with you?

  3. #63
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phoenity View Post
    It's possible he slept with you simply because you were available and willing. I'm sure it helps that you are close friends. Ultimately, only you two know if it will ever be more than that.

    You left out a lot of important details.

    We're practical people, so is there a practical reason why he hasn't pursued a deeper relationship with you?
    i just really meant it as more a general istp relationship question, piggybacking on to the istp 'fall for you' theme.......the descriptions of istps make it sound like they shun commitments and do not maintain longterm relationships very often. i'm just wondering if that's really the case irl. like, do istps quite often, if fact, desire and maintain ltr? how about casual ltr?
    Ni/Ti/Fe/Si
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    The more one loves God, the more it is that having nothing in the world means everything, and the less one loves God, the more it is that having everything in the world means nothing.

    Do not resist an evil person, but to him who strikes you on the one cheek, offer also the other. ~Matthew 5:39

    songofmary.wordpress.com


  4. #64
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    Casual long-term relationships? That doesn't make any sense to me.

    I value sincere, intimate relationships with both my platonic friends and my romances. I don't see the point of maintaining a lot of acquaintances, or rather, wasting my time with people.

    The problem for me is that it's often difficult to get close to people like that. There usually has to be a common interest to bring us together for an extended period before I get close to people. I've realized recently that's been a problem for me all my life, so I'm working on being more open about a lot of things that don't necessarily need to be so private, as people seem to respond well to that and reciprocate.

    The close friendships I have now that I put effort into maintaining, will likely be life-long relationships.

    Then there have been so many people who just seemed to have floated into and out of my life, I rarely think about them. There's just no practicality in contacting them and maintaining a relationship.

  5. #65
    Controlled Mischief StephMC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Grayscale View Post
    it's like the neighborhood stray that unofficially belongs to someone... just leave some food out on the porch and be confident that if they want to be there, they will come to you, if they really like you after getting to know you, theyll stick around. just grabbing them and trying to putting a collar on them will probably not go over well.
    LOL... very true. Although, in my current I'm-23-and-want-to-be-free-and-experience-life mindset, I would like to make one minor alteration:
    Try more like a stray tiger.

  6. #66
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phoenity View Post
    The close friendships I have now that I put effort into maintaining, will likely be life-long relationships.
    thanks for your input. can you tell me how this looks for you? what do you define as 'maintaining?' is this physically seeing your friends and doing something, like skiing with them? or is it texting every day? or is it touching base with them every few weeks? are these close friendships ones in which you actually see the friend in person?

    i hear from my istp friend/lover every 2-3 weeks, sometimes more often. this consists of chatting and texting. it is a complicated relationship and we don't actually see each other very much at all, and when we do, it's sexual (only every few months). i enjoy him and could keep doing this for as long as he likes, pretty much, because i find it titillating and i just simply like him. since i've heard istps usually have relationships surrounding activities, i guess i wonder mainly if chatting every few weeks is worth it for him, in and of itself, the relating and chatting. we've been doing this for a year and a half so i guess it is worth it to him. i wonder if the sex stops if he'll want to be friends, although i understand this is probably doubtful unless we see each other, and actually 'do' things together or have something in common.

    i guess i should just ask him next time we chat what he 'gets' out of chatting with me. maybe it's just to touch base so we can continue our occasional sexual rendezvous.....maybe he likes talking to me. he's shared many things with me, and i've shared things with him, but i am always waiting for him to just be done, i guess. to not want to maintain a connection just because we are fond of each other. most of the time i am pretty okay with that and 'zen' about it....haha.....but other times i feel his boredom, and wish is weren't so--wish that we could just be friends for the sake of just being friends!!
    Ni/Ti/Fe/Si
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    ~Torah observant, Christ inspired~
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    The more one loves God, the more it is that having nothing in the world means everything, and the less one loves God, the more it is that having everything in the world means nothing.

    Do not resist an evil person, but to him who strikes you on the one cheek, offer also the other. ~Matthew 5:39

    songofmary.wordpress.com


  7. #67
    Senior Member Grayscale's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by aphrodite-gone-awry View Post
    i mean, if they sorta 'fall' are they ever prone to getting comfortable in that, or always likely to turn off at the slightest provacation, or just change in the weather, as some descriptions seem to imply?
    i take my loyalties very seriously, that's not to say it's the easiest thing to earn.

    my appreciation is generally guileless, so i can seem capricious considering my mood may change from day to day, but that doesnt mean i dont operate on the basis of deeper feelings. it's just that very few, if any, people are given access to those and they are very slow to change. once i am loyal to someone, that wouldnt change unless they betrayed me so badly it undid every reason i had to be loyal to them in the first place... not likely. even if they did, i doubt i would retaliate, because even the reasons i was once loyal to them for cant be forgotten, at the very least they deserve to be left alone if we are to no longer know each other.

    for example... i might meet someone new that i find likable and respond to them positively, while at the same time i might be grumpy with a close friend or family member because they have irritated me for some reason. that doesnt mean that they would get much more out of me than a bit of conversation, or that im not deeply concerned with the well-being of people i care about. my true feelings will be reflected in my consistent actions. they can be described (with difficulty) but most of the day my words and my behavior is a reflection of the present environment and circumstances, not a representation of what is valuable to me were my boundaries in that matter tested.

    it's confusing because, like yourself, people are inclined to question where our [seemingly enigmatic] feelings lie, but the real question is whether you have the clemency to handle our intensity and the patience to earn the trust it takes to get past the walls we put up. the laid-back and adventuresome attitude might seem attractive, but you have to understand that that is only the tip of the iceberg if this type seems elusive and skeptical of your affection... for me, it is not a fear of commitment, but a rite of passage for those who wish to mean something to me. with people, indifference is often used as a defense mechanism, conversely if they ever express their deeper emotions about you (or at least attempt to) that's a very good sign they trust you.

  8. #68
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    There is a lot of good information in this thread! especially the posts by lauranna and Grayscale.

    I'm an INTP but I rock-climb and paraglide, and these two sports seem to have a lot of ISTPs in them because they're very skill-oriented and there's a little bit of a thrill element in them.

    Ummm...what was my point...ohyeah...anyway, from what I have noticed, ISTPs are very activities-based and they create personal bonds by doing activities together. The ISTPs I know go off weekend trips to rock-climbing or paragliding sites and that's how they bond.

    So, that might be a good idea to bond with your sweetie. Plan some activities dates where you're doing some kind of sport, and keep it light and fun. I've been on activity dates with ISTPs to the rock climbing gym, gone sea kayaking, and they seem to enjoy it.

    Toshi

  9. #69
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Grayscale View Post
    i take my loyalties very seriously, that's not to say it's the easiest thing to earn.

    my appreciation is generally guileless, so i can seem capricious considering my mood may change from day to day, but that doesnt mean i dont operate on the basis of deeper feelings. it's just that very few, if any, people are given access to those and they are very slow to change. once i am loyal to someone, that wouldnt change unless they betrayed me so badly it undid every reason i had to be loyal to them in the first place... not likely. even if they did, i doubt i would retaliate, because even the reasons i was once loyal to them for cant be forgotten, at the very least they deserve to be left alone if we are to no longer know each other.

    for example... i might meet someone new that i find likable and respond to them positively, while at the same time i might be grumpy with a close friend or family member because they have irritated me for some reason. that doesnt mean that they would get much more out of me than a bit of conversation, or that im not deeply concerned with the well-being of people i care about. my true feelings will be reflected in my consistent actions. they can be described (with difficulty) but most of the day my words and my behavior is a reflection of the present environment and circumstances, not a representation of what is valuable to me were my boundaries in that matter tested.

    it's confusing because, like yourself, people are inclined to question where our [seemingly enigmatic] feelings lie, but the real question is whether you have the clemency to handle our intensity and the patience to earn the trust it takes to get past the walls we put up. the laid-back and adventuresome attitude might seem attractive, but you have to understand that that is only the tip of the iceberg if this type seems elusive and skeptical of your affection... for me, it is not a fear of commitment, but a rite of passage for those who wish to mean something to me. with people, indifference is often used as a defense mechanism, conversely if they ever express their deeper emotions about you (or at least attempt to) that's a very good sign they trust you.
    thanks soooo much for this thoughtful response. it's nice to see/hear istp input about the positive aspects of your personality because the literature on you guys just makes you sound so heartless and apathetic!

    yes, i know all about the istp rite of passage. i'll even use a rare emoticon for that *//rusty tribal knife rips more tender flesh//*........haha.

    but, alas, for me, the passage is worth it. twisted and dark and convoluted, but oh, so, exciting.............
    Ni/Ti/Fe/Si
    4w5 5w4 1w9
    ~Torah observant, Christ inspired~
    Life Path 11

    The more one loves God, the more it is that having nothing in the world means everything, and the less one loves God, the more it is that having everything in the world means nothing.

    Do not resist an evil person, but to him who strikes you on the one cheek, offer also the other. ~Matthew 5:39

    songofmary.wordpress.com


  10. #70
    Bizarre Love Triangle Puffypolma's Avatar
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    I am having a minor crush on one. Don't know if it's possible between ISTP and INFP for relationship
    I don't want to die in a car accident. When I die it'll be a glorious day. It'll probably be a waterfall.
    -River Phoenix

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