I’m an INTP, and I’ve fallen for an ISFP girl. We were friends first, but then she came after me pretty hard, but I was oblivious to her overt flirting. Eventually, I figured it out and pursued her, but by then she had moved on.
Ever since then, we’ve been hot and cold. It seems like we’re going to start dating, but then we don’t. I get mixed signals from her (not that I’m good at reading signals). One moment it seems like she’s totally in love with me and I start planning on taking it to the next level, but then the next time I see her she’s cold and aloof.
I care about her immensely. We’ve become pretty good friends thus far, spending hours on the phone together, but I can’t tell if she wants more or will ever want more. We’ve hung out a few times, and she’s always laughing at everything I say and continually saying that we need to hang out again soon. She has completely opened up to me, and I catch her staring at me sometimes, beaming with a huge smile like I’m the best thing that ever happened to her. But after we say goodbye, she never calls or texts me. I always have to initiate, but when I do, she generally gets back to me quickly.
I can’t tell if I’m only a friend to her or if she’s just taking it slow and is worried about me hurting her because I think I give off mixed signals too. I'm not really pursuing her very strongly despite my feelings. (I'm worried about suffocating her.) Plus, I often come off as aloof too. I’m an INTP, so I’m not good at showing my affections. I haven’t even tried to hug her. If she was just a female friend, I probably would have hugged her a thousand times by now, but since I’m attracted to her, I’m petrified of losing her by making it weird.
I really don't think I would be having this much trouble with her if it wasn't for the fact that she's so damn pretty. I've never been good with pretty girls to begin with, and it's worse that she's got one of the most mysterious personalities around.
Without making me feel too pathetic, anyone have any advice? Can someone tell me if I'm in the dreaded friend zone and whether it's possible to escape it with an ISFP?